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    Archive for 2008

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    Math Is Your Friend

    , | Toronto, Canada | Top

    (Customer approaches cash desk with two t-shirts with a price tag of $14.99 each. I scan the t-shirts.)

    Me: “Oh, they scan at $7.99 each.”

    Customer: “The sign on the table where I found them says that they’re 2 for $20.00.”

    Me: “I know, but they scan at $7.99.”

    Customer: “…but the sign says 2 for $20.00.”

    Me: “I know, but head office must have changed the sale and updated the computer before we had a chance to change the sign. So you can buy the shirts for $7.99 each.”

    Customer: “I don’t care what price comes up in the computer. The sign says 2 for $20.00 so you have to sell them to me at that price!”

    Me: “Okay.”

    (I override the $7.99 price in the computer and change it to $10.00. The customer pays two dollars more per shirt than he has to and smugly goes on his way.)

    Why Alcohol And Customers Don’t Mix

    | Los Angeles, CA, USA | Top

    Me: “The Medic Recordings, how may I help you today?”

    Customer: “You know why I’m calling! Can I just come?!”

    Me: “Ma’am, whats the problem?”

    Customer: “Oh yes I’m sorry, it’s my son. He’s very sick.”

    Me: “Ma’am this is a recording studio. Are you sure you dialed the right number?”

    Customer: “WHAT?! The phone book says ‘The Medic’!”

    Me: “Uh…it says The Medic Recordings, I believe…”

    Customer: “This is ridiculous, I don’t care what you are. I’m coming in, my son has a terrible fever!”

    Me: “Ma’am I don’t think we could help you–”

    Customer: “JUST BE READY!”

    *Click*

    (Sure enough, she showed up about 15 minutes later and was obviously drunk because she had no son nor did she know why she came.)

    Related:
    I Got Alky On My Mind

    Preempting Stupidity

    | New York, NY, USA |

    Manager: “When laying down the sod, make sure the green side goes up.”

    Customer: “Are you serious? You have to tell me that the green side of the grass goes side up?”

    Manager: “I wouldn’t have to say it if someone didn’t make the mistake.”

    Think Unsexy Thoughts

    | Tillsonburg, ON, Canada |

    Elderly Female: “I didn’t know they had digital scales.”

    Me: *rings through scale* “Yup, they’re pretty cool.”

    Elderly Female: “Are they accurate?”

    Me: “I believe so, they measure to one decimal place too so it’s more accurate to read than a normal scale.”

    Elderly Female: “Oh that’s so lovely!!! I’m going to go home now and weigh myself naked!!!”

    Me: *bad bad image in head*

    And This Is Before They Started Trippin’

    | Vancouver, BC, Canada |

    (Two customers have come in to rent some sound equipment that they need to DJ a party. I’ve given them all the basic equipment they need for the sound system.)

    Me: “Is there anything else you need with your rental?”

    Customer: “Yeah, we need something to make it sound better…like lights!”

    Me:


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