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    Repeat After Me: Names Are Your Friends

    | East Lansing, MI, USA |

    Customer: “Can I get a vegetarian burrito with chicken?”

    Me: “You mean, a chicken burrito?”

    Customer: “Well, what’s in that?”

    Me: “Chicken.”

    Related:
    Instructions Are Your Friends

    A Few Beans Short Of A Latte

    | Florida, USA |

    Customer: “Excuse me, but I ordered the vegetable soup!”

    Me: “Yes ma’am, I know.”

    Customer: “I don’t see ANY vegetables in this!”

    Me: “Ma’am, that’s because it’s your coffee.”

    Customer: “Oh.”

    (She was surprisingly nice for the rest of meal and left a hefty tip.)

    Speaking Stupidese

    | Santa Rosa, CA, USA |

    (A customer comes in and goes to a display rack of boots.)

    Me: “Can I help you?”

    Customer: “Where are the boxes with all the shoes in them?”

    Me:

    Her Friend: “She means, do you have these boots in a size 8…”

    Related:
    Why Don’t We Stamp It On Your Forehead
    Egocentrism Meets Geocentrism
    You Be Telepathic So I Can Be Lazy
    (Telepathic) Help Wanted

    The Epitome of Lazy

    | Canada |

    Me: “Thank you for calling ***, how may I help you?”

    Lady: “I would like to make a return.”

    Me: “Alright, that should be fine. We allow returns on regularly priced clothing as long as it has the tags on it.”

    Lady: “Alright, great. So do I give you my phone number?”

    Me: “Pardon…?”

    Lady: “To do the return?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, you need to come into the store to do returns. We need to get the item you’re returning back.”

    Lady: “That’s ridiculous! You mean I need to get gas for my car and COME DOWN THERE?!”

    Me: “Yes…”

    Lady: *click*

    You Know You’ve Had Too Much To Drink When …

    | Fairfax, VA, USA | Top

    Customer: “I’ll have a margarita please.”

    (I get a margarita and serve it to the woman.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, miss? Can I please have another margarita? This one doesn’t have enough quatilia in it.”

    Me: “Ma’am, your drink is strong, I can guarantee it.”

    Customer: “How do you know there is enough quatilia in this?”

    Me: “Because you said “quatilia.”

    Customer: “Yeah, and?”

    Me: “It’s called ‘tequila.’”

    (Customer face turns a nice shade of crimson.)

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