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Archive for 2008

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Repeat After Me: Names Are Your Friends

| East Lansing, MI, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “Can I get a vegetarian burrito with chicken?”

Me: “You mean, a chicken burrito?”

Customer: “Well, what’s in that?”

Me: “Chicken.”

Instructions Are Your Friends

A Few Beans Short Of A Latte

| Florida, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “Excuse me, but I ordered the vegetable soup!”

Me: “Yes ma’am, I know.”

Customer: “I don’t see ANY vegetables in this!”

Me: “Ma’am, that’s because it’s your coffee.”

Customer: “Oh.”

(She was surprisingly nice for the rest of meal and left a hefty tip.)

Speaking Stupidese

| Santa Rosa, CA, USA | Uncategorized

(A customer comes in and goes to a display rack of boots.)

Me: “Can I help you?”

Customer: “Where are the boxes with all the shoes in them?”


Her Friend: “She means, do you have these boots in a size 8…”

Why Don’t We Stamp It On Your Forehead
Egocentrism Meets Geocentrism
You Be Telepathic So I Can Be Lazy
(Telepathic) Help Wanted

The Epitome of Lazy

| Canada | Uncategorized

Me: “Thank you for calling ***, how may I help you?”

Lady: “I would like to make a return.”

Me: “Alright, that should be fine. We allow returns on regularly priced clothing as long as it has the tags on it.”

Lady: “Alright, great. So do I give you my phone number?”

Me: “Pardon…?”

Lady: “To do the return?”

Me: “I’m sorry, you need to come into the store to do returns. We need to get the item you’re returning back.”

Lady: “That’s ridiculous! You mean I need to get gas for my car and COME DOWN THERE?!”

Me: “Yes…”

Lady: *click*

You Know You’ve Had Too Much To Drink When …

| Fairfax, VA, USA | Top

Customer: “I’ll have a margarita please.”

(I get a margarita and serve it to the woman.)

Customer: “Excuse me, miss? Can I please have another margarita? This one doesn’t have enough quatilia in it.”

Me: “Ma’am, your drink is strong, I can guarantee it.”

Customer: “How do you know there is enough quatilia in this?”

Me: “Because you said “quatilia.”

Customer: “Yeah, and?”

Me: “It’s called ‘tequila.'”

(Customer face turns a nice shade of crimson.)

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