Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Using The Lord’s Name Doesn’t Deliver
    (1,731 thumbs up)
  • July Theme Of The Month: Animal Madness!
    Submit your story today!

    Archive for 2008

    Jump to page:

    Totally Loopy, Thru-And-Thru

    , | Texas, USA |

    (My store has a drive-thru menu board before the actual board where customers order. It only has pictures on it, no electronics of any sort.)

    Me: “How can I help you?”

    Customer: “I already gave my order to the first guy and he told me to pull up to the second board.”

    Me: “That’s not possible, ma’am. There’s no one who could take your order at that first board. Can I take your order?”

    Customer: “I already told you I gave my order to the first guy. He knows it. Ask him.”

    Me: “Could you repeat it for me?”

    Customer: “NO! I’m driving up now.”

    (The customer drives up and I finally get her to repeat her order, which turns out to be a lot of food. I ask her to pull to the front door, which is literally twenty feet from the drive-thru window. Instead, she drives out of the drive-thru lane, drives around the entire store, and comes back in the drive-thru lane. She pulls up and looks at me again.)

    Customer: “I told the guy at the first board that I was parked and he told me to pull right up. I hope you are nice because the last girl was really rude to me.”

    Me: “…”

    Customer Knows Best

    | Perimeter, GA, USA | Top

    (We are running this little sale that offers the customer 20% off on regular priced item.)

    Customer: “So, can I use the sale coupon on sale items?”

    Me: “Unfortunately, the coupon is only good on regularly priced item.”

    Customer: “What about sale items?”

    Me: “It can only be used on regularly priced items.”

    Customer: “But the shoes were $109, and now they are $79.”

    Me: “We can only use it on regularly priced items.”

    Customer: “But it’s marked down!”

    Me: *losing patience, but still with a smile* “I’m sorry, but again we can only use it on regularly priced items.”

    Customer: “Well, then make my shoes regular priced and give me my 20%!”

    Me: “Sure, I’d be happy to. You grand total comes to $87.20.”

    Customer: “Finally! I swear, all you people try to do is swindle us out of buying sale items with that regular priced coupon. But I see through what you’re trying to do.”

    Me: “Yes. I’ll do everything I can to give you the best deal you want.”

    Everything But

    , | Chicago, IL, USA |

    Man: “I want to get a drink.”

    Me: “Sure. We have Coke, Diet Coke, Sprite, lemonade, root beer, iced tea, shakes, or smoothies.”

    Man: “I’ll have an orange soda.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, we only have Coke, Diet Coke, Sprite, lemonade, root beer, iced tea, shakes, or smoothies.”

    Man: “I’ll take fruit punch.”

    Me: “No, we only have Coke, Diet Coke, Sprite, lemonade, root beer, iced tea, shakes, or smoothies.”

    Man: “Pink lemonade?”

    Me: “It’s regular yellow. Is that okay?”

    Man: “No, I’ll have the raspberry tea.”

    Me: “It’s unsweetened.”

    Man: “What kind of place is this?! Is there ANYTHING to drink here?”

    Me: “YES! Coke, Diet Coke, Sprite, lemonade, root beer, iced tea, shakes, or smoothies.”

    Man: “I’ll just have a cup of ice.”

    Me: “…”

    Not Even Remotely Intelligent

    , | Roanoke, VA, USA |

    Me: “Thank you for calling ***, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes, you sold me a television remote control earlier…”

    (Note that this same customer bought a universal remote control and required five minutes of explanation as to why a universal remote would work on her Magnavox TV.)

    Me: “Yes, what about it?”

    Customer: “Well, I can’t program it.”

    Me: “Did you read the instruction manual? There’s not much I can do over the phone.”

    Customer: “Can’t you program it over the phone?”

    Me: “No, ma’am. You need to program it to your television. Without being there, I can’t do it.”

    Customer: “No lights come on, is there a battery in it?”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am. That type of remote comes with a battery.”

    Customer: “You’re not helpful!” *click*

    (A few minutes later, she calls back.)

    Customer: “Yes, I called about the remote. I still can’t program it. I don’t think you gave me a battery and I think you ripped me off.”

    Me: “Could you flip the remote over and see if there is a battery in it?”

    Customer: “Yeah, hold on…hey, what’s this? What about this tab that says “Remove Before Using”? Should I take that out?”

    Me: *major facepalm* “Yes ma’am. ”

    Customer: “Hey, the lights work now. Finally, you did something useful!” *click*

    (Not surprisingly, the lady calls back a few minutes later asking if the volume plus button was the one with the up arrow or the down arrow.)

    Mega Moochers, Inc.

    | Abu Dhabi, UAE | Top

    We are a Specialist Inspection company. Over two years ago, we did a job at short notice for another company that could not supply the service. They refused to pay us the US$40,000 despite getting paid by the client (and making a decent profit) and we were in the process of taking them to court to get payment.

    They were making the matter even more drawn out than normal by messing the court about, not turning up, etc. I recently got a phone call from their operations manager.

    Customer: “Ah, Mr. A***, we need you to do an urgent job for us.”

    Me: “…but you still owe us $40,000 from the last job we did for you.”

    Customer: “What about the good relationship between our companies?

    Me: “We don’t have a good relationship. We are taking you to court over this, remember?”

    Customer: “Please Mr. A***, that is all in the past. Can we not work together, for the good of the relationship?”

    Me: “The last time I saw you, you lied to me. Your manager has only ever lied to me. You owe us $40,000 dollars. We are taking you to court. How can we have a good relationship?”

    Customer: “We must work together, to build a good relationship.”

    Me: “What about our money?”

    Customer: “You are always going on about the money! Why can’t we have a good relationship?”

    Me: “It’s not going to happen.”

    Customer: “See, that is why we need a good relationship!”

    Me: “Goodbye.”

    Customer: “But what ab–” *click*


    Page 153/237First...151152153154155...Last