Archive for 2008

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Toothless Accusations

| New York, NY, USA |

Patient: “How much is my total?”

Receptionist: “$200.”

Patient: “What? That’s ridiculous! I should get a discount because I come here so much.”

Receptionist: “Ah, well, we really don’t see you more than a couple of times a year for checkups.”

Patient: “Well, he’s the most expensive dentist in the area.”

(The dentist happens to walk by.)

Patient: “Hey, doctor, you’re the most expensive dentist in the area!”

Doctor: “Thank you. It’s not true, but thank you.” *walks away*

Patient: “Are you sure you can’t give me a discount?”

Receptionist: “Sorry.”

Patient: “But I pay for his Bimmer!”

(Note: The doctor actually drives a Honda.)

Saved By The Belle

, | California |

(I used to work at a popular ice cream store, where they mix your ice cream. We got really busy during the weekends, with lines out the door. This happened as I was going down the line asking customers for their order.)

Me: “Hello, what would you like today?”

Customer: “Are you high?”

Me: “Uh…what?”

Customer: “Your eyes are REALLY red. That’s okay, I’m cool with it…I am sure it makes this job more fun.” *grins*

Me: “Um, I’m not high. I have contacts and they make my eyes really red.”

Customer: “Oh, gotcha.” *winks*

(At this point, I am hoping I dont lose my job for something this stupid.)

Me: “So what can I get you?”

Customer: “Nothing, I am just looking.”

Lady next to customer: “I know you are not high dear, don’t panic.” *gives me a tip*

Fully Armed And Operational Feminine Wiles

| Boston, MA, USA |

(A very attractive woman gets out of a Mercedes. She is wearing a mini skirt and halter top. Her outfit leaves nothing to the imagination.)

Attractive Customer: “I need 20 on 3.”

Me: “Okay.” *I ring her up and she pays*

Attractive Customer: “So is someone else working or do you pump the gas?”

Me: “This is a self-service station; we don’t pump the gas for you.”

Attractive Customer: “Well, there is no way I am pumping the gas myself.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t pump the gas for you.”

Attractive Customer: “This is no way to get a tip! I am the customer and I want you to pump the gas for me.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but if I leave the counter I could be fired. As I said this is a self service station; it means you have to do it yourself.”

Attractive Customer: “FINE!”

(She then walks out to her car and yells…)

Attractive Customer: “Is someone going to pump me or do I have to do it myself?!”

*every guy at the station goes running over to help her*

Also seen on: Not Always Romantic.

How About Some Ritalin While You’re At It

| Georgia, USA |

(Our insurance transmitter was experiencing problems, so we were unable to transmit to any insurance companies when filling prescriptions. I explained this to one customer, who decided to sit and wait for a while to see if the transmitter would come back up. Meanwhile another customer came in with a prescription.)

New Customer: “Hi, I’d like this filled please.”

Me: *explains transmitter problem*

New Customer: “Oh that’s okay, I don’t have insurance.”

Me: “No problem, we’ll have it ready in just a few minutes.”

Original Customer: “Wait! I was ahead of her! Why isn’t mine ready!?”

Me: “We are still waiting for the insurance transmitter to come back up, sir.”

Original Customer: “Well how did you fill hers!”

New Customer: “I pay cash, I don’t have prescription coverage.”

Original Customer: “Well I pay cash too!”

Me: “You want to just get it at retail price, and not use insurance?”

Original Customer: “Yes! I have cash! I’ll pay for it, just fill it now!”

(5 minutes later…)

Me: “Okay sir, we’ve got you ready. The total comes to $35.99.”

Original Customer: “WHAT! My co-pay is only $3.00!”

Me: “Sir, you said you wanted to go ahead and pay cash price since the insurance transmitter is still down.”

Original Customer: “I do have cash! See?” *shows wallet with cash in it* “Why is it $35?! You people don’t know anything! I’m taking my business elsewhere!”

Me: *face palm*

For The Good Of Mankind, Please Drink More

| Winnipeg, Canada |

Me: “Good afternoon! Thanks for calling, how can I help you?”

Customer: “I just got off the phone with poison control!”

Me: “Oh? ”

Customer: “They told me to call you! Tell me; is your cleaning solution toxic?”

Me: “You mean the stuff we use to clean fresh ear piercings?”

Customer: “Yah, that stuff. I mean, I called poison control and they said they weren’t familiar with your product but to call you and find out what’s in it…”

Me: “Well no sir, I don’t believe it’s toxic. There isn’t really anything in here that–”

Customer: “–because I ingested a whole bunch of it!”

Me: “Why?”

Customer: “I was out of mouth wash. I needed mouth wash.”

Me: “But it isn’t mouth wash…it’s used to clean piercings…”

Customer: “I know, do you think I’m stupid?! That’s why I’m worried!”

Me: “Sir, it isn’t toxic. And for the record, all the ingredients are on the bottle itself.”

Customer: “Why would I look at the bottle? I called poison control!”

Me: “Mhmm. It’s not going to kill you sir. Just try not to drink any more of it, please.”

Customer: “Oh good. I’ll call poison control back and tell them that your cleaning solution isn’t a threat to public safety.”

Me: “Please do.” *click*

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