(I happened to be on call-quality monitoring when one of my coworkers got this call.)
Coworker: “Thank you for calling **** Gifts, my name is ****. How can I help you?”
Caller: *with a thick accent* “Do you have anyone there that speaks Spanish?”
Coworker: “No, I’m afraid we do not. Is there anything I can do for you, ma’am?”
Caller: “Where is my check?”
Coworker: “…your check?”
Caller: “Yes, where is my check?”
Coworker: “Ma’am, I don’t think I follow–”
Caller: “Where is my child support check?”
Coworker: “Ma’am, we sell candies and cookies. We don’t have your check.”
Caller: “WHY NOT?!”
Coworker: “…Because we’re a gift-ordering service. We don’t handle child support checks.”
Caller: “Well, can you give me the number to the child support check people?”
Coworker: “Ma’am, I don’t know what that number is. We aren’t connected with them in any way.”
Caller: “WHY NOT?!”
Coworker: “…”
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1,558 Thumbs Up!)
(I was helping a customer sign into their email.)
Me: “Okay, I need you to type ‘A’ as in ‘Apple’.”
Customer: “Now, don’t get all technical on me!”
Related:
It’s Gonna Be A Long Call, Part 3
It’s Gonna Be A Long Call, Part 2
It’s Gonna Be A Long Call
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1,418 Thumbs Up!)
Customer: “Come here! I’m going to bite your nipples off!”
Me: “…”
Customer: “Aww…I’m sorry. Listen, come by my office and I’ll give you a free massage.” *gives me his business card*
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1,607 Thumbs Up!)
Customer: “Do you guys have an ATM machine here?”
Me: “Er, no, sorry.”
Customer: “I see one right there!”
Me: “Um … that’s a telephone booth, sir.”
Customer: *squinting and walking toward it* “No, it’s an ATM.”
Me: “No. No it’s not. It’s definitely a telephone booth.”
Customer: “Oh. Well…there’s one beside it!”
Me: “That is a freezer, sir. We store ice in it to sell to campers for their coolers.”
Customer: “Why does it say ‘ice’ on it? What kind of ATM says ‘ice’?” *opening the ice box* “It’s an ice box.”
Me: ” …”
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3,107 Thumbs Up!)
(I work at an incoming call center for a well known adult website. Most of our calls deal with technical problems or issues with logging-in to the sites. Most of them, anyway….)
Caller: “Good afternoon, sir. I’m having some issues here.”
Me: “That’s what we’re here for! What can I do to help?”
Caller: “Well, I’m sitting here looking at all these beautiful women and, well, I just can’t seem to get an erection.”
Me: “Sir…that is NOT something that I can help you with!”
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2,981 Thumbs Up!)
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