Fast Food | Englewood, FL, USA
Customer: “Yes, do your combo meals come with a Coke?”
Me: “Yes ma’am, they come with fries and a drink.”
Customer: “But what if I wanted something other than Coke?”
Me: “Well, you fill your drink yourself around the corner over there, so you can get whatever you want.”
Customer: “Oh, okay.” *customer places order*
Me: *sets out tray with receipt on top*
Customer: *looks at receipt, suddenly frowns* “Hey, it says ‘Coke’ on here for a drink. I didn’t order a Coke!”
Me: “That just means you ordered a drink.”
Customer: “But I didn’t want a Coke!”
Me: “That’s fine, ma’am. You can put whatever you’d like in your drink at the drink machines back there.”
Customer: “BUT IT SAYS COKE ON THE RECEIPT!”
Me: “All of the soft drinks are the same prices. It doesn’t matter what it says on the receipt.”
Customer: “Oh…” *leaves with her cup and fills her drink*
Coworkers: *laugh for the next ten minutes*
Movie Theater | Greensburg, PA, USA
(It is a known fact that when you go into the Carmike movie theater, you cannot have extra bags or cups, because that is how the theater makes their money. You can bring empty cups with you, but we cannot provide you with them. One night, a guy was not having it.)
Me: “Nope, I’m sorry. I can’t give you an extra bag.”
Customer: “Why the hell not?”"
Me: “Because each bag is accounted for through our inventory, and if I give you one, it will be messed up.”
Customer: “Then how am I supposed to share with my son?”
Me: “Pay the 35 cents more and upgrade.”
(I finish giving him his order, and then turn around to clean up some of the mess. The customer suddenly reaches behind the counter, grabs another bag and takes off.)
Me: “Oh, HELL no!” *chases customer down with a team of gangsta ushers*
(We surround the customer, as all the ushers have their arms folded and are staring him down.)
Usher 1: “You gonna give her that bag back?”
Customer: “THIS IS RIDICULOUS!”
Usher 2: “Then don’t come here if you can’t follow our rules.”
*security guards escort him out*
Bar | Milwaukee, WI, USA
Random Customer at a bar #1: “Why do you always have to be so self defecating?”
Random Customer at a bar #2: “I see that you read a lot. I read a lot, too. I just finished Brave New World by Adolphus Huxley.”
Random Customer at a bar #3: “Yeah, it’s crazy, they can go to the bottom of the Marinara Trench.”
Related:
There Once Was A Man From Nantucket
Bakery | Pennsylvania, USA
(I was traying up baked goods one Friday night, and around 8 o’clock a middle aged woman walks up to the counter.)
Woman: “Hello, excuse me?”
Me: “Yes? Do you need help with anything?”
Woman: “Yes, I’d like to know if you have baked bread on Sundays?”
Me: “Yes…this is a bakery. We have fresh bread everyday.”
Woman: “I know! I was just wondering if it was fresh on Sundays! I don’t want to come in and buy stale bread. I bought a stale loaf one time and it was disgusting!”
Me: “Well, yes, we do. We don’t sell stale bread, ma’am, or we would get in trouble.”
Woman: “Okay, I was just making sure! If there was stale bread I would’ve been angry!”
Me: “Well we actually can’t sell stale bread…it’s a health code issue…”
Woman: “Well, GOOD! I’m glad you’re finally doing your job.”
Me: “…”
(The woman storms off.)
Fast Food | San Diego, CA, USA
(Customer has pulled up the the drive-thru after ordering a coffee.)
Customer: “Can you add the cream and sugar for me?”
Me: “It’s against policy to do that to prevent contamination.”
Customer: “Well, what if I had no arms?”
Me: *dumb founded*
Customer: “If I spill the cream as I’m adding it while driving, I’m going to sue you!”
Me: “Sir, you’re in a parking lot. You can pull over.”
*customer speeds off*
Manager: “If he didn’t have arms, how would he be driving?!”
Toy Store | Belgium
Customer: “Hi, I’d like a Playboy for my son.”
Me: “…excuse me?”
Customer: “You know, a Playboy to play with.”
Me: *trying very hard not to laugh* “You mean a Gameboy?”
Customer: “Yeah that!”
Customer: *realizes what she said* “OH!”
Fast Food | Midwest USA
Customer at a drive-through: “Do you have orange juice, not an orange drink?”
Me: “Yes, we have orange juice.”
Customer: “I asked if you have orange juice, not an orange drink!”
Me: “And I said we do have orange juice…”
Customer, yelling: “Why don’t you answer my question!”
Me: “I did…twice…”
Customer: “F**k you! I don’t need to take this!”
Me: “Oooookay then…”
Retail | Toronto, ON, Canada
(A customer is sitting in front of a display, reading a book.)
Coworker: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but you can’t sit in front of our displays.”
Customer: “I have to sit here because the customers over there are sending me bad energy.”
Coworker: “Uh, okay…”
(Coworker walks over to me.)
Coworker: “Your turn.”
Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but you can’t sit in front of our displays.”
Customer: “I’m not low class you know!”
(I walk away stunned. After awhile, the customer finally gets up and walks toward the cashier.)
Customer: “I have a complaint about two of your staff members. They called me low class. I’m not low class–I’m almost forty!”
Restaurant | Portsmouth, UK
Me: “Hi, how can I help?”
Lady: “Yes I’d like a hamburger please…”
Me: “Okay.”
Lady: “…with cheese on.”
Me: “Okay, so you would like a cheeseburger then?”
Lady: “No, I’d like a hamburger with cheese on.”
Me: “Yes, that would in fact be a cheeseburger.”
Lady: “But it says on your menu that you do hamburgers.”
Me: “Yes, we do, but you asked for cheese on it, so that is a cheeseburger.”
Lady: *getting angry now* “Look, I just want a hamburger with cheese on!”
Me: *calls over my shoulder* “One hamburger with cheese!”
(Sound of giggling in the back.)
Bookstore | Toronto, ON, USA
(As a result of the US/Canadian currency parity, a lot of customers have been angry that they have to pay the Canadian price instead of the cheaper US price.)
Customer: “Which price do I have to pay: the American or Canadian?”
Co-worker: “I’m afraid you have to pay the Canadian price.”
Customer: *angrily* “Why?”
Co-worker: “Quite simply, we buy from Canadian publishers with Canadian money. Also, that book was bought before the price parity, therefore, to sell at the American price would mean that we would not be making any money.”
Customer: “Well, I want you to explain to my 7 year old daughter why she’s not getting this book for Christmas.”
Me: “…because your dad is a cheapskate.”
(156 Thumbs Up!)
