Customer: “I just locked my key in my car in front of the shop.”
Me: *I pick up some stuff* “Not a problem. I’ll pop it open for $5.00.”
Customer: “What are you going to do with that stuff?”
Me: “Open your car.”
Customer: “It’s a brand new Mercedes. I just drove it here from the dealer—you can’t touch it!”
Me: “Then how do I open it?”
Customer: “That’s your problem.”
Me: “Actually it’s not; I didn’t lock the key in your car.”
Customer: “You have to open it.”
Me: “Watch me not open it.”
Customer: “Okay, then, but if you make any scratch or mark at all then you will have to pay Mercedes to repaint the whole car. That will cost thousands.”
Me: “So, If I’m successful I get $5.00, but if I make the smallest error it will cost me thousands of dollars?”
Customer: “Yes.”
Me: “Your car might just be there forever.”
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(I work at a bookstore; this happens almost daily)
Customer: “Excuse me, where is your gardening section?”
Me: “Over there.”
Customer: “I mean gardening BOOKS.”
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1,143 Thumbs Up!)
Customer: “Hi, I have my car down the loading dock and I’m parked where it says to park, but there’s no button to call your store or anything down there.”
Me: “No, there’s not because the elevator is shared with 3 levels of stores; we don’t own it, the mall does. So you have to call us when you’re there.”
Customer: “How do I call? There’s no button.”
Me: “With your cellphone…”
Customer: “Oh pfft, I never bring a cellphone with me.”
Me: “But didn’t you just call? How did you call earlier?”
Customer: “With a cellphone!” *looking at me like I’m stupid*
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1,439 Thumbs Up!)
Hotel | Seattle, WA, USA |
Pregnant Customer: “I want to be reimbursed because I did not get a ground floor unit, because I was promised one when I booked the reservation due to the fact that I’m pregnant.”
Agent: “But ma’am, you booked this reservation eleven months in advance.”
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1,718 Thumbs Up!)
Customer: “Are you out of Shrek the Third?”
Me: “Yes, everything I have is out on the shelves.”
Customer: “Oh.”
(Customer goes back into rest of store, comes back to front.)
Customer: “There’s a copy out there that says ‘FOR SALE ONLY’.”
Me: “Mmhm, there sure is.”
Customer: “Can we rent that?”
Related:
On The Futility Of Signs
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1,051 Thumbs Up!)
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