(At a library, completely surrounded by books…)
Me: “Hi, how can I help?”
College Student: “Where are the books that you can, like, read?”
Me: “…”
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(On Black Friday in my videogame store around 2007… when EVERYTHING is on sale.)
Customer: “Excuse me, sir?”
Me: “Hey, can I help you find something?”
Customer: “Hi. I’d like to know what’s on sale today.”
Me: “Well, it depends on what system. You see, the DS only has three games on sale, while the Xbox has about ten. Not to mention, almost every console is running some sort of deal.”
Customer: “No, I meant the secret sales.”
Me: “What do you mean?”
Customer: “The stuff in the catalog.”
Me: “Oh, that’s all posted.”
Customer: *suddenly angry* “It better not be!”
Me: “Why not?”
Customer: “Because I looked online for those sales.”
Me: “What’s your point?”
Customer: “Because I wouldn’t have done that if I’d known it was public!”
Me: “The point of a sale is to make it public.”
Customer: “GET ME YOUR MANAGER, YOU A**HOLE!”
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Me: “Is she your biological child?”
Customer: “No, no, she’s natural. No scientific stuff.”
(I work at a bookstore. Tthis happens almost daily)
Customer: “Excuse me, where is your gardening section?”
Me: “Over there.”
Customer: “I mean gardening BOOKS.”
Customer: “Hi, I have my car down the loading dock and I’m parked where it says to park, but there’s no button to call your store or anything down there.”
Me: “No, there’s not because the elevator is shared with three levels of stores. We don’t own it; the mall does. You have to call us when you’re there.”
Customer: “How do I call? There’s no button.”
Me: “With your cellphone…”
Customer: “Oh, pfft, I never bring a cellphone with me.”
Me: “But didn’t you just call? How did you call earlier?”
Customer: “With a cellphone!” *looking at me like I’m stupid*
