Customer: “I’m on my way to the kennels and my cat here needs an injection to get in.”

Me: “Well, you need an appointment for that. We’re fully booked until tomorrow afternoon.”

Customer: “If you’re going to be so difficult, I’ll take my cat elsewhere and get it put down!”

Me, checking a customer’s network connection: “…so you double-click with the left button of your mouse on the Local Area Connection icon.”

Customer: “What? Double-kick?”

Me: “No, double-click; I mean you click twice, consecutively with the left button of your mouse on the Local Area Connection icon.”

Customer: “Double-kick?”

Me: “Yes, double-kick your monitor.”

(At an ice cream shop)

Me: “Would you like any mix-ins with that?”

Older woman: “Yes, I would like almonds. But not too many, because I’m allergic, and if I have too many I will die.”

Me: “…”

Employee: *making out a rain check* “Okay, so I’m just going to look on the computer and check if any other locations have this item.”

Nice customer: “Okay, thanks.”

Angry customer: “Stop f***ing socializing and do your g**d*** job!”

Employee: “Sir, please don’t be abusive, I’m just checking our other loc-”

Angry customer: “I don’t care! DO YOUR JOB!”

(At this point, the angry customer moves toward the counter in a very threatening way. The customer behind HIM, a super-fit guy in a UFC jacket, steps in. Mr. UFC grabs the angry customer in a CHOKE HOLD and drags him outside, followed quickly by management, and to the applause of the staff and customers inside the store.)

(The angry customer was banned from the store and Mr. UFC got a gift card.)

(I’m standing right in front of about ten racks of toys and a giant sign that says “Toy Shop.”)

Customer: “Do you carry toys?”

Me: *turns, looks up at the sign* “Nope.”

(Customer walks off to continue her search.)

Related:
Today, All My Questions Shall Be Stupid
Ask A Stupid Question …