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    Archive for 2007

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    Thank God They Didn’t Watch Total Recall

    | Philadelphia, PA | Top

    Customer: “Do you have that book from that movie Les Miserababah?”

    Me:Les Miserables? Yes it would be on the 3rd floor.”

    Customer: “What section would it be in?”

    Me: “The fiction section.”

    Customer: “So nonfiction is true, and fiction is not true, right?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Customer: “How can this book be fiction if there is a movie about it?”

    Me: “Movies are not true.”

    Customer: “Really?”

    Me: “Yes. Movies are not true, movies are fiction.”

    Source

    Gone, As In Mentally

    | Virginia, USA |

    Lady: “Yeah I just got back so I missed the big rain storm.”

    Me: “Well it wasn’t too bad, where did you go? Out of town?”

    Lady: “What?”

    Me: “You got back from somewhere, where did you go?”

    Lady: “I haven’t been anywhere.”

    Me: “So you were here for the rainstorm?”

    Lady: “No, I was gone.”

    One Track Minds And Earwax Don’t Mix

    , | Beverly, MA |

    Me: “What size?”

    Lady: “Electric Lime.”

    Me: “What size?”

    Lady: “Electric Lime.”

    Me: “That’s a color miss. What size did you want the harness in?”

    Lady: “What do you mean, ‘What size?’”

    Me: “How many inches is it?”

    Lady: “Oh I didn’t even think about the size.”

    *grimace*

    Welcome to People’s Pizza, Comrade

    , | USA | Top

    Old man: “Well, I’d like 3 slices, all meat and a Coke.”

    Me: “Is Pepsi okay? We don’t serve Coke anymore.”

    Old man: “WHAT?!?!?!?!? YOU DON’T SERVE COKE? ANYMORE? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?”

    Me: “Well, we used to sell both brands. It was just far too expensive to keep both stocked when most people aren’t devastated by not having Coke.”

    Old man: “THAT’S ABSURD! WHO DOESN’T SELL COKE! THAT’S INSANITY!”

    Me: (at this point, I’m egging him on and holding back laughter) “Well…you can go next door. The convenience store probably sells Coke, but I can’t guarantee it.”

    Old man: “That’s what I’ll do! You won’t get my $0.75!”

    Me: “Umm…okay. I’ll have your pizza in just a minute.”

    His wife: “Don’t mind him. He’s crazy.”

    Old man: “Shut it! What kind of a day and age is it when you don’t sell Coke? It’s just plain un-American.”

    Me: “…you know Coke cans are red. Like communism. ”

    Source

    “Blurgh!?” Is Right

    , | USA | Top

    Customer in an ice cream shop: “Wait, your mint ice cream is white?”

    Me: “That’s right. We don’t use artificial colors in our ice cream.”

    Customer: “So shouldn’t your Orange Cream ice cream be green, since oranges are green?”

    Me: “Blurgh!?”

    Source

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