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    Archive for 2007

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    Damaged Goods, And We’re Not Talking Groceries

    | Framingham, MA |

    (A coworker is bagging groceries as I ring them up)

    Customer, to my bagger: “Wait! Don’t pack them like that! Honestly, it’s as if no one understands how to pack bags anymore!”

    Coworker, looking down at a loaf of bread on top of some grapefruits in a paper bag: “How do you want them packed?”

    Customer: “Clearly the bread needs to go on the bottom! I don’t want the grapefruits to get damaged; they’re fragile!”

    Act Like A Kid, Get Treated Like One

    , | Massachusetts, USA |

    Me: “Welcome to Lickety Splits. What can I get you?”

    Customer: “I’d like a twist on a sugar cone.”

    Me: “I’m sorry we can only put soft serve on a wafer cone. Is that all right?”

    Customer: “Yeah that’s fine.”

    (She pays, and I give her the ice cream)

    Customer: “What is this?!”

    Me: “Your order, ma’am.”

    Customer: “I ordered a sugar cone!” *throws her ice cream on the floor* “I demand my money back!”

    Me: “If you want another ice cream I’ll give you one for free, just as long as you don’t throw another tantrum.”

    Customer: *strangely calm* “Thank you.”

    That’s Nothing A Little Duct Tape Can’t Fix

    , , | Unknown Location |

    Customer: “I want a computer where I can type in Russian and it will print in English.”

    Me: “Sir, I’m afraid we don’t have Russian keyboards.”

    Customer: “No, that’s fine. I’ll just tape Russian letters on.”

    Me: “Sir, it will still be an English keyboard.”

    Customer: “Okay, so what if I glue the letters on?”

    Me: *thunk thunk thunk* “Still English.”

    Oh Give Me a Home, Where The Jackalopes Roam

    | USA |

    Little boy: “What are those?”

    Zookeeper: “That’s a Cavy.”

    (Note: Cavies are another name for guinea pigs.)

    Little boy’s father: “No they’re not. They’re Jack-a-lopes. But I don’t see any antlers, so they must all be does.”

    Actually, You Look More Like A C-Cup

    | Minnesota, USA |

    Customer Looking at Batteries: “My friend asked me to pick her up some D batteries, but I’m not sure which ones to get.”

    (Customer holds up a package with 10 D batteries in it and a package with 12 D batteries in it)

    Customer: “What’s the difference between 10D and 12D? I don’t want to get the wrong ones.”

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