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Archive for 2007

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Damaged Goods, And We’re Not Talking Groceries

| Framingham, MA | Uncategorized

(A coworker is bagging groceries as I ring them up)

Customer, to my bagger: “Wait! Don’t pack them like that! Honestly, it’s as if no one understands how to pack bags anymore!”

Coworker, looking down at a loaf of bread on top of some grapefruits in a paper bag: “How do you want them packed?”

Customer: “Clearly the bread needs to go on the bottom! I don’t want the grapefruits to get damaged; they’re fragile!”

Act Like A Kid, Get Treated Like One

, | Massachusetts, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Welcome to Lickety Splits. What can I get you?”

Customer: “I’d like a twist on a sugar cone.”

Me: “I’m sorry we can only put soft serve on a wafer cone. Is that all right?”

Customer: “Yeah that’s fine.”

(She pays, and I give her the ice cream)

Customer: “What is this?!”

Me: “Your order, ma’am.”

Customer: “I ordered a sugar cone!” *throws her ice cream on the floor* “I demand my money back!”

Me: “If you want another ice cream I’ll give you one for free, just as long as you don’t throw another tantrum.”

Customer: *strangely calm* “Thank you.”

That’s Nothing A Little Duct Tape Can’t Fix

, , | Unknown Location | Uncategorized

Customer: “I want a computer where I can type in Russian and it will print in English.”

Me: “Sir, I’m afraid we don’t have Russian keyboards.”

Customer: “No, that’s fine. I’ll just tape Russian letters on.”

Me: “Sir, it will still be an English keyboard.”

Customer: “Okay, so what if I glue the letters on?”

Me: *thunk thunk thunk* “Still English.”

Oh Give Me a Home, Where The Jackalopes Roam

| USA | Uncategorized

Little boy: “What are those?”

Zookeeper: “That’s a Cavy.”

(Note: Cavies are another name for guinea pigs.)

Little boy’s father: “No they’re not. They’re Jack-a-lopes. But I don’t see any antlers, so they must all be does.”

Actually, You Look More Like A C-Cup

| Minnesota, USA | Uncategorized

Customer Looking at Batteries: “My friend asked me to pick her up some D batteries, but I’m not sure which ones to get.”

(Customer holds up a package with 10 D batteries in it and a package with 12 D batteries in it)

Customer: “What’s the difference between 10D and 12D? I don’t want to get the wrong ones.”

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