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    Archive for 2007

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    The Employee Is Always Wrong

    | Costa Mesa, CA, USA |

    Customer: “Excuse me, how much is this?”

    Me: “$99.00.”

    Customer: “But I get 20% off right?”

    Me: “Yes, with the coupon you do.”

    Customer: “Okay, so how much would that be?”

    Me: “Uhm… about $80.”

    Customer: “Really? Are you sure? Do the math again!”

    Me: “Okay, well technically it’s $79.20, but with tax it’ll bring you well over $80.”

    Customer: “That can’t be right. 20% off of $100 isn’t $80! Are you sure? Can I talk to a manager??”

    (Customer goes to speak to manager, and realizes that she’s the one who’s wrong when they do it at the cash register. She then leaves (after buying everything) and comes by to me)

    Customer: “You’re still wrong. It came out to be $79.20 before tax.”

    Me: *sigh*

    Well, That Came Out Of Nowhere

    , | California, USA | Top

    (Two middle-aged women walk into the store)

    Woman 1: “I need a guitar stand for my son.”

    Me: “Let me go grab one for you.”

    (I go into the back for a minute and return with the stand)

    Me: “They’re $18.95 plus tax.”

    Woman 2: “You’re an animal.”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Woman 2: “You’re an animal. It’s a good thing.”

    Me: “Alright then.”

    Woman 2 (to Woman 1): “I don’t know why people always get confused when I tell them that…”

    A Lost Cause

    | USA | Top

    (I have a friend that works at a home improvement store; one day, a woman comes in looking for a generator)

    Customer: “What does it mean when it says seven gallon tank?”

    Employee: “Uh, it means it can hold seven gallons of gas.”

    Customer: “Gas? Why would it need gas?”

    Employee: “It’s a generator. How else would it produce electricity?”

    Customer: “I thought you just plugged it in.”

    Source

    The Return Of Captain Obvious

    , | Florida, USA | Top

    Customer in an ice cream shop: “What’s in the Chocolate Caramel Cashew?”

    Me: “There’s really no way for me to answer that without sounding like a smarta**.”

    Customer: “Why? What’s in it?”

    Me: “It’s chocolate ice cream … with caramel … and cashews.”

    Related:
    Captain Obvious To The Rescue
    Belaboring The Obvious

    Time To Call The Plumber

    | Tel Aviv, Israel | Technology, Top

    Me: “Internet helpdesk, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “I can’t connect to the internet.”

    Me: “How long has it been since you last connected?”

    Customer: “I was connected until a few minutes ago.”

    Me: “Have you changed anything in your network?”

    Customer: “Well, I was downloading some movies over the net, but the download got too slow. I called a friend of mine and he told me that some movies could’ve gotten stuck in the cable. So I cut the cable to see if I could yank it out of there. I didn’t find anything, so I taped the cable back together. Now, can you get it back to work?”

    Me: *grimace*

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