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    Archive for 2007

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    Miss Impossible

    | New Jersey, USA |

    (Two days before Thanksgiving, people are picking up their orders of turkeys. One customer placed an order late, for a 20 lb. fresh Butterball. We didn’t get many of those, so I reserved a 20 lb. fresh “other” turkey.)

    Me: “Well, I do have a previously frozen Butterball that a customer changed their mind on. It’s pretty much thawed out, you could have that.”

    Customer: “No, my mother won’t eat frozen turkey.”

    Me: “Well, then take the fresh one.”

    Customer: “My mother only eats Butterball.”

    Me: “This is a Butterball, and since you have to thaw it anyway to cook it, why not take the Butterball?”

    Customer: “She won’t eat frozen turkeys.”

    Me: “We still have small fresh Butterballs, why not take two of them?”

    Customer: “No, my mother is making a turkey too, and I don’t want to have three of them.”

    Me: *exasperated*

    Genres Are For Weaklings

    | Pennsylvania, USA | Top

    Customer: “What movie just came out on video that’s like Lord of the Rings?”

    Me: “I’m not sure, we haven’t gotten any big titles this week and definitely nothing that’s like Lord of the Rings…”

    Customer: “Well, I saw a commercial that said, ‘Now available at your local *** Video’…and this is my local *** video.”

    Me: “Hmmm, let me check with another manager.” (I call up to the office)

    Me (to manager): “What came out this week besides Jeepers Creeper?”

    Customer:JEEPERS CREEPERS! That’s it!”

    Me: “We have that, but it’s nothing like Lord of the Rings.”

    Customer: “Yeah it has monsters in it, it’s like Lord of the Rings.” *customer walks away*

    Another employee: “You should tell him to rent The English Patient too. It has talking in it, so it’s like Lord of the Rings.”

    Awesome Customers Do Exist

    | USA |

    (8:55 pm: I’m guarding the door at work, waiting for the last couple of customers to finish up and get the heck out. They are going kinda slow, but I can’t kick them out because they were in the store before we close.

    9:05 pm: They finally got what movies they wanted and are just about to pay when another guy tries to come in)

    Late Customer: “Hold on please! I just need to get one thing!”

    Me: “Sorry sir, it’s past 9pm. These are the last customers for the night.”

    Late Customer: “But all I want to get is a PS2. Why can’t you get it for me?”

    Me: “Because you came in after 9, we want to close up.”

    Late Customer: “But they are getting stuff.”

    Me: “They were in here before 9.”

    Late Customer: “So you aren’t gonna help me? I wanna speak to your manager! Are you the manager?”

    (This is the fun part, one of the women buying stuff chimes in)

    Woman Customer: “Yeah, I’m the manager and we need to get the heck out of here to go home! You should have gotten here earlier!”

    Late Customer: *Flabbergasted* “Wha? Well… YOU LOST A SALE!” *storms out*

    Manager (the real one): “…Wow. Thank you very much!”

    Me: “Ditto! Thanks a lot and have a wonderful night!”

    Source

    It Happens More Often Than You Think

    | California, USA |

    (Me loading lumber on a rack)

    Customer: “Excuse me. Where is your Lumber Department?”

    The Surer They Are, The Stupider They Get

    , | Lagoon, UT, USA |

    (I work in a burger stand)

    Me: “Welcome, what can I get for you?”

    Lady: “I would like a cheeseburger with no cheese.”

    Me: “Umm…would you just like a hamburger?”

    Lady: “No. I would like specifically a cheeseburger with no cheese.”

    Me: “Are you sure? A cheeseburger is 25 cents more than a hamburger.”

    Lady: “Yes, I’m sure.”

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