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    Archive for 2007

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    Not Just Any Warm Crunchy Bread, Mind You

    | Houston, TX, USA | Top

    Me: “So, what can I get you?”

    Hobo: “I’m pretty hungry so I guess I’ll have…” *stares at menu*

    Me, 3 minutes later: “I’ll come ba-”

    Hobo: “I want some toast!”

    Me: “Okay, toast is all, I’ll be right back.”

    Hobo: “Yeah, that’s what I want…french toast.”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Hobo: “I want some french toast. How much does that cost?”

    Me: “Sorry, sir, we don’t have french toast.”

    Hobo: “Then what do you have?”

    Me: “Um…toast?”

    Hobo: “Toast? What’s that?”

    *long pause*

    Me: “Warm crunchy bread, sir.”

    Hobo: “Yeah, bring me some white, warm crunchy bread!”

    The Patience Of A Saint, But Not The Brains

    | Canada | Uncategorized

    (Setting: Gas station, Saturday, 11 pm)

    Customer: “Is Sunday’s paper out yet?”

    Me: “No sir, it’s still Saturday…”

    Customer: “Oh, what time do they normally come in?”

    Me: “Around 4 am but sometimes as late as 5 am.”

    Customer: “Oh okay, I guess I’ll wait.”

    (Customer proceeds to wait in the store for 5 hours for the paper to be delivered…)


    This One Needs The “Three Hour Tour”

    Toronto, Canada | Uncategorized

    Customer: “How long is the one hour tour?”

    Me: “60 Minutes.”

    Customer: “Where does the harbour tour go?”

    Me: “Around the harbour.”

    Overlord PX53A-Z Is Not Pleased

    | West Virginia, USA | Top

    (A woman gets frustrated after I switch out for a co-worker to go on break on Black Friday)

    Woman Customer: “Ugh! That is so frustrating! Why didn’t she wait to leave until I was finished?”

    Me: “Ma’am, she’s been here since 3:45 this morning, and she needed a break. Plus, we’re not robots.”

    Woman Customer: “Good. I hate robots.”

    Maybe If You Click Your Heels Three Times

    | Kansas, USA | Uncategorized

    Me: “Welcome to the Award Winning XXXXXX, How may I help you?”

    Potential Guest on the Phone: “I would like a room.”

    Me: “And when would you be arriving sir?”

    Guest: “Huh?”

    Me: “When do you want the room?”

    Guest: “Oh! Tonight…”

    Me: “I’m sorry sir, but we are completely booked tonight, would you like me to provide the number of a nearby establishment?”

    Guest: “You got no rooms? Can’t you just give me one of the emergency rooms?”

    Me: “I’m sorry sir, we don’t have any rooms like that, we sell our rooms until we are out. We don’t keep any rooms for ‘emergencies.'”

    Guest: “Oh, you have suites too don’t you?”

    Me: “Yes, we do, but we are completely booked, so there are no rooms available, every kind.”

    Guest: “No rooms?”

    Me: “No rooms.”

    Guest: “No Suites?”

    Me: “I’m sorry sir, we have no rooms of any kind, Suite or otherwise, now unless you want to book a room for another night, I am going to have to hang up.”

    Guest: “No rooms?”


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