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    Archive for 2007

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    Belaboring The Obvious

    | Ottawa, Canada |

    Customer: “Hi, I’m looking for a book.”

    Me: “Yeah, I know. You called a bookstore.”

    July, November, It’s All The Same

    | Kansas City, MO, USA | Top

    Customer: “Where is your jewelry?”

    Me, standing behind 3 counters filled with jewelry: “Right here, ma’am.”

    Customer: “No, the jewelry on sale!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but we aren’t having a sale on jewelry this month.”

    Customer: “But I was here in July and it was on sale.”

    Me: “Yes ma’am, and now it’s November and it’s not on sale.”

    Customer: “Well can’t you give me the sale prices anyways?”

    Me: “Ummm, no.”

    BA BA BEE DA DUM DUM BAAA!

    | USA | Top

    Customer: “Yeah, my son really likes this one band that has a really popular song out right now.”

    Me: “Okay…”

    Customer: “Well, I don’t know the name of their album, their band name, or the name of the song but the tune is like this: ‘ba ba bee da dum dum baaa.’”

    Me: “…”

    Customer: *not very happy with me* “Do you have any clue what I’m talking about?”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry but we can’t really look up ‘ba ba bee da dum dum baaa’ in our computer.”

    Customer: “Don’t be a smart a** with me, missy.”

    Me: *trying not to laugh* “Ma’am, I’m not trying to be a smart a**, I’m just saying there isn’t really any way I can help you unless you have some information I can look up.”

    Customer: *yelling* “NEVER IN MY LIFE HAVE I EVER BEEN TREATED SO DISRESPECTFULLY AT SOME BULLS*** BOOK STORE! EVERY TIME I COME HERE YOU AND YOUR CO-WORKERS ACT AS IF IT’S SUCH A CHORE TO HELP CUSTOMERS!”

    Me: *trying really hard not to laugh* “Would you like me to call my manager?”

    Customer: “YES!”

    (I page my manager, which we have several but I lucked out and got the good one)

    Rad manager: *irritated because she was busy* “Is there a problem?”

    Customer: “Yes, the…”

    Rad manager: “No, I wasn’t talking to you.”

    Customer: “Well!”

    Me: “She wants me to look up a song using only the tune.”

    Rad manager: *laughs*

    Customer: *again, yelling* “IS IT SO HARD TO ASK FOR A LITTLE HELP OR DO YOU NOT OFFER THAT FOR FREE? ALL I NEED FROM YOU IS THE BAND NAME THAT SINGS THAT ONE SONG THAT GOES LIKE THIS, ‘BA BA BEE DA DUM DUM BAAA’! IT ISN’T THAT HARD TO FIGURE IT OUT!”

    Me: “So go home and figure it out and give us a call.”

    Customer: “I will never shop here again! I’m taking my business to Barnes & Noble!”

    Rad manager and I: “Okay. Bye.”

    Source

    Making Lemonade Out Of Lemons, Literally

    | Valencia, CA, USA |

    (Well, it was at a seafood restaurant, but it’s happened at other places. Servers from all over know about it)

    Me: “And what would you like to drink today?”

    Customer: “Five waters. We also need more sugar. And please bring a lot of lemons.”

    (I bring them extra lemons and more sugar, but it was not enough)

    Customer: “We gonna need a helluva lot more than that!”

    (Turns out they needed all of this to make LEMONADE at the table! Talk about cheap…)

    The Problem With Analogies

    | Eureka, CA, USA | Top

    (A customer wanders down the paint aisle I’m working on and asks for advice on which paint to use. I tell him, and he asks for the differences between brands)

    Me: “Brand A is just a bit thicker than Brand B. But other than that, they’re pretty much the same.”

    Customer: “What do you mean ‘thicker’?”

    Me: “The paint has a thicker consistency.”

    Customer: “I don’t understand.”

    Me: “Do you know what cake batter looks like? And water?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Me: “Cake batter is thicker than water, like Brand A is thicker than Brand B.”

    Customer: “Brand A is cake batter?”

    (It goes on like this for awhile. I ended up leaving him there to contemplate)

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