• Done With You
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  • August Theme Of The Month: Best. Customer. Ever!

    Da, Is Union of Soviet Socialist Retirees

    | Panama City Beach, FL, USA | Bigotry, Geography, Wild & Unruly

    (I work every summer in a beach shop in Florida. One morning a man had come in and bought a beach chair, and returned after a few hours with his family.)

    Customer: “I would like to return this chair.”

    Me: “Of course. Do you have a receipt?”

    Customer: “No, I just went to the beach. Why would I keep the receipt?”

    Me: “Is there a reason why you are returning the chair?”

    Customer: “It’s broken.”

    (The chair was soaked with water, coated with sand, and has a hole in the seat from what looks like a footprint on the cushion.)

    Me: “I am sorry sir, but we cannot accept used, broken items for return.”

    Customer: “What! I didn’t break it!”

    Me: “I am sorry sir, but without a receipt it still cannot be returned.”

    Customer: “Son of a b*tch! You hear that kids? This Russian b*tch is going to f*ck up our vacation!”

    Me: “…Russian? I live here.”

    Customer: “Don’t lie to me! I hear that accent.”

    Me: “…What accent?”

    Customer: “THERE! You just did it. No one talks like that in the Northeast.”

    Me: “…I’m a Southerner. You’re in the South.”

    Customer: “Whatever, you piece of racist sh*t!”

    (The man left only after he threw the chair at a clothes rack. Quite the job experience for a 15 year old.)