(One of my friends works part-time at the deli counter in a grocery store. At one point, a rather well-to-do looking–the word he used was “snooty”–woman and her not-too-bright looking son came up to the counter.)

Woman: “I’d like one pound of muenster cheese.”

Friend: “Very well.”

(He proceeds to slice the cheese on the slicer, and weighs it out; it’s .97 pounds. He attempts to hand it to her.)

Woman: “That’s NOT a pound of cheese.”

(Slightly perturbed, he slices another slice of cheese and places it on top of the existing pile. It is not 1.02 pounds of cheese. Again, she sighs and appears indignant.)

Woman: “Is that including the paper?”

(He then peels the slice in half and puts the half slice on the pile; it’s .99 pounds now. At this point, the woman leans over to her less-than-brilliant-looking son, and whispers, loud enough for my friend to hear:)

Woman: “This is why you go to college.”

(It should be mentioned, at this point, that my friend goes to an Ivy League school.)