Trying To A-Mews You

(I am completely head-over-heels, I-would-give-my-life-to-save-hers in love with my girlfriend, and she knows it. She’s also 16 years older than me and knows I’m insecure about being able to keep her, as she’s a catch I feel is far out of my league. This is the first time I have visited her home:)

Girlfriend: *teasingly* “Sweetie, do you love me?”

Me: *frightened* “With all my heart.”

Girlfriend: “Good, then you won’t mind if the two of us share the bed with Clarence.”

Me: *blanches and emits frightened squeak*

Girlfriend: “I think you’ll like him. Here he comes now!”

(A cat ran into the room. My heart started beating again and I reached down to pet Clarence. He and I are on great terms. And my girlfriend loves me even more because I like her cat.)