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    Customer: Impossible

    | Chicago suburbs, IL, USA |

    Old man: “I need a new phone! But I don’t want all those fancy bells and whistles on it!”

    Me: “Ok, well we have some more basic phones over–”

    Old man: “No I don’t want caller ID!”

    Me: “Hmm…well all the phones we carry have caller ID on them. It’s a pretty standard feature nowadays.”

    Old man: “Yeah but I don’t have that service, so I’d just be wasting my money on a feature I don’t use!”

    (This sort of this goes on for about 10 minutes. At one point another customer enters the aisle doing her own shopping. He looks over my shoulder and yells to her “Go find someone else! He’s helping me right now!”)

    (Finally he decides on a phone…)

    Old man: “Does this one have a wall mount?”

    Me: “Yes sir, it’s wall mountable.”

    Old man: “Show me!”

    Me: “We can’t really open product-”

    Old man: “No, show me!”

    (I think, “Screw it,” and open the box and take everything out to show him)

    Me: “See? Wall mounts.”

    Old man: “Ok fine, I’ll take it.”

    (I spend 10 minutes trying to get the freaking phone back in the box exactly how it was packaged, which is a lot harder than it sounds.)

    Me: “Ok…here you go.”

    Old man: “No, I don’t want that one, it’s been opened!”

    (I nearly beat him to death with his cane.)