Me: “Hello and thank you for calling [company]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “I need a loan. What do I need to do?”

(I take her information over the phone and tell her I would give her a call back after I review it with any questions that I had. The customer calls back 10 minutes later.)

Me: “I’m sorry Ms. ***. I have not been able to completely finish, but so far it looks like we would not be able to proceed with the loan.”

Customer: “Why the h*** not?”

Me: “From what it looks like, there are quite a few collections from [adult subscriptions] and [porn site subscriptions] that are dropping your score.”

Customer: “That cannot be! I would know if I had wanted things like that!”

Me: “From your application, I notice that you also have a teenage son that lives with you.”

Customer: “D***! I knew that it was too good of him to get the mail for me!” *click*

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