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    Crashed Diet

    | New York, NY, USA | Top

    (A well-dressed woman and her teenage daughter are out to lunch at one of my tables. I have already brought them their drinks.)

    Customer: *waving me over* “Miss! I asked for a diet soda.”

    Me: “Oh, I’m so sorry. I must have picked up another server’s order by mistake. Let me get you a new one.”

    (I fill a diet soda myself and deliver it. Before even tasting it, she speaks up.)

    Customer: “No! This isn’t diet soda! I’m on a very strict diet and I can’t have carbs!”

    Me: “I filled it myself. I assure you that it is diet.”

    Customer: *poking the drink with a straw* “Then what are these? I can see the carbs everywhere!”

    Me: “You can see the carbs, Ma’am?”

    Customer: “Yes! Are you blind? Can’t you see the bubbles?”

    Customer’s teenage daughter: “Oh my God, mom! ‘Carbs’ mean carbohydrates, not carbonation!”