Battle Of The Brides

(We and my wife’s work friends seem to all be getting married in the same year. It isn’t long until her boss is bragging about how much each item costs, and putting others down behind their back. With the stress of planning weddings, it is getting on everyone’s nerves. Even so, most of the weddings go by and we enjoy them all. We finally get to her boss’s wedding. The food is inedible, the venue cramped, we are all forced to wait around for hours in the heat, not helped by the warm drinks, the guests loud and disruptive. Everyone smiles, but it is clear that the day is a mess. Even though she has been a massive pain, we all feel sorry for her. A few months later the last wedding happens. We are sitting down drinking and chatting.)

Manager: “Hmm, I don’t like the food much. Who had the best food?”

Wife’s Coworker #1: “Oh, do you remember [Wife]’s and [My Name]’s food?”

Wife’s Coworker #2: “Yeah, that was amazing. I could eat that again!”

Manager: “Yeah, it was all right, but mine was the best venue.”

Wife’s Coworker #2: “[My Name]’s and [Wife]’s was really sweet and there was so much room for the kids.”

Wife’s Coworker #3: “Oh, and I really liked your decorations as well. The sweets were a really nice touch. Did you say that it meant a lot to you?”

Wife: “We are friends of the owners and I used to work there.”

Manager: “Our venue meant a lot as well; [Husband]’s aunt was married there.”

Wife’s Coworker #1: “Oh, we had so much fun at your wedding, [Wife]. That was the first time—”

Manager: “—Well, I liked our wedding cars the best.”

Me: “Oh, I didn’t see them; what were they?”

Manager: *proudly* “A Rolls Royce!”

Wife’s Coworker #3: “Didn’t you say that the company burnt down?”

Wife: “A month after we had our wedding; such a shame.”

(Her manager sulked for an hour before making a reason up to leave. Everyone had a good laugh about how self-centred she was being, especially as no-one moaned about her day.)