Customer: “I need a book on cloning.”

Me: “Okay…would you like a book on the ethics of cloning, or maybe the history of it?”

Customer: “No, I need a how-to book on cloning animals.”

Me: “Um…cloning is a pretty complicated process. You’ll need several years of college education to be able to clone an animal.”

Customer: “No you don’t! That’s just what we’ve been told! I read about it, and you can do it with a turkey baster in your kitchen!”

Me: “I think you’re thinking of artificial insemination…”

Customer: “NO I’M NOT! I NEED TO CLONE MY DOG!”

Me: “…”

Customer: “I have a boy dog, and I love him very much, but he’s a bad dog. I heard that girl dogs are much nicer, so I want to clone my dog and make a girl dog! STOP HIDING THE BOOKS FROM ME!!!”

Me: *points to back corner* “Our science section is that way. Go knock yourself out.”

Next Customer In Line: “How the h*** did you just keep your cool through that?”