• Retract The Tract
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  • July Theme Of The Month: Great Timing!

    Contextual Innuendos

    | Salt Lake City, UT, USA | Rude & Risque

    (I’m at work on a Saturday with a clerk and a pharmacist. I notice the clerk speaking with an elderly woman out front but don’t think much of it. A few minutes later, the clerk comes back with a strange expression on her face and tells me I have to go help the woman.)

    Me: “What can I help you with?”

    Customer: “I’m looking for a vibrator.”

    Me: “A…vibrator?”

    Customer: “Yes. I had one, but I used it too much and it wore out.”

    Me: “I don’t think we have anything like that. Where did you buy the first one?”

    Customer: “At another pharmacy, but I want one with a long handle so it can reach better.”

    (At this point I’m biting the inside of my cheek in an effort not to laugh.)

    Me: “What kind of vibrator are you looking for, exactly?”

    Customer: “You know! One of those that rub your feet!”

    Me: “OH! Sorry, we don’t have anything like that.”