(I’m scanning through a customer’s purchases when a pack of socks flies onto the desk from nowhere. My customer, who is a woman, exchanges waves with who I assume is her husband.)

Me: “He’s got a dangerous throw on him, doesn’t he?”

Customer: *to her husband* “Hear that? She says you’re dangerous!” *to me* “You can hit him if you want.”

Me: “Um, I’m not allowed to hit customers.”

Customer: “Don’t worry, I won’t tell!”