Communicated Your Way Out Of That One

(I’m about six-months pregnant and browsing the infants’ section of a department store. Another customer notices me and starts a conversation. At first it was fairly simple, when are you due, boy or girl, etc., then she starts to get personal.)

Woman: “Do you have a delivery coach?”

Me: “Um… my husband will be there with me.”

Woman: “Oh, no, that’s not good. You need a real delivery coach.”

Me: “I really don’t think I need that.”

Woman: “Oh, but you do.”

Me: “I’m sure I don’t need one.”

(The conversation goes on for about a minute or two like this with her getting increasingly pushy.)

Woman: *handing me a business card* “I’m a certified midwife and also teach others. I could have one of my students act as doula for you.”

(At this point I’m getting really annoyed with her pushiness and decide to try a different tactic.)

Me: “Thanks for your concern, but I’m going to be fine. My husband is a doctor.”

Woman: “Oh, well, um, good luck with the delivery.” *leaves*

(I neglected to mention that my husband’s doctorate is a Ph.D. in communications.)