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    Clueless And Shampooless

    | Rockford, IL, USA | Bigotry, Language & Words

    (A customer comes in to exchange a bottle of conditioner for a bottle of shampoo.)

    Customer: “I would like to return this mess. It says ‘Shampoo’ when it clearly reads ‘Conditioner’.”

    Me: “I’m sorry for the mix-up. Let’s get you the correct bottle.”

    (I proceed to go with her to help her get the right item. After taking a couple seconds to look, she lets out an exasperated sigh.)

    Customer: “I can’t believe it! They all say ‘Shampoo’ AND ‘Conditioner’. SEE?!”

    (She thrusts the bottle into my hands. I look at it a minute and see what she means.)

    Me: “Oh, ma’am, this one is conditioner, but these over here are shampoo.”

    Customer: “What?! That’s stupid! Why does it say ‘Shampoo’ when it’s ‘Conditioner’?”

    Me: “Oh, because it actually reads ‘apres shampooing’, which literally means ‘after shampoo’, which in turn means it’s conditioner.”

    Customer: “Well, I don’t speak Spanish!”

    Me: “Ma’am, it’s French.”

    Customer: “Well, you d*** French people need to give the jobs back to the REAL Americans. We’d get this labeling s*** right!