Closing The Barn Door After The Udders Have Gotten Out

(A customer comes into our swimsuit store wearing one of our swimsuits, dripping wet. She’s obviously come straight from the pool.)

Me: “Hello, can I help you?”

Customer: “I need a refund for this suit. It’s defective!”

Me: “What’s the problem with it?”

(Without hesitating, the customer pulls down the front of the suit, flashing her top to me, the store, and the security cameras. The rest of the customers clear out. She’s attempting to show me that the removable cup liners in the bra have curled up.)

Me: “I’m sorry, that’s not a defect. It just curled up. You can straighten it out yourself, or you can go into our changeroom, take off the suit, I’ll fix it, and you can put it back on.”

Customer: “But this suit is defective! I need a refund!”

(My supervisor comes over and she flashes the store again to show the “defect”.)

Supervisor: “That’s not a defect, and as it’s clearly posted that there are no refunds on swimwear.”

Customer: “So I’m just out $90, then? I demand a refund! I did not waste my money on a defective suit!”

Me: “Those liners are removable. We can just take them out and they won’t roll up on you anymore.”

Customer: “What?! I’ll show my nipples to the whole f****** pool!”

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