(Customers have been calling in asking for their Economic Stimulus Tax Rebate since the third week in April, even though it wasn’t scheduled to start showing up until the first weekend in May.)

Me: “Thank you for calling, how may I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, I was wondering if my $600 rebate was in my account yet? My neighbor got his.”

Me: “I’m sorry, it looks like it has not been deposited yet.”

Customer: “Why not? My neighbor got his already.”

Me: “I do apologize, but the IRS has not sent the deposit to your account yet.”

Customer: “Well, why not?”

Me: “I don’t know, sir, but you can call the IRS at 1-866-*** ****, or visit their website. They can tell you when yours is scheduled to be deposited.”

Customer: “Why can’t you just put the money in my account?”

Me: “Because we don’t have it, sir.”

Customer: “Well, after it comes in, I’m changing banks!”

Me: *shakes head*