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    Changing His Tune

    | AB, Canada | Crazy Requests, Musical Mayhem

    (I work at a radio station. I answer a call.)

    Caller: “Yeah, what’s this song you’re playing right now?”

    Me: “Why, it’s [name and title of song].”

    Caller: “Well, whatever it is, it’s bull-s***! I can’t believe you’d allow such a s*** song on the air. YOU SUCK AT YOUR JOB!”

    Me: “I’m sorry you feel that way, sir.”

    Caller: “Well, there’s only one way you can fix this. Play Kick Start My Heart by Motley Crue.”

    Me: “I can’t do that, sir. We don’t have that song.”

    Caller: “WHY THE F*** NOT?”

    Me: “We’re not a classic rock station, sir. As such, our selection of classic rock is rather limited.”

    Caller: “Look, I’m the voice of the people! And the people have decided that you suck, and the music you play sucks. So PLAY MY SONG!”

    Me: “As I said, sir, I can’t do that, because we don’t have it. The best I can do is pass that suggestion along to my boss, and if he agrees with you, we’ll get it. Perhaps you’d like to talk to my boss directly about this? I can transfer your call—”

    Caller: “SO YOU WANT ME TO DO YOUR JOB FOR YOU? JUST PLAY MY F****** SONG!”

    (He proceeds to call me and my station a variety of names until I get tired of him and hang up. This goes on twice a day for about a month. Every time one of the popular female artists of today comes on, he’ll call me up, cuss me out, and demand to hear ‘Kick Start My Heart.’ One day, the only Motley Crue song in our library, ‘Girls, Girls, Girls,’ comes up in the playlist. I play it, and he calls.)

    Caller: “So you finally decided to f****** listing to me and get Motley Crue. NOW PLAY KICK START MY HEART!”

    Me: “I can’t do that, sir. We don’t have it.”

    Caller: “I know you have Kick Start My Heart!”

    Me: “What makes you think that?”

    Caller: “Because you’re playing Girls, Girls, Girls! It’s on the same album! So if you have Girls, Girls, Girls, you’ve got to have Kick Start My Heart!”

    Me: “Sir, I took your concerns to my boss. I told him that the people were demanding that we add Kick Start My Heart to our library. After a lengthy exchange, he decided the only Motley Crue song I could have is the radio single of Girls, Girls, Girls.”

    (There is a lengthy silence from the other end of the line. Finally, he speaks, but instead of cussing me out, he has turned into an incredibly polite person.)

    Caller: “Oh, I didn’t know that. In all that time, you were actually listening to me, and taking my concerns. Hey, you did your best and thanks for that. By the way, love your station and love your show. Keep up the good work!”