October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Chalk Is His Kryptonite

| FL, USA | Food & Drink, Geeks Rule, Top

Customer: “I also want a pound of Swiss cheese, but I don’t want it sliced.”

Me: “So you’d just like a one-pound block of cheese?”

Customer: “Exactly. Can you do that?”

Me: “I sure can.”

(I take the cheese over to the sandwich station to get a large knife, measure approximately where I think one pound would be, and cut off a block. I put it on the scale, and much to my satisfaction, the weight of the block I cut is 1.005 pounds.)

Me: “Well hey, that was pretty good!”

(The customer looks at the scales.)

Customer: “Oh, my God! How did you do that?!”

Me: “Lots of practice?”

Customer: “No, no, that wouldn’t do it. You must have some kind of supernatural cheese power!”

Me: “Well, I was born on a dying cheese planet, and sent to Earth in a cheese rocket by my parents. Exposure to Earth’s yellow sun gives me cheese powers.”

Customer: “Whoa. Honey, come here! You’ve got to see this!”

(The customer’s wife comes over and listens to the story.)

Customer’s Wife: “Holy s***. Can you do that again?”

(I look over at my manager, who rolls her eyes and gives me a ‘go ahead’ wave. I cut another block off the Swiss cheese and weigh it. It comes up to 0.995 pounds.)

Customer’s Wife: “Jesus Christ!”

(She grabs the arm of another passing customer.)

Customer’s Wife: “You’ve got to see this! This guy is Cheese Man!”

Me: “Ma’am, please don’t give away my secret identity. The cheese villains of the world would hunt me down.”