Caution: Density May Vary With Temper

(A customer comes up to my register and orders a pint of mint chip. All of our pints and quarts are hand-scooped.)

Me: “Alright, ma’am, here is your ice cream. Anything else?”

Customer: “No.”

(The customer pulls out a small scale and weighs the pint.)

Customer: “This weighs 17.8 ounces! A pint of water weighs 18! I will not pay for this!”

Me: “I’m sorry. Can I get you a new pint?”

Customer: “No! This is unacceptable!”

Me: “Ma’am, would you like to talk to my manager?”

Customer: “Yes!”

Manager: “Hello, what seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “Are you guys trying to f***ing rip me off? This is grossly underweight!”

Manager: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but ice cream weighs less than water because there are air bubbles in ice cream. We hand scoop our pints so while we put forth the biggest effort, we are not perfect.”

Customer: “F***! I don’t care about air bubbles. This is a f***ing rip-off!”

Manager: “I’m so sorry. What can I do to fix this?”

Customer: “Give me more f***ing ice cream! That’s what you can do!”

Manager: “Okay.”

(I quickly scoop her a couple of cups of mint chip. She pays for the pint and storms off.)