Patron: “Why won’t my library card work?”

Me: “Let me see. Okay, you have $30 in fines on your card. You won’t be able to use it until those fines are paid.”

Patron: “I wanted to get some books for my daughter.”

Me: “I’m sorry. Until the fines are paid, you can’t use the card.”

Patron, to daughter: “Come on honey, let’s go home. The lady doesn’t want you to learn anything today.”