Guest: “I’d like to return this toaster.”

Me: “Okay ma’am, do you have a receipt for the purchase dated within 90 days?”

Guest: “No.”

Me: “Okay, well you can’t return it then. However, if you have an ID you can exchange it for an item of equal or lesser value from the same department.”

Guest: “But I don’t want to exchange it. I want my money.”

Me: “Well, I’m sorry but if you don’t have a receipt, you can’t return the item.”

Guest: “[Other store name] would take it back!”

Another guest in line: “Excuse me, I work there and, no we wouldn’t!”