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    Category: Funny Names

    If there’s one common mistake that all stupid customers have made, it is that simple error of getting a name wrong. Be it a product, a person, a store or a place, these simplest of gems often have the most horrific and memorable results…

    Named And Shamed

    , | Sandy, UT, USA | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Funny Names, Top

    (My debit card has just gone missing. I think I left it at the gas station after I got gas earlier, and now I’m at work. My name is a European variation of a common American name, and though spelled similarly, is quite different. For example, Kristen versus Kirsten. As such, when people read my name, they often use the American version. One of my coworkers calls me over using my nickname.)

    Coworker: “Hey, can you come here a moment?”

    Me: “Sure, what’s up?”

    Coworker: “This guy’s trying to use his girlfriend’s card.”

    (The customer slides a credit card over that looks familiar.)

    Me: “Uhm, can I see your ID?”

    Customer: “It’s my girlfriend’s card; she’s out in the car. I can go get her.”

    Me: “What’s her name?”

    Customer: “Kristen [Last-Name].”

    Me: “Spell her first name.”

    Customer: “Why?”

    Me: “Please?”

    Customer: *sighs* “K R I S T E N.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but she’s going to have to come in and authorize the purchase. I’ll keep the card in the back office until you get back.”

    Customer: “Give me the card, you b****!”

    Me: “I can’t do that when I know this card is stolen.”

    Customer: “It’s not stolen, c***! That’s my girlfriend’s card!”

    Me: “No. This is my card. As you can see, my name tag is spelled correctly, and you spelled it wrong. Also, if you were my boyfriend, I’d break up with you just for not knowing what my name was.”

    (I was very relieved to get my card back! Unfortunately, the customer had run up $300 worth of purchases, but luckily the restaurant I work at has a security camera, and we got his face on camera. I am later able to prove I didn’t make those purchases, so don’t have to pay for them!)

    Max Pain

    | PA, USA | Funny Names

    Customer: “Thanks for your help. What is your name?”

    Me: “My name is Max.”

    Customer: “Matt?”

    Me: “Max.”

    Customer: “Brad?”

    Me: “Max.”

    Customer: “Jack?”

    Me: “Max. M-A-X. Max.”

    Customer: “Matt?”

    Me: *giving up* “Yes.”

    Customer: “Oh, good, I thought I heard you saying ‘Max,’ but that’s not a real name so I figured that I misheard.”

    Drugs Can Make You See Things

    | Canada | At The Checkout, Funny Names, Health & Body, Top

    (I am at the pharmacy picking up my prescription. I am standing in line behind a very elderly lady.)

    Pharmacist: “Hello, ma’am. What can I do for you?”

    Elderly Lady: “I am picking up my prescription. It’s under Mrs. [last name].”

    (I overhear the elderly lady, and realize that she has the same last name as I do. This is not a totally uncommon name, but it doesn’t happen too often.)

    Pharmacist: “Okay! Here we go I think it’s… huh…”

    (The pharmacist looks confused as she picks up some pills.)

    Pharmacist: “Can you tell me your first name please? I don’t think I grabbed the right one.”

    Elderly Lady: “Sure, it’s [first name].”

    (By a crazy coincidence, this is my first name too! At this point the pharmacist widens her eyes in shock as she stares at the pill box in her hand. She starts to stammer.)

    Pharmacist: “But… um… I don’t… uhh… how?”

    Me: “Um, I think those might be mine. I have the same first name and last name. Those are my birth control pills.”

    Pharmacist: “Oh thank GOD! I thought I was in the twilight zone!”

    Elderly Lady: “Oh dear! No wonder! No I don’t want THOSE!”

    Way Under-Branded

    | Regina, SK, Canada | Extra Stupid, Funny Names

    (My clothing store has just sent out an email announcing ‘Winter Sale Underway!’ )

    Me: “Hello [store], how can I help you?”

    Caller: “Hi, I was wondering if you have any ‘Underway?’”

    Me: “Pardon?”

    Caller: “Do you have any ‘Underway?’”

    Me: “Do you mean underwear?”

    Caller: “No! ‘Underway!’ It’s a brand, and it’s supposed to be on sale!”

    Me: “Sorry, ma’am, I’m not familiar with that brand.”

    Caller: “God! You’re useless! Get me someone who knows what ‘Underway’ is!”

    (I hand the phone off to the manager, who goes through the same conversation.)

    Manager: “Ma’am, ‘Winter Sale Underway’ means that a winter sale is coming. ‘Underway’ isn’t a brand.”

    Customer: *hangs up*

    (We still don’t know if the customer came for the sale.)

    That’s Natch The Way You Say It

    | Robeline, LA, USA | Funny Names, Geography, Language & Words, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel

    Customer: “How do I get to ‘Natchy-toe-chess?’”

    Me: “It’s pronounced ‘Nak-a-tesh,’ and it’s a straight shot from here.”

    Customer: “Oh, wow. I was way off, wasn’t I?”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

    Customer: “What about that ‘Provencial’ place I saw on a sign?”

    Me: “It’s ‘Prahv-en-saw.’”

    Customer: “Wow. Then I suppose the name of this town isn’t ‘Robe-line?’”

    Me: “No, ma’am, it’s ‘Ro-buh-lean.’”

    Customer: “Next year I’m going on vacation in Texas. None of the places there have such weird names!”


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