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    Category: Funny Names

    If there’s one common mistake that all stupid customers have made, it is that simple error of getting a name wrong. Be it a product, a person, a store or a place, these simplest of gems often have the most horrific and memorable results…

    How To Devalue Your Crown Jewels

    | UK | Funny Names, Rude & Risque

    Me: “Are you looking for something in particular, sir?”

    Customer: “Yes, do you sell those Chlamydia beads?”

    Me: “Uh… do you mean the Chamillia beads?”

    Customer: “Yes, why, what did I call them?”

    Me: “You don’t want to know what you called them.”

    Initially Incorrect, But They Nipped It In The Bud

    | St. Louis, MO, USA | Funny Names, Language & Words

    (I work at a design firm. A few of our designers have special design achievements that are abbreviated in initials in a smaller script after their name on their business card. I am working in our showroom when a customer comes up to me with a question.)

    Customer: “Excuse me. I am looking for the young man I was talking to earlier.”

    Me: “Sure, we have several male designers here. Do you remember his name?”

    Customer: “No, but he gave me his business card.”

    (She looks around confused for a moment, then her face lights up when she remembers something.)

    Customer: “He has really small nipples!”

    Me: “Excuse me!”

    Customer: “Nipples.”

    Me: “Uhm… anything more descriptive?”

    (A look of horror crosses her face as she realizes what she has said.)

    Customer:Initials! After his name on his card, he has really small initials.”

    Darn-Fangled Dangle

    | Adelaide, SA, Australia | Funny Names, Technology, Themed Giveaway

    Me: “Welcome to [name of ISP] support. This is [my name]; how can I help?”

    Customer: “I have a new dangler!”

    Me: *stifling a laugh* “I’m sorry, I didn’t quite hear you. Could you repeat that?”

    Customer: “I. HAVE. A. DANGLER!”

    Me: “I see, and what help might I offer you today?”

    Customer: “My dangler isn’t working! Fix my dangler!”

    (I realize she is talking about a mobile broadband ‘dongle’. I run through some basic troubleshooting, and fix the problem.)

    Customer: “Thank you for your help! I do hate danglers, they never work the way you want them to!”

    Less Twilight, More Daylight, Part 8

    | Alabama, USA | Funny Names

    (A coworker and I are walking around the theater seeing if anything needs to be done. A woman and about 6 children are walking down the hallway. One of the young girls starts running around.)

    Customer: “Bella! Bella! Stop running, Bella! Bella!”

    (She looks at her young son who is behaving well and pats him on the head.)

    Customer: “Good job, Edward.”

    Me: *speechless*

    Coworker: “I wonder what the others are named.”

    Related:
    Less Twilight, More Daylight, Part 7
    Less Twilight, More Daylight, Part 6
    Less Twilight, More Daylight, Part 5
    Less Twilight, More Daylight, Part 4
    Less Twilight, More Daylight, Part 3
    Less Twilight, More Daylight, Part 2
    Less Twilight, More Daylight

    A Game Of Kat And Birdie

    | Georgia, USA | Funny Names

    (I work at a pharmacy and we are very busy, causing a few customers having to wait. The last woman in line finally steps up.)

    Me: “I apologize for your wait. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “Does your name tag say your name is Kat?”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “Did you have some crazy new age parents or something? Why would they name you after an animal? That’s just dumb! You should have a good sturdy name, like mine!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but what can I help you with?”

    Customer: “I need a refill.”

    Me: “Of course. Can I get your date of birth?”

    Customer: *gives me her date of birth* “And the prescription is under Birdie.”

    Me: “Okay, it’s put in and will be ready in 15 minutes.”

    Customer: “Thank you. I’m sorry you have such a foolish name.”

    Pharmacist: “Did that woman just tell you your name was foolish and complain about people with “animal” names?”

    Me: “Yeah.”

    Pharmacist: “But her name was Birdie…”


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