Category: Funny Names

If there’s one common mistake that all stupid customers have made, it is that simple error of getting a name wrong. Be it a product, a person, a store or a place, these simplest of gems often have the most horrific and memorable results…

Hopefully His First Name Isn’t John

| North Wilkesboro, NC, USA | Crazy Requests, Funny Names, Health & Body

(I work in a well-known national chain pharmacy. The particular store that I work in provides medicine to at least half of our well-sized county, so we stay rather busy and have a lot of customers. This exchange happens far more often than it really should:)

Customer: “I’m here to pick up a prescription.”

Me: “All right, what’s the name?”

Customer: “Johnson.” *or some other common last name*

Me: “Okay, and the first name?”

Customer: “There’s more than one?!”

Me: “…”

His Parent’s Can’t Have Been Very Square

| Australia | Funny Names

(Our store has a pretty standard loyalty program where customers present their loyalty card and are eligible for various discounts. One day, a young man in his 20s with unkempt hair and several piercings came asked me to cut his fabric.)

Me: “And do you have a loyalty card?”

Customer: “Yeah, but I don’t have it on me. Can you look me up in the system?”

Me: “Sure! What was the last name on the card?”

Customer: “‘M-Squared.’ All one word.”

Me: “Umm… Okay, sure. And what was the first name?”

Customer: “Oh, that is my first name. I don’t have a last name.”

Me: “…Okay, let me search for you.”

(Remarkably enough, there was an ‘msquared’ in the system!)

French Disconnection, Part 2

| Edinburgh Scotland, UK | Funny Names, Geography

(I’m French but have been working in Scotland for a few years. My accent is not as strong as the typical French one, but most people can guess where I’m from, especially Brits. Sometimes customers think I’m German. A rather drunk customer comes in.)

Customer: *reading my name tag* “How do you say your name?”

Me: *says my not very usual but definitely French name*

Customer: “So,where are you from?”

Me: “Try to guess!”

Customer: “Poland?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “Estonia?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “Lithuania?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “Latvia?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: Russia?

Me: No

Customer: Republic Czech?

Me: No

Customer: “Poland?”

Me: “No, you already asked.”

Customer: “Oh right! Germany?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “Dutch?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “Romanian?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “You are from Eastern Europe right?”

Me: “Nope.”

Customer: “Well, you look like it!”

(He keeps going and names almost every country in Europe, some twice, but none where people actually speaks French. The evening is slow so I don’t mind and it’s actually quite fun. Finally:)

Customer: “So where are you from then?”

Me: “France.”

Customer: “I knew it!”

Related:
French Disconnection

All Meals Come Pre-Blessed

, | USA | Family & Kids, Funny Names, Religion

(At the restaurant I work at all of the employees names are written on a wall. A little girl around the age of six and her dad walk in. While waiting for their food she is reading the names out loud and spots the name Jesus.)

Girl: “Daddy, look, they have Jesus working here! That’s so awesome. Now we don’t have to pray before this meal!”

(Jesus got a chuckle out of this as the dad quickly explained it is a name pronounced ‘hey-Zeus.’)

Chipping Away Until You Get The Answer

, | MI, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Funny Names

(An elderly customer walks into my store.)

Me: “Hi! I can take your order when you’re ready!”

Customer: “I’d like some chips.”

(The customer doesn’t have a noticeable accent so I assume he isn’t from England.)

Me: “We don’t have chips, but would you like fries instead?”

Customer: “No, I’d like some chips!”

(The elderly customer then points to the chocolate chip cookies we have sitting out front.)

Customer: “You know what I want! I want chips!”

Me: “Oh, you mean chocolate chips!”

Customer: “No! Chips!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, I don’t understand. If you’d like I can get my manager and see if he knows what you’re talking about?”

Customer: “I don’t want your manager! I want chips! You know they’re like chips of chicken!”

Me: “Oh, you mean chicken nuggets?”

Customer: “Yes! There you go! Chicken chips! See, I told you, you had chips!”

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