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    Category: Funny Names

    If there’s one common mistake that all stupid customers have made, it is that simple error of getting a name wrong. Be it a product, a person, a store or a place, these simplest of gems often have the most horrific and memorable results…

    Hope He Is Kidding

    | BC, Canada | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Funny Names

    (I work in a coffee shop that has a drive-thru, and we’re currently in the afternoon rush. I’m wearing a headset, making drinks for my manager who is taking the drive-thru orders.)

    Coworker: “Hi there, welcome to [coffee shop]; how’s your day going?

    Customer: “It’s alright. Get me a large black coffee.”

    Coworker: “For sure! Can we get you an oat bar to go with that today?”

    Customer: “A what?”

    Coworker: “An oat bar.”

    Customer: *angrily* “No, I don’t want a goat farm with that!”

    A Bad Case Of The Mondays

    | UK | Funny Names, Health & Body, Top

    (I’m working the reception at a physiotherapist’s office. A patient enters. She’s looking a little stressed.)

    Patient: “Hi, I’ve got a prescription at [time].”

    Me: “Uh… a prescription?”

    Patient: *shakes her head* “No, I meant… an appointment. An appointment at uh… ten to… quarter… Mr. [Name], no… [Other Name]… oh for crying out loud!”

    (She stops abruptly, turns around and walks out. I sit there a little stunned. Then the door opens and she comes back in.)

    Patient: “Good morning. I’ve got an appointment to see Mr. [Name] at [time].”

    Me: “Ah yes, there you are. Just go take a sheep—”

    (I stop, embarrassed. The patient smiles.)

    Patient: “Monday mornings, right?”

    Named And Shamed

    , | Sandy, UT, USA | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Funny Names, Top

    (My debit card has just gone missing. I think I left it at the gas station after I got gas earlier, and now I’m at work. My name is a European variation of a common American name, and though spelled similarly, is quite different. For example, Kristen versus Kirsten. As such, when people read my name, they often use the American version. One of my coworkers calls me over using my nickname.)

    Coworker: “Hey, can you come here a moment?”

    Me: “Sure, what’s up?”

    Coworker: “This guy’s trying to use his girlfriend’s card.”

    (The customer slides a credit card over that looks familiar.)

    Me: “Uhm, can I see your ID?”

    Customer: “It’s my girlfriend’s card; she’s out in the car. I can go get her.”

    Me: “What’s her name?”

    Customer: “Kristen [Last-Name].”

    Me: “Spell her first name.”

    Customer: “Why?”

    Me: “Please?”

    Customer: *sighs* “K R I S T E N.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but she’s going to have to come in and authorize the purchase. I’ll keep the card in the back office until you get back.”

    Customer: “Give me the card, you b****!”

    Me: “I can’t do that when I know this card is stolen.”

    Customer: “It’s not stolen, c***! That’s my girlfriend’s card!”

    Me: “No. This is my card. As you can see, my name tag is spelled correctly, and you spelled it wrong. Also, if you were my boyfriend, I’d break up with you just for not knowing what my name was.”

    (I was very relieved to get my card back! Unfortunately, the customer had run up $300 worth of purchases, but luckily the restaurant I work at has a security camera, and we got his face on camera. I am later able to prove I didn’t make those purchases, so don’t have to pay for them!)

    Max Pain

    | PA, USA | Funny Names

    Customer: “Thanks for your help. What is your name?”

    Me: “My name is Max.”

    Customer: “Matt?”

    Me: “Max.”

    Customer: “Brad?”

    Me: “Max.”

    Customer: “Jack?”

    Me: “Max. M-A-X. Max.”

    Customer: “Matt?”

    Me: *giving up* “Yes.”

    Customer: “Oh, good, I thought I heard you saying ‘Max,’ but that’s not a real name so I figured that I misheard.”

    Drugs Can Make You See Things

    | Canada | At The Checkout, Funny Names, Health & Body, Top

    (I am at the pharmacy picking up my prescription. I am standing in line behind a very elderly lady.)

    Pharmacist: “Hello, ma’am. What can I do for you?”

    Elderly Lady: “I am picking up my prescription. It’s under Mrs. [last name].”

    (I overhear the elderly lady, and realize that she has the same last name as I do. This is not a totally uncommon name, but it doesn’t happen too often.)

    Pharmacist: “Okay! Here we go I think it’s… huh…”

    (The pharmacist looks confused as she picks up some pills.)

    Pharmacist: “Can you tell me your first name please? I don’t think I grabbed the right one.”

    Elderly Lady: “Sure, it’s [first name].”

    (By a crazy coincidence, this is my first name too! At this point the pharmacist widens her eyes in shock as she stares at the pill box in her hand. She starts to stammer.)

    Pharmacist: “But… um… I don’t… uhh… how?”

    Me: “Um, I think those might be mine. I have the same first name and last name. Those are my birth control pills.”

    Pharmacist: “Oh thank GOD! I thought I was in the twilight zone!”

    Elderly Lady: “Oh dear! No wonder! No I don’t want THOSE!”

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