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    Category: Funny Names

    If there’s one common mistake that all stupid customers have made, it is that simple error of getting a name wrong. Be it a product, a person, a store or a place, these simplest of gems often have the most horrific and memorable results…

    And The Father Of Despair Is On Aisle Three

    | MT, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Funny Names

    (I am doing a return for a customer. She is getting money back for it. I have to get a manager to come up to open the register. To do so, I call over our walkie-talkies.)

    Me: “Can I get an M.O.D to customer service?”

    Customer: “M.O.D?”

    Me: “Oh, M.O.D just means ‘manager on duty.’”

    Customer: “Oh! I thought it stood for ‘Mother of Destruction!’”

    Forgive The Pun(tang)

    | Corvallis, OR, USA | Funny Names, Health & Body, Rude & Risque

    (I am working as a phone operator at the hospital. Usually people call me and I connect them to different parts of the hospital.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Hospital]. How can I help you?”

    Caller: “Yeah. Can you connect me to the ‘vaginacologist’ please?”

    (I knew what she wanted but was stunned because I have never heard anyone say that before.)

    Me: “You mean, the gynecologist office?”

    Caller: “I don’t know what they are called. Whoever is in charge of looking at my ‘hoo haw!’”

    They’re Having A Ball(s)

    | Denver, CO, USA | Funny Names, Rude & Risque, Technology

    (I am sitting next to my mom while she makes a call on speakerphone to her ISP. I witness the conversation.)

    Representative: “Hello, thank you for calling [Company]; my name is [Name]. How can I help you?”

    Mom: “Hi, I need some testicle support.”

    Representative: “… I’m sorry?”

    Mom: “Testicle support! It doesn’t work right.”

    Representative: “Umm… do you mean ‘technical support?’”

    Mom: “Yes! What did I say?”

    Representative: “Uh, not anything I can repeat.”

    (I am struggling to hold my laughter in as I whisper the word to my mom.)

    Mom: “Oh! Oh my… I can’t believe I said that! You don’t think I’m a weirdo, do you?”

    Representative: *chuckling* “Don’t worry about it. That was the funniest thing I’ve heard all night.”

    (From that point on, they make a point of saying the word ‘technical’ whenever possible during the conversation, and all three of us giggle like gossiping schoolgirls when anyone says it. My mom gets to the end of the call…)

    Representative: “Thanks for calling [Company] TECHNICAL support.”

    Mom: “Thanks for being such a great TESTICLE service rep. The next time I have a TESTICLE issue, I would be thrilled to talk to you again. For now, I’ll leave you to take care of another customer’s TESTICLE issues. Thanks again!”

    (As we hang up, the last thing we hear is raucous laughter. We apparently made the night of more than one rep that little bit better. Thanks, Mom, for being such a loony!)

    Not Painting A Pretty Picture Of Himself, Part 2

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | Bigotry, Funny Names, Home Improvement

    (I’m a female who works in the paint department. It’s quiet, and a male coworker and I are chatting. He knows nothing about paint. We are approached by an older male customer.)

    Me: “Hi, how can I help you today?”

    (The customer ignores me, and turns to my coworker.)

    Customer: “I need to paint my doors. Do you have animal paint?”

    (I try and keep a straight face at this.)

    Coworker: “Sorry, sir, I would not know. [My Name] is more than qualified, and can help you.”

    Customer: *turning to me, visibly annoyed* “She’s a girl; she wouldn’t know. Okay missy, where’s the animal paint?”

    Me: “Sir, what I think you mean is ‘enamel’ paint. There are two types. Water and—”

    Customer: *angry* “No, stupid girl! Didn’t you hear me? ANIMAL PAINT! Not whatever you said.”

    Me: “Sorry, sir, but we only have acrylic or enamel paint. Maybe you were misled?”

    (The customer slams his items on the counter and turns around screaming.)

    Customer: “F****** women should stay in the kitchen!” *turns to face me* “ANIMAL PAINT!”

    Related:
    Not Painting A Pretty Picture Of Himself

    Hope He Is Kidding

    | BC, Canada | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Funny Names

    (I work in a coffee shop that has a drive-thru, and we’re currently in the afternoon rush. I’m wearing a headset, making drinks for my manager who is taking the drive-thru orders.)

    Coworker: “Hi there, welcome to [coffee shop]; how’s your day going?

    Customer: “It’s alright. Get me a large black coffee.”

    Coworker: “For sure! Can we get you an oat bar to go with that today?”

    Customer: “A what?”

    Coworker: “An oat bar.”

    Customer: *angrily* “No, I don’t want a goat farm with that!”


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