November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Category: Funny Names

If there’s one common mistake that all stupid customers have made, it is that simple error of getting a name wrong. Be it a product, a person, a store or a place, these simplest of gems often have the most horrific and memorable results…

He’ll Be Führer-ious

| MI, USA | Funny Names, History

(I’ve recently started my first job as a cashier at a small town’s grocery store. A large, seemingly drunk man has approached my register at night.)

Customer: “Hey! Where’s Hitler?”

Me: “Uhm… what?”

Customer: “You heard me! Where is Hitler?”

Me: *thinking this is a joke of some sort* “He’s, well, dead.”

Customer: “What? No! Not that Hitler! I mean your boss!”

Acting Stupido

| Dahlgren, VA, USA | Funny Names, Hotels & Lodging

Guest: “Oh, Marla is a pretty name; but it doesn’t sound very Italian.”

Me: “Why would I have an Italian name?”

Guest: “You’re Italian, right? I mean, you look Italian.”

Me: “Nope, not Italian. Mom’s Mexican and Dad is White.”

Guest: “So, you’re kinda Italian?”

Me: “Nope. Not kinda. Not at all.”

Guest: “Well, you should be. You would be a pretty Italian.”

Me: *smiles and hands them their key* “So, since I’m not Italian, I am ugly?”

Chocolate Chip Slip

| Pigeon Forge, TN, USA | Food & Drink, Funny Names

(I am a cashier behind a counter at a cafe when a middle-aged man walks in.)

Me: “Yes, what can I get for you?”

Customer: “A packet of chocolate and a chip milkshake.”

Me: “Pardon?”

Customer: “Packet of chocolate and a chip milkshake!”

Me: “Don’t you mean—”

Customer: *really loudly* “A packet of chocolate and a chip milkshake! How hard is that—” *realizes* “—Sorry.”

Me: “Packet of chips and a chocolate milkshake?”

(Customer nodded and collected his food. I’ve never seen anyone rush to their table so quickly!)

The ‘Mocha Chocolate’ Is Just The Cream On Top

| USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Funny Names

(I am a customer in a small local coffee shop next to a hospital. A woman in scrubs acting important cuts in front of me but being early and a regular I let it slide. She starts to order:)

Customer: “Give me a tall grande skinny chocolate mocha frappe soy latte with cream.”

Barista: “What was that order?”

Customer: “Uh…” *repeats something different*

Barista: “What size; we have small and large.”

Customer: “What about tall grande skinny did you not understand?”

Barista: “So that is a large mocha latte with whipped cream?”

Customer: “No, that’s chocolate mocha!”

Barista: “Chocolate and mocha are the same thing.”

(At this point I laugh and the customer turns and glares at me.)

Customer: “Fine, just make it.”

(The barista does so.)

Barista: “Should I close the lid or are you going to add cream?”

Customer: “Why would you ask that?”

Barista: “I wouldn’t want it to spill.”

Customer: “Just give it to me.”

(She pays and leaves, the barista is just shaking his head. I step up trying not to laugh and hand over my travel cup and cash.)

Me: “What in the world was she actually trying to order?”

Barista: “I don’t even know!”

Doesn’t Go Quite So Well With Jelly

| AZ, USA | Food & Drink, Funny Names

(Sunday morning working in the beer and wine section of a busy supermarket stocking bottles of wine.)

Customer: “Excuse me; can you help me find some peanut grease?”

Me: *a little tired, thinking the customer perhaps meant peanut oil or something* “Peanut grease? I’m not sure if we stock that but if we do it would probably be in the baking aisle.”

Customer: “Baking? I don’t want to cook with it; I want to drink it.”

Me: *nonplussed* “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “Yes, I’m looking for something dry but still a little sweet and I read on a website that peanut grease would be a good one to try.”

Me: *the penny drops* “Oh, pinot gris! Yes, we have that right over here…”

(I proceeded to help him pick out a few nice bottles. One of the better customers I’ve dealt with to be honest but I can’t go past that completely brilliant mangling of pronunciation.)