July Theme Of The Month: Great Timing!

Category: Funny Names

If there’s one common mistake that all stupid customers have made, it is that simple error of getting a name wrong. Be it a product, a person, a store or a place, these simplest of gems often have the most horrific and memorable results…

Worth Its Weight In Golden

| Exeter, England, UK | Funny Names, Language & Words, Rude & Risque

(A rather frazzled looking customer rushes in and comes straight over to the counter.)

Me: “Hi! How can I help?”

Customer: “Hi, I’d like 12.5g of golden virginity please…”

(Pause.)

Me: “I’m sorry, love, there are some things we just can’t give back.”

Customer: “Oh my goodness, Virginia! I meant golden Virginia!”

Not Quite Wedded To The Details

| NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Family & Kids, Funny Names

(I work in a bridal shop where in order to do pretty much anything we need the brides information, and the wedding date. A girl comes in with her dad to be measured for a dress and tells me the bride called our store.)

Me: “Do you happen to know if anyone else ordered the dress yet?”

Dad: “I’m not sure.”

Me: “Okay, when is the wedding? I can look up the paperwork and find out.”

Dad: “…” *blank stare*

Me: “Okay… What’s the bride’s name, then?”

Dad: “I don’t know…”

(I understand the dad not knowing, but the daughter was at least 14. How do you be in a wedding and not know anything about it?)

Hopefully His First Name Isn’t John

| North Wilkesboro, NC, USA | Crazy Requests, Funny Names, Health & Body

(I work in a well-known national chain pharmacy. The particular store that I work in provides medicine to at least half of our well-sized county, so we stay rather busy and have a lot of customers. This exchange happens far more often than it really should:)

Customer: “I’m here to pick up a prescription.”

Me: “All right, what’s the name?”

Customer: “Johnson.” *or some other common last name*

Me: “Okay, and the first name?”

Customer: “There’s more than one?!”

Me: “…”

His Parent’s Can’t Have Been Very Square

| Australia | Funny Names

(Our store has a pretty standard loyalty program where customers present their loyalty card and are eligible for various discounts. One day, a young man in his 20s with unkempt hair and several piercings came asked me to cut his fabric.)

Me: “And do you have a loyalty card?”

Customer: “Yeah, but I don’t have it on me. Can you look me up in the system?”

Me: “Sure! What was the last name on the card?”

Customer: “‘M-Squared.’ All one word.”

Me: “Umm… Okay, sure. And what was the first name?”

Customer: “Oh, that is my first name. I don’t have a last name.”

Me: “…Okay, let me search for you.”

(Remarkably enough, there was an ‘msquared’ in the system!)

French Disconnection, Part 2

| Edinburgh Scotland, UK | Funny Names, Geography

(I’m French but have been working in Scotland for a few years. My accent is not as strong as the typical French one, but most people can guess where I’m from, especially Brits. Sometimes customers think I’m German. A rather drunk customer comes in.)

Customer: *reading my name tag* “How do you say your name?”

Me: *says my not very usual but definitely French name*

Customer: “So,where are you from?”

Me: “Try to guess!”

Customer: “Poland?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “Estonia?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “Lithuania?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “Latvia?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: Russia?

Me: No

Customer: Republic Czech?

Me: No

Customer: “Poland?”

Me: “No, you already asked.”

Customer: “Oh right! Germany?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “Dutch?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “Romanian?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “You are from Eastern Europe right?”

Me: “Nope.”

Customer: “Well, you look like it!”

(He keeps going and names almost every country in Europe, some twice, but none where people actually speaks French. The evening is slow so I don’t mind and it’s actually quite fun. Finally:)

Customer: “So where are you from then?”

Me: “France.”

Customer: “I knew it!”

Related:
French Disconnection

Page 7/28First...56789...Last