Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Calling At All Stations To The 19th Century
    (1,631 thumbs up)
  • July Theme Of The Month: Animal Madness!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: Funny Names

    If there’s one common mistake that all stupid customers have made, it is that simple error of getting a name wrong. Be it a product, a person, a store or a place, these simplest of gems often have the most horrific and memorable results…

    Warning: IQ May Be Inversely Proportional To Wavelength, Part Two

    , | Australia | Extra Stupid, Funny Names, Technology

    (I work in the sporting department with another coworker. A customer comes up.)

    Customer: “Hey, uh, do you have that thing? Where you put stuff in the thing and the thing turns it?”

    (My coworker and I exchange confused glances.)

    Me: “Sorry. What do you mean?”

    Customer: *attempting to use confusing hand gestures* “You know, that thing where you put the stuff in the thing, and it turns and gets hot?”

    Coworker: “You mean a microwave?”

    Related:
    Warning: IQ May Be Inversely Proportional To Wavelength

    Failed The Geek Test

    | SC, USA | Books & Reading, Funny Names, Geeks Rule

    Customer: “Do you have The Hobbit?”

    Me: “Yeah, it’s back in SciFi/Fantasy. Alphabetical by author’s last name. Tolkien.”

    Customer: “Why is The Hobbit in SciFi/Fantasy?”

    Me: “Uhh…”

    Customer: “It’s a test.”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Customer: *visibly annoyed* “Health Occupational Basics Entrance Test. Why is it in SciFi? That doesn’t make any sense.”

    Me: “Oh! Hold on.” *looks it up on the computer* “Yeah, we don’t have anything like that in the store. I can order something if you want.”

    Customer: “What?! I called earlier and the woman I talked to said you had it in the store.”

    Me: “Yeah… she probably thought you were talking about The Hobbit. Do you want me to order a title for you?”

    Customer: “NO!” *walks out with a huff*

    Actually Wore Her Name Out

    | Battle Creek, MI, USA | Extra Stupid, Funny Names

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. How may I help you?”

    Caller: “Before I tell you anything, I want to know your name. I’m not about to be taken advantage of. I’m old.”

    Me: “That’s no problem, ma’am. My name is Chelsea. ”

    Caller: “What did you say? Carly?”

    Me: “No, ma’am, Chelsea.”

    Caller: “Casey?”

    Me: “Chelsea, with a “C.H.”"

    Caller: “Patchy?”

    Me: “… Yes.”

    Coated In Confusion

    | TX, USA | Funny Names

    (At the department store where I work we have call boxes where customers can request assistance. When the button is pressed, the name of the department where the customer needs help is paged over the PA system.)

    Customer: *to coworker* “Excuse me. My wife was just paged to swimwear. What does that mean? Where is that?”

    Coworker: *confused* “Um, we don’t have any swimwear right now. The section where it would be has coats right now.”

    Customer: “But she was paged to swimwear!”

    (My coworker looks at me for help. I’m several feet away and haven’t really been paying attention to the conversation, so I think he is just trying to find swimwear.)

    Me: “All our swimwear is on clearance now since we have all our coats in, but we will probably get some in a few weeks.”

    Customer: “But they paged my wife to swimwear!”

    Me: “Yeah that’s where the coats are—”

    Coworker: “What’s your wife’s name?”

    Customer: “Coats?”

    Coworker: “No, what’s your wife’s name?”

    Customer: “Coats!”

    (Suddenly something dawns on me.)

    Me: “Wait, did the page say, ‘Misses’ Coats and Swimwear?’”

    Customer: “Yeah! Mrs. Coates in swimwear!”

    Me: “Oh, that’s just the call box. Someone needed help in that section so it announced it over the PA.”

    Customer: “Oh…” *walks away looking confused*

    Truly Terrible With Names

    | USA | Funny Names

    (I have a more ‘unique’ name for a girl. If someone just skips over my name or says it wrong, I don’t correct them. But sometimes people want to clarify.)

    Me: “Good Afternoon. [Vet Clinic]. This is Joie. How can I help you?”

    Caller: “Hi. Did you say your name was Jody?”

    Me: “No, sir. Joie.”

    Caller: “Joanie?”

    Me: “Uh, no. Joie. Like a baby kangaroo.”

    Caller: “Oh, you said Julie?”

    Me: “No, sir, Joie. But that’s okay. How can I help you?”

    Caller: “And your name isn’t Julie?”

    Me: “No sir. It’s Joie.”

    Caller: “I prefer Julie to your name.”

    Me: “Uh…”

    Caller: “Can I call you Julie at least? I don’t like your name.”

    Me: “No. No, you cannot.”

    Caller: “Okay, I will call back later when I can talk to someone with a better name. Bye.”


    Page 5/21First...34567...Last