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    Category: Funny Names

    If there’s one common mistake that all stupid customers have made, it is that simple error of getting a name wrong. Be it a product, a person, a store or a place, these simplest of gems often have the most horrific and memorable results…

    Show Off

    | UK | Crazy Requests, Funny Names

    (I work in a theatre and help a customer with a very long ticket booking. He gazes at me warily through most of it as if expecting I’m going to make a mistake.)

    Me: “Okay then, sir. Here are your tickets. I hope you enjoy the show!”

    Customer: You shouldn’t call it a show you know.”

    Me: “Oh?”

    Customer: “Yes. A show is a vague description that could refer to a performance involving music or dance. I have only booked plays, so you should say ‘enjoy the play.’ Do you understand?”

    Me: “I do… and I hope you enjoy the show.”

    He Has Mama Issues

    | Stettler, AB, Canada | Food & Drink, Funny Names, Wild & Unruly

    (I’m a fairly new cashier at a popular fast food restaurant. Our burgers have names, like ‘Mama Burger’ or ‘Teen Burger.’)

    Customer: *obviously intoxicated* “I want a cheeseburger and I want it hot. I don’t want it sitting in the f******* warmer.”

    (As there is no listing for cheeseburger, I automatically change it to a ‘mama burger’ with cheese.)

    Me: “Of course, sir, that’ll be $7.50.”

    (I continue on with my job, cleaning trays and wiping tables, as someone else bags food. After several minutes I notice the customer is still standing there without his food. There is a bag sitting on the counter, and as I check the receipt I notice it is his ‘mama burger’ with cheese.)

    Me: “Sir, I believe this is your meal here. Your cheeseburger?”

    Customer: “I ORDERED A GODD*** CHEESEBURGER OVER 10 MINUTES AGO! NOT A ‘MAMA BURGER’!”

    (As he continues on, my manager steps in and I quietly go hide in the back room and watch and listen.)

    Manager: “I’m sorry for the mix up, sir. This is a cheeseburger, but in this restaurant it’s called a—”

    Customer: “I DON’T GIVE A D*** WHAT IT’S CALLED. I’VE WAITED OVER 10 MINUTES! THIS IS WHY YOU PEOPLE ONLY MAKE MINIMUM WAGE! ANY MONKEY COULD TAKE YOUR JOBS AND DO BETTER!”

    Manager: *calmly* “I’m sorry, sir.”

    Customer: *snatches food from counter* “I’M SO MAD, I COULD JUST—” *raises his fist to manager’s face* “I SHOULD BURN THIS BUILDING DOWN ON TOP OF ALL OF YOU WORTHLESS PIECES OF S***!”

    Manager: “You should not be out drinking and driving. It puts everyone in danger.”

    Customer: “I’VE NEVER HAD A SIP OF ALCOHOL IN MY LIFE! NO DRUGS EITHER!”

    *storms out with his food*

    Next Customer In Line: “That’s a lie. He has had to be removed by police from [Other Fast Food Restaurant] four times. We’re instructed to phone police if he enters the premises.”

    Me: *comes out of hiding*

    Coworker: “You saw that coming, huh? I was wondering why you were hiding.”

    Me: “This job… It gets better, right?”

    Coworker: “No.”

    Needs To Board A School Bus

    | BC, Canada | Funny Names, Transportation

    (I work at a bus depot which has trips running daily to Alberta. I’m not new to the job, and know pretty much all the common destinations.)

    Customer: “My daughter needs a ticket to Dukin.”

    Me: “Dukin? I’ve never heard of it. Where is it?”

    Customer: “In Alberta! I know there’s a bus going to Dukin tonight! She took this trip last month. I know you guys go there, you know, Doo – kin. Dukin!”

    Me: “It’s not in the computer. How do you spell it?”

    Customer: “L – E – D… something…”

    Me: “Leduc?”

    Customer: “Yeah! That’s what I said: Dukin!”

    (She buys tickets regularly now, and calls the city Dukin to this day.!)

    Combo Number Four(skin)

    , | Des Moines, IA, USA | Food & Drink, Funny Names, Health & Body, Rude & Risque

    (I’m working the drive-thru at about nine pm. A car comes up and a teenager gives his order of a burger.)

    Me: “And what size do you want for that?”

    Customer: “Uh… circumcise me!”

    Me: “You mean supersize?”

    Customer: “Yeah! Circumcise me.”

    (He drives to the first window, paying. I stick an extra plastic knife in his bag. When he drives to my window, I hand him his food.)

    Me: “Sir, I included one of our plastic knives. Unfortunately, we can’t perform your request here.”

    Customer: “What?”

    (The girl in the passenger seat, presumably his girlfriend, leans over and whispers in his ear.)

    Customer: *eyes widen and looks at me horrified*

    Me: “You did ask.”

    Customer: *steps on the gas and speeds out of the drive-thru*

    Crappy Management

    | NV, USA | Funny Names, Language & Words, Rude & Risque

    (I work as a cashier. One evening, two customers walk into the store and ask for an exchange. One of the men walks around the store to find what he wants while his friend stays with me. We make small talk while he waits.)

    Customer’s Friend: “You’d make a good manager here.”

    Me: “Thanks, but I don’t think so. I don’t have enough experience here.”

    Customer’s Friend: “You shouldn’t say that about yourself. You’re a wonderful person.”

    Me: “Thank you. But I’ve only worked here for less than a year. I don’t think corporate would let me become a manager yet.”

    Customer’s Friend: “Stop that! You can do anything you want.”

    (At that moment, the customer’s friend returns to the counter. His friend goes over to the other counter to wait with him as one of my managers processes the return. Just as they’re about to leave…)

    Customer’s Friend: “You have to stop being so negative about yourself. It’s not good.”

    Me: “Okay, sir. I won’t.”

    Customer’s Friend: “I’m serious. Don’t self-defecate!”

    Me: “… I won’t, sir. I promise.”

    (I had to wait until they left before I could start laughing. I’m sure his intentions were good, and that he meant to say ‘deprecate’, but his small mistake made my night.)

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