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  • August Theme Of The Month: Best. Customer. Ever!

    Category: Funny Names

    If there’s one common mistake that all stupid customers have made, it is that simple error of getting a name wrong. Be it a product, a person, a store or a place, these simplest of gems often have the most horrific and memorable results…

    Entitled And Newly Titled

    , | Mankato, MN, USA | Bad Behavior, Funny Names

    (My mother and I are deciding on a gift to buy for a sick relative. I wander away so she can check out but a few minutes later she comes over to me, empty handed and confused.)

    Mother: “I was at the register about to buy it, but a woman standing next to me looked over and grabbed it out of my hands!”

    Me: “You’re kidding! Did she ask for it?”

    Mother: “No! She just grabbed it and handed it to the cashier. And the cashier rang her up!”

    Me: “Mom, there’s a phrase that my friends and I use. It makes you feel a bit better sometimes.”

    Mother: “Okay…” *keep in mind, she is an older and very mild mannered woman*

    Me: “Entitlement b****!”

    Mother: *happily and with great diction* “Entitlement b****!”

    Not Quite The Harper Lee Classic

    | Vancouver, BC, USA | Books & Reading, Funny Names, Movies & TV

    Customer: “Excuse me, do you have ‘How to Kill a Mockingjay?'”

    Me: *just stare at her, completely caught off-guard by her question* “Did you want ‘To Kill a Mockingbird’ or ‘Mockingjay?'”

    Customer: “To Kill a Mockingjay!”

    Me: “Are you sure?” *I lead her over to the teen section, knowing she wants The Hunger Games book, Mockingjay*

    Customer: “That’s it! Hunger Games!”

    Me: *sigh*

    (She didn’t end up buying it because it was in hardcover and she’d rather wait until it’s in paperback so I’m sure I’ll be asked for “To Kill a Mockingjay” again!)

    Hey, [His Name]

    , | Australia | At The Checkout, Funny Names

    (At my deli we have a worker named Naim. We pronounce it exactly the same as the word ‘name.’)

    Customer: “How long till the hot chickens come out?”

    Coworker #1: “I’m not sure. Hey, Naim, do you know?”

    Coworker #2: “Half an hour, I think—”

    Customer: “That’s INCREDIBLY rude! Are you just too lazy to learn his name?”

    Coworker #2: “But… that is my name.”

    (He shows the customer his name tag, and she immediately brightens and apologises.)

    Coworker #1: *starts laughing* “If I call anyone Nametag then I’ll be in trouble.” *turns to me* “Right, Nametag?”

    (I can’t help but giggle, and the customer just rolls her eyes and walks away.)

    More Than Morgan

    | NS, Canada | Awesome Customers, Funny Names

    (I have recently been hired and the manager has been having trouble getting a name tag for me. Since it is required to wear one, he gives me a choice between two old tags that happen to be in the office, and I choose to be ‘Morgan’ for the time being. I am helping a very sweet customer locate an item.)

    Customer: “Thank you so much for all of your help.” *looks at my name tag* “Morgan. You’ve been great. And I’ll remember you because I have a niece named Morgan!”

    Me: “I guess I shouldn’t tell you that my name’s not really Morgan then, should I?”

    Customer: “It’s not? Oh, no! Well, don’t tell me what it is; you’ll just confuse me!”

    Me: *laughing* “Okay, I won’t!”

    Customer: “Thanks again for your help, “Morgan”” *makes “air quote” motion with her hands* “I’m sure I’ll be in again!”

    (She came in a few more times before I got my proper name tag, and she always called me “Morgan” using her hands to do the air quotes. She never asked for my real name!)

    Cocoa-Loco

    | Sweden | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Funny Names

    Me: “Nina! Here’s your tall hot chocolate!”

    (The customer takes it, walks away, and comes back.)

    Customer: “What was the name?”

    Me: “Nina.”

    Customer: “Oh, that’s not me.”

    Me: *looking at the line of drinks and not seeing any other hot chocolates waiting to be made* “…and you’re waiting for a hot chocolate?”

    Customer: “No, a strawberries and cream Frappuccino.”

    Me: “…”

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