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    Category: Funny Names

    If there’s one common mistake that all stupid customers have made, it is that simple error of getting a name wrong. Be it a product, a person, a store or a place, these simplest of gems often have the most horrific and memorable results…

    Buffalos In The Mist

    | Ontario, Canada | Food & Drink, Funny Names, Pets & Animals

    Customer: “I’m looking for some cheese, but I can’t remember what it’s called.”

    Me: “Well, we carry over 100 different kinds of cheese. Is there anything that you know about it?”

    Customer: “It’s a type of Parmesan cheese, and I think it was made from gorilla milk.”

    Me: “Gorilla? Uh, do you mean buffalo?”

    Customer: “They’re the same thing!”

    All Style, No Substance

    | Ann Arbor, MI, USA | Funny Names

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Hair Salon]. How may I assist you?”

    Customer: “Yes, I was in there last week and I got my hair done by [stylist].”

    Me: “Okay. Is there a problem?”

    Customer: “No, I think it looks great.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, I’m a little confused. Is there something I can help you with?”

    Customer: “Well, I’d like to come back in and have it re-done.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I thought you said you liked it. Is there a problem?”

    Customer: “Every time [stylist] does my hair my friends all tell me how great it looks, this time no one has even noticed I got it done. I’d like to come back in and have it re-done so people will notice it.”

    Me: “Well, [stylist] is very busy this week. I’m not sure if he will be able to get you in.”

    Customer: “But what am I supposed to do?!”

    (By this time I had looked up her name from the caller ID and found the day she came in 6 days prior.)

    Me: “I was here last Tuesday and I remember when you left, your hair looked amazing!”

    Customer: “Oh really? Great! Tell [stylist] I’ll see him for my next appointment in 7 weeks, and I want the color he did this time. I just love it!”

    Not To La-Boar The Point, Part 3

    | Knoxville, TN, USA | Food & Drink, Funny Names

    Customer: *places foil wrapped ham on counter* “I ordered a spiral sliced ham and you gave me a turkey!”

    Me: “Okay, let me just see the turkey.” *I open the foil and see that it is definitely a ham* “Ma’am, this is a ham.”

    Customer: “No, it’s not. That is a turkey! I think I know what ham looks like.”

    Me: “Can you see the bone and the pinkish color? The turkey is boneless and white.”

    Customer: “I know what a ham looks like and that is a turkey!”

    Me: “I assure you it’s a ham. Would you like to sample it?”

    (She samples the ham and looks flustered.)

    Customer: “Oh just give me whatever the h*** that thing is!”

    Related:
    Not To La-Boar The Point, Part 2
    Not To La-Boar The Point

    Playing The Name Game

    | Lynnwood, WA, USA | Family & Kids, Funny Names

    (A customer calls in with a question. This is during heavy snow, so traveling to a store is a big deal.)

    Customer: “Hi I’m looking for [name of video game], but not [game with very similar name]. I’ve called in everywhere and no one seems to have it.”

    Me: “Okay, Let me just look that up for you.”

    (I proceed with looking up the game and find out that they stopped making the series and that there wasn’t in fact even a game by the title she wanted.)

    Me: “Okay it looks like we have [game with similar name] but they never made [game she wanted].”

    Customer: “Oh great! I’ll come right down to pick it up! I can’t believe you have it!”

    (The customer hangs up before I can repeat that we didn’t have it and that it doesn’t exist. Later in the day my boss informs me a lady up front wants to talk to me; I dread going to the front to a woman who has driven through to snow to look for a game doesn’t exist.)

    Customer: “Hi, [my name]! I just wanted to thank you in person for helping me find [game she wanted]. My son was looking for it everywhere!”

    (As she says this, she holds up the game with the similar title.)

    Me: “You’re… welcome?”

    Son: “Mom! You’ve been calling it the wrong name all day!”

    Must Be That Time Of The Month

    | Toronto, ON, Canada | Bizarre, Funny Names

    (A customer calls in to order tickets.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [theater], how can I help you?”

    Caller: “I need to order tickets to see your show!”

    Me: “Alright then, and which show were you looking for?”

    Caller: “You mean there’s more than one?!”

    Me: “That’s right, we have 6 shows in our season, and 12 from people who rent our space.”

    Caller: “Well, I don’t like that many choices!”

    Me: “I’m sorry about that, ma’am. Maybe we can narrow it down. Would you like to see one of our current shows or something within the month?”

    Caller: “What Month is this?!”

    Me: “It’s January.”

    Caller: “No, I don’t like January! What else is there?”

    Me: *pause* “February?”

    Caller: “Hmm. February. FEB-ruary. F-F-F-Feb. No, I don’t like that either!”

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