Category: Funny Names

If there’s one common mistake that all stupid customers have made, it is that simple error of getting a name wrong. Be it a product, a person, a store or a place, these simplest of gems often have the most horrific and memorable results…

Rich Has Checked Out

| Michigan, USA | Funny Names, Uncategorized

(This is an independent bank with only four loan officers.)

Me: “Here’s you receipt. Are you all set?”

Customer: “I need to speak with my loan officer for a minute.”

Me: “Okay, that’s Joe. Let me check if he’s available.”

Customer: “No! Rich is my loan officer.”

Me: “No, Joe is. He talked to you last week, remember? Tall guy with a moustache?”

Customer: “Rich has been my loan officer for eight years. I want to speak with him!”

Me: “Rich died three years ago.”

Customer: *silence*

Me: “So, I’ll get Joe?’”

Customer: “Right, Joe.”

Perturbed By The Verb

| Queens, NY, USA | Funny Names, Politics, Uncategorized

Caller: “You need to do something about that new surf shop. You need to shut them down.”

Me: “Ma’am, we can’t just shut the surf shop down, but why don’t you tell me the problem?”

Caller: “Well, they’re very inappropriate! My teenage daughter walked by the other day, and they ‘Googled’ her!”

Me: “They ‘Googled’ your daughter?”

Caller: “Yes!”

Me: “As she walked by?”

Caller: “That’s what I’m telling you!”

Me: “Do you mean they ‘ogled’ her?”

Caller: “Same thing!”

Stupidity That Makes You Go Wow

| Henderson, NV, USA | Funny Names, Technology, Uncategorized

Customer: “I wanted to know about SEO. What’s that?”

Me: “SEO is Search Engine Optimization. In a nutshell, I can help you to get noticed by search engines.”

Customer: “So, you’re SEO are you? I want to meet him.”

Me: “I don’t understand. What do you mean?”

Customer: “SEO is the name of a friend of mine in World of Warcraft. Are you him? Hey! How are you? I didn’t know you did web sites!”

Fauxxx Pas

| Pittsburgh, PA, USA | Funny Names, Rude & Risque, Uncategorized

Customer: “Hi, do you have coitus?”

Me: *pause* “Excuse me?”

Customer: “Coitus! Do you have coitus?!”

Me: “Alright, sir, I really hope I’m understanding you wrong, so I need you to say what you want a bit slower.”

(He thinks for a long time, then slowly says the word, drawing out every letter.)

Customer: “Curtains?”

Killing One Cold Bird With Two Stores

| Melbourne, Australia | Food & Drink, Funny Names, Top

Customer: *throws bag of food at me* “It’s f***ing cold! Your chicken is terrible and the bun is stale!”

Me: “Uh, this is–”

Customer: “No, shut up! You guys always f*** me over, you’re not getting away with it today!”

Me: “You didn’t–”

Customer: “Fine! Get your manager, if you won’t help me. Enjoy being fired, a**wipe!”

Another customer: “You’re at [fast food outlet], mate. You bought your food from [rival store], next door.”

Customer: “Oh.” *awkward silence* “Can I have that bag back?”

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