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    Category: Funny Names

    If there’s one common mistake that all stupid customers have made, it is that simple error of getting a name wrong. Be it a product, a person, a store or a place, these simplest of gems often have the most horrific and memorable results…

    Playing The Name Game

    | Lynnwood, WA, USA | Family & Kids, Funny Names

    (A customer calls in with a question. This is during heavy snow, so traveling to a store is a big deal.)

    Customer: “Hi I’m looking for [name of video game], but not [game with very similar name]. I’ve called in everywhere and no one seems to have it.”

    Me: “Okay, Let me just look that up for you.”

    (I proceed with looking up the game and find out that they stopped making the series and that there wasn’t in fact even a game by the title she wanted.)

    Me: “Okay it looks like we have [game with similar name] but they never made [game she wanted].”

    Customer: “Oh great! I’ll come right down to pick it up! I can’t believe you have it!”

    (The customer hangs up before I can repeat that we didn’t have it and that it doesn’t exist. Later in the day my boss informs me a lady up front wants to talk to me; I dread going to the front to a woman who has driven through to snow to look for a game doesn’t exist.)

    Customer: “Hi, [my name]! I just wanted to thank you in person for helping me find [game she wanted]. My son was looking for it everywhere!”

    (As she says this, she holds up the game with the similar title.)

    Me: “You’re… welcome?”

    Son: “Mom! You’ve been calling it the wrong name all day!”

    Must Be That Time Of The Month

    | Toronto, ON, Canada | Bizarre, Funny Names

    (A customer calls in to order tickets.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [theater], how can I help you?”

    Caller: “I need to order tickets to see your show!”

    Me: “Alright then, and which show were you looking for?”

    Caller: “You mean there’s more than one?!”

    Me: “That’s right, we have 6 shows in our season, and 12 from people who rent our space.”

    Caller: “Well, I don’t like that many choices!”

    Me: “I’m sorry about that, ma’am. Maybe we can narrow it down. Would you like to see one of our current shows or something within the month?”

    Caller: “What Month is this?!”

    Me: “It’s January.”

    Caller: “No, I don’t like January! What else is there?”

    Me: *pause* “February?”

    Caller: “Hmm. February. FEB-ruary. F-F-F-Feb. No, I don’t like that either!”

    Those Who Have Impotence Will Never Lose Their Flower

    | Thomasville, NC, USA | Funny Names, Rude & Risque

    Customer: “Excuse me, do you have impotence?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, what?”

    Customer: “Impotence? Do you have impotence?”

    Me: “No, ma’am. Everything seems to be in working order.”

    (The customer walks away and several minutes later I find her out front waving a pack of flowers.)

    Customer: *yelling and smiling* “Here it is! I’ve found your impotence!”

    (The flowers she had found were Impatiens.)

    Don’t Ask For Chocolate Drops

    | New Jersey, USA | Funny Names, Rude & Risque

    (A customer arrives at the drive-thru window.)

    Customer: “I’m so sorry, I’m not sure what it is I want, but I know it’s flat and it has caramel and whip cream and it’s a cappuccino.”

    Me: “I think I know what you want. It’s blended and frozen, like a milkshake but with coffee.”

    Customer: “Maybe, I’m just not sure. I always get my granddaughter to order it for me because she speaks the coffee language.”

    (This goes on until I convince her to just come to the window and describe it to me in person. One of my fellow baristas helps her to realize that she does, in fact, want what I think she wants).

    Customer: “Yeah, one of those crappuccinos. That’s it…”

    Some Films Are Just Sick

    | Victoria, BC, Canada | Funny Names, Movies & TV, Rude & Risque

    Customer: “Wow, I haven’t been to this theater since that movie Sex in the Time of Gonorrhea!”

    Me: “Um, what?”

    Customer: “Oops! I mean Love! Love in the Time of Gonorrhea“.

    Customer’s Friend: “I think you mean Love in the Time of Cholera.”

    Customer: “Isn’t that what I said?”

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