Category: Funny Names

If there’s one common mistake that all stupid customers have made, it is that simple error of getting a name wrong. Be it a product, a person, a store or a place, these simplest of gems often have the most horrific and memorable results…

Fauxxx Pas

| Pittsburgh, PA, USA | Funny Names, Rude & Risque

Customer: “Hi, do you have coitus?”

Me: *pause* “Excuse me?”

Customer: “Coitus! Do you have coitus?!”

Me: “Alright, sir, I really hope I’m understanding you wrong, so I need you to say what you want a bit slower.”

(He thinks for a long time, then slowly says the word, drawing out every letter.)

Customer: “Curtains?”

Killing One Cold Bird With Two Stores

| Melbourne, Australia | Food & Drink, Funny Names, Top

Customer: *throws bag of food at me* “It’s f***ing cold! Your chicken is terrible and the bun is stale!”

Me: “Uh, this is–”

Customer: “No, shut up! You guys always f*** me over, you’re not getting away with it today!”

Me: “You didn’t–”

Customer: “Fine! Get your manager, if you won’t help me. Enjoy being fired, a**wipe!”

Another customer: “You’re at [fast food outlet], mate. You bought your food from [rival store], next door.”

Customer: “Oh.” *awkward silence* “Can I have that bag back?”

Some Calls Really Push The Envelope

| Australia | Crazy Requests, Funny Names, Technology

Me: “Hi, Welcome to the post office. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I have a problem, I deleted all the messages on my house phone, how do I get them back?”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “Well I only wanted to delete one message on my phone, but they all got erased, can you help me?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I don’t quite understand the problem. You know you have called the postal service, yes?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Well unfortunately I can’t assist you. You may need to ring the manufacturer of the phone and see how to get your messages back.”

Customer: “But it’s voice-mail! Mail! Why can’t you help me?!”

Hugh Do You Think You Are

| Tucson, AZ, USA | Funny Names, Technology

Me: *wrapping up the call* “Thank’s very much Hugh! Was
there anything else?”

Caller: “And what was your name? Oh Emma, right.”

Me: “My name is Uma.”

Caller: “Yuma?”

Me: “Like Uma Thurman.”

Caller: “Oh, like the actress? Are you as pretty as she is? Do you look like her?”

Me: “No. Do you look like Hugh Grant? Or Hugh Jackman?”

Caller: “Try Hugh Hefner.”

When Bygones Mean Bi-Gones

| Kentucky, USA | Funny Names, Language & Words, Tourists/Travel

Me: “You’re not from around here are you?”

Customer: “Nope, I’m from Canada.”

Me: “Oh cool! Do you speak French?”

Customer: “Yup, I’m bilingual.”

Other Customer In Line: “Down here, if something’s bi, we shoot it.”

Page 21/25First...1920212223...Last