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    Category: Funny Names

    If there’s one common mistake that all stupid customers have made, it is that simple error of getting a name wrong. Be it a product, a person, a store or a place, these simplest of gems often have the most horrific and memorable results…

    Try Not To Read Too Much Into It

    | Winchester, UK | Books & Reading, Family & Kids, Funny Names, Holidays, Top

    (A six or seven year old boy comes into the children’s bookstore, his mother trailing behind him.)

    Mother: “Go on then! Ask! She won’t know what you’re talking about and then you can stop wasting my time!”

    Boy: “Hello!”

    Me: “Hello.”

    Boy: “I want a book.”

    Me: “Well you’re in the right place.”

    Boy: “It’s about a boy. Who lives with a caveman. He’s got a funny name beginning with ‘S’.”

    Mother: “There. Now you know there’s no such book.”

    Me: “That wouldn’t be ‘Stig of the Dump’ would it?”

    Boy: *jumping up and down* “Yes yes yes! I told you mummy!”

    Mother: “Don’t contradict me in front of my son!” *starts walking her son out of the shop and still talking to me* “You read too many books!”

    Taking Their Sweet Time

    | Tacoma, WA, USA | Books & Reading, Funny Names, Top

    Customer: “I’m looking for a book called Like Watery Chocolate For Chocolately Water or something.”

    Me:Like Water For Chocolate by Laura Esquivel?”

    Customer: “Um…no…it’s by this Mexican author.”

    Me: “Yes, Laura Esquivel. The book is Like Water For Chocolate.”

    Customer: “No, it has all these recipes in it.”

    Me: “Yes. Like Water For Chocolate by Laura Esquivel.’

    Customer: “No it has like this blue cover.”

    Me: “Yes. Like Water For Chocolate by Laura Esquivel. I can take you right to it, ma’am.”

    Customer: “No, that’s not it! They’re making a movie out of it!”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am. The book is Like Water For Chocolate.”

    Customer: “No! Oh, you’re just no help at all!” *stomps off*

    Buffalos In The Mist

    | Ontario, Canada | Food & Drink, Funny Names, Pets & Animals

    Customer: “I’m looking for some cheese, but I can’t remember what it’s called.”

    Me: “Well, we carry over 100 different kinds of cheese. Is there anything that you know about it?”

    Customer: “It’s a type of Parmesan cheese, and I think it was made from gorilla milk.”

    Me: “Gorilla? Uh, do you mean buffalo?”

    Customer: “They’re the same thing!”

    All Style, No Substance

    | Ann Arbor, MI, USA | Funny Names

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Hair Salon]. How may I assist you?”

    Customer: “Yes, I was in there last week and I got my hair done by [stylist].”

    Me: “Okay. Is there a problem?”

    Customer: “No, I think it looks great.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, I’m a little confused. Is there something I can help you with?”

    Customer: “Well, I’d like to come back in and have it re-done.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I thought you said you liked it. Is there a problem?”

    Customer: “Every time [stylist] does my hair my friends all tell me how great it looks, this time no one has even noticed I got it done. I’d like to come back in and have it re-done so people will notice it.”

    Me: “Well, [stylist] is very busy this week. I’m not sure if he will be able to get you in.”

    Customer: “But what am I supposed to do?!”

    (By this time I had looked up her name from the caller ID and found the day she came in 6 days prior.)

    Me: “I was here last Tuesday and I remember when you left, your hair looked amazing!”

    Customer: “Oh really? Great! Tell [stylist] I’ll see him for my next appointment in 7 weeks, and I want the color he did this time. I just love it!”

    Not To La-Boar The Point, Part 3

    | Knoxville, TN, USA | Food & Drink, Funny Names

    Customer: *places foil wrapped ham on counter* “I ordered a spiral sliced ham and you gave me a turkey!”

    Me: “Okay, let me just see the turkey.” *I open the foil and see that it is definitely a ham* “Ma’am, this is a ham.”

    Customer: “No, it’s not. That is a turkey! I think I know what ham looks like.”

    Me: “Can you see the bone and the pinkish color? The turkey is boneless and white.”

    Customer: “I know what a ham looks like and that is a turkey!”

    Me: “I assure you it’s a ham. Would you like to sample it?”

    (She samples the ham and looks flustered.)

    Customer: “Oh just give me whatever the h*** that thing is!”

    Related:
    Not To La-Boar The Point, Part 2
    Not To La-Boar The Point

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