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    Category: Funny Names

    If there’s one common mistake that all stupid customers have made, it is that simple error of getting a name wrong. Be it a product, a person, a store or a place, these simplest of gems often have the most horrific and memorable results…

    Needs To Board A School Bus

    | BC, Canada | Funny Names, Transportation

    (I work at a bus depot which has trips running daily to Alberta. I’m not new to the job, and know pretty much all the common destinations.)

    Customer: “My daughter needs a ticket to Dukin.”

    Me: “Dukin? I’ve never heard of it. Where is it?”

    Customer: “In Alberta! I know there’s a bus going to Dukin tonight! She took this trip last month. I know you guys go there, you know, Doo – kin. Dukin!”

    Me: “It’s not in the computer. How do you spell it?”

    Customer: “L – E – D… something…”

    Me: “Leduc?”

    Customer: “Yeah! That’s what I said: Dukin!”

    (She buys tickets regularly now, and calls the city Dukin to this day.!)

    Combo Number Four(skin)

    , | Des Moines, IA, USA | Food & Drink, Funny Names, Health & Body, Rude & Risque

    (I’m working the drive-thru at about nine pm. A car comes up and a teenager gives his order of a burger.)

    Me: “And what size do you want for that?”

    Customer: “Uh… circumcise me!”

    Me: “You mean supersize?”

    Customer: “Yeah! Circumcise me.”

    (He drives to the first window, paying. I stick an extra plastic knife in his bag. When he drives to my window, I hand him his food.)

    Me: “Sir, I included one of our plastic knives. Unfortunately, we can’t perform your request here.”

    Customer: “What?”

    (The girl in the passenger seat, presumably his girlfriend, leans over and whispers in his ear.)

    Customer: *eyes widen and looks at me horrified*

    Me: “You did ask.”

    Customer: *steps on the gas and speeds out of the drive-thru*

    Crappy Management

    | NV, USA | Funny Names, Language & Words, Rude & Risque

    (I work as a cashier. One evening, two customers walk into the store and ask for an exchange. One of the men walks around the store to find what he wants while his friend stays with me. We make small talk while he waits.)

    Customer’s Friend: “You’d make a good manager here.”

    Me: “Thanks, but I don’t think so. I don’t have enough experience here.”

    Customer’s Friend: “You shouldn’t say that about yourself. You’re a wonderful person.”

    Me: “Thank you. But I’ve only worked here for less than a year. I don’t think corporate would let me become a manager yet.”

    Customer’s Friend: “Stop that! You can do anything you want.”

    (At that moment, the customer’s friend returns to the counter. His friend goes over to the other counter to wait with him as one of my managers processes the return. Just as they’re about to leave…)

    Customer’s Friend: “You have to stop being so negative about yourself. It’s not good.”

    Me: “Okay, sir. I won’t.”

    Customer’s Friend: “I’m serious. Don’t self-defecate!”

    Me: “… I won’t, sir. I promise.”

    (I had to wait until they left before I could start laughing. I’m sure his intentions were good, and that he meant to say ‘deprecate’, but his small mistake made my night.)

    They’ll Toast To That

    | Toronto, ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink, Funny Names

    (I am standing in line at a well-known coffee shop, fairly early in the morning. I hear this exchange between an employee and the customer in front of me.)

    Customer: “Hi. Could I get a large coffee toasted with butter?”

    Employee: “… Sorry?”

    (The employee looks like she is trying not to laugh, when the customer suddenly notices what she’s said.)

    Customer: “No! Wait! I mean a large coffee and a BAGEL toasted with butter.”

    (They both burst out laughing.)

    Customer: “Sorry, it’s early. Although if you’re willing to try and toast a coffee with butter, I’ll pay just to see how it turns out!”

    Warning: IQ May Be Inversely Proportional To Wavelength, Part Two

    , | Australia | Extra Stupid, Funny Names, Technology

    (I work in the sporting department with another coworker. A customer comes up.)

    Customer: “Hey, uh, do you have that thing? Where you put stuff in the thing and the thing turns it?”

    (My coworker and I exchange confused glances.)

    Me: “Sorry. What do you mean?”

    Customer: *attempting to use confusing hand gestures* “You know, that thing where you put the stuff in the thing, and it turns and gets hot?”

    Coworker: “You mean a microwave?”

    Related:
    Warning: IQ May Be Inversely Proportional To Wavelength


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