Featured Story:
  • Always Time For A Rhyme
    (2,182 thumbs up)
  • Category: Funny Names

    If there’s one common mistake that all stupid customers have made, it is that simple error of getting a name wrong. Be it a product, a person, a store or a place, these simplest of gems often have the most horrific and memorable results…

    Getting Owned By The Owner, Part 7

    | PA, USA | Funny Names, Liars & Scammers

    Me: “Welcome to [Store]! Let me know if there’s any—”

    Customer: “Oh, I don’t have any questions; my brother works at the Ohio location.”

    Me: “Uhm, are you sure? We don’t have an Ohio location.”

    Customer: “Oh, you don’t know.”

    (She brushes me off and starts shopping. When she’s finished shopping, I start to check her out.)

    Customer: “I should get the employee discount, because of my brother.”

    Me: “Okay. Did he teach you the employee handshake?”

    Customer: “What?”

    Me: “We only give the employee discount to people who know the secret handshake.”

    Customer: “How rude! Let me speak to your manager!”

    Me: “How about the owner instead? That would be me. I own both locations, neither are in Ohio.”

    Related:
    Getting Owned By The Owner, Part 6
    Getting Owned By The Owner, Part 5
    Getting Owned By The Owner, Part 4

    Gives New Meaning To ‘Can I Take Your Order’

    | PA, USA | Bad Behavior, Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink, Funny Names

    (I am in line at a deli. You place your order at the front counter, they make it, call out your name, and you pick it up at the back counter. It’s lunch time, so the line’s out the door.)

    Employee: “Susan!”

    (A male customer in a business suit walks up to the counter.)

    Customer: “What’s the order?”

    Employee: “Chicken noodle soup and grilled cheese.”

    Customer: “No, that’s not it.”

    Employee: “Jerry!”

    Customer: “What’s that order?”

    Employee: “Do you not remember what name your order was under?”

    Customer: “Nah, I just don’t feel like waiting in line, so I figured I’d just wait until a ham and cheese came up, and grab it.”

    A Chain Reaction

    , | TX, USA | Food & Drink, Funny Names, Language & Words

    (I stop at a regional fast food chain restaurant for dinner. As I pay, I accidentally pull out a credit card for a big box chain, but realize my mistake and switch cards before swiping. The cashier talks to someone in the drive-through…)

    Cashier: “Welcome to [Big Box Chain]. I’ll be with you in a minute.”

    (I’m not sure I heard that right, but then…)

    Kitchen Worker: “Uh, [Cashier], you realize this is [Fast Food Chain] and not [Big Box Chain].”

    Me: *loud enough they can hear me in the kitchen* “It’s my fault; I took out my [Fast Food Chain] card and he…” *trail off as I realize* “…now I’m doing it.”

    They’re Back In Action

    | MI, USA | Family & Kids, Funny Names, Technology

    (A lady and her son come into the store I work at and promptly approached the counter to inquire about a certain item.)

    Me: “How’s it going? Were you looking for anything tonight?”

    Mother: “Yeah, my son, he needs the back to a P3.”

    Me: *assuming she means PS3 parts* “Sorry, ma’am, we actually don’t sell parts here. You’d have more luck taking it up the road to another store to be repaired or checking online for it. ”

    Mother: “NO, I need THE BACK to the P3.”

    Me: “Did you need one of the cables that plug into the back? Like a power cable that plugs into the wall or the video cables that go from the back of the PS3 to the TV?”

    Mother: “NO. I JUST NEED THE BACK.”

    Me: *showing her the power and AV cables* “Is this what you’re looking for?”

    Mother: “No, did you find it yet?”

    (Her son who was going through the PS3 accessories on display ever since they walked in, begins yelling:)

    Son: “Look, Ma! The back! I found the back to the P3!”

    (Lo and behold it was the first set of AV cables I showed the mother at the counter.. They left exclaiming how exciting it was to find the back of their PS3 they needed so they could use it again.)

    In A Muddle Over The Mobble

    | Wales | Extra Stupid, Funny Names, Language & Words, Tourists/Travel

    (Most of our visitors are from England, and although we’re familiar with the ‘tourist’ pronunciations of a lot of town names, sometimes they manage to pronounce something so crazy that we have to ask them to spell it, which for us, usually spells trouble…)

    Customer: *a smartly-dressed older lady* “Hi. I want to get to Mobblegarnith.”

    Me: “Mobblegarnith? I’m not sure I’ve ever heard of it. Did you perhaps mean [Town Name In Cheshire]? It’s a good two-and-a-half hours from here.”

    Customer: “It must be near here; I think we passed a sign for it on our way in.”

    Me: “Well, the nearest town to here that begins with ‘M’ is [Town Name].”

    Customer: “No. Not there.”

    Me: “Well, how about [another nearby town name that begins with 'M']?”

    Customer: “No. Not there either.”

    Me: “What about [town that doesn't begin with 'M' but roughly rhymes with the 'garnith' part]?”

    Customer: “No, no, NO, stupid! It’s not there. It’s Mobblegarnith!” *slowly and louder* “MOBBLE. GARNITH!”

    Me: “I’m ever so sorry, but could you spell it for me? Or perhaps tell me a name of another town you passed by where you saw the signs?”

    Customer: “Oh for crying out loud. M. A. C. H. Y—”

    Me: “Oh! You mean Machynlleth?! That’s a good hour from us, and it’s back the way you came from [Their Hometown].”

    Customer: “Yes, finally! Mobblegarnith. I don’t get why you Welsh people have to pronounce it differently just to wind us English up. It’s CLEARLY Mobblegarnith.”

    Me: “I assure you it’s not deliberate. The Welsh alphabet is just a tiny bit bigger than the English one. We actually have 28 letters versus your 26, so we have to combine some of the letters in the alphabet to finish making up our alphabet. The pronunciations are all right once you get used to them, though.”

    Customer: “Don’t lecture me, young lady! Your alphabet is nothing more than silly lies; if you’d been properly educated you’d know how to pronounce all these places. Now, could you please, very kindly, if it is not too much trouble, tell me how to get to Mobblegarnith?”

    Me: “Right, okay. I can print you some map directions if you like?”

    Customer: *sarcastically* “Thank you, you are most kind.”

    Me: *prints maps and hands them to customer* “Here you go! Road directions to Machynlleth. Since you had such trouble getting here, I’ll waive the printing fee.”

    Customer: “For goodness’ sakes, girl, say it PROPERLY.”

    Me: *dying a bit inside* “I hope you have a safe journey to Mobblegarnith.”

    Customer: *gives a satisfied nod, and turns on her heels to leave*

    Page 2/2412345...Last