Category: Funny Names

If there’s one common mistake that all stupid customers have made, it is that simple error of getting a name wrong. Be it a product, a person, a store or a place, these simplest of gems often have the most horrific and memorable results…

Throw In A Chilean For Some Kick

| Winnipeg, MB, Canada | Food & Drink, Funny Names, Uncategorized

(There is a customer in the refrigerated dairy section, looking lost.)

Me: “Can I help you find something?”

Customer: *grabs my arm* “Oh, yes! I’m looking for cheese.”

Me: “Well, it would be in this aisle. What kind of cheese?”

Customer: “You know, it’s white, and has little green flecks of Filipino.”

Me: “Uhm, I don’t think we have that. Do you mean jalapeño?”

Customer: “Yes, that’s it!”

Dog Gone Crazy

| North Miami, FL, USA | Funny Names, Language & Words, Pets & Animals, Uncategorized

(A customer who doesn’t seem to speak much English walks up to me.)

Customer: “Where is chili?”

Me: “Are you looking for chili mix or pre-made chili?”

Customer: “Is chili in can?”

(I tell him where to find the canned chili. A few minutes later, he comes up to me again.)

Customer: “Sorry, I no find it. Help please?”

Me: “Do you know what brand it was?”

Customer: “It has picture of dog.”

Me: “A dog logo? I can’t think of a brand that makes chili and has a dog logo.”

Customer: “Is called… ah… What is it… um… [dog food brand]! Yes, that’s it! [Dog food brand] is name! The one with the dog!”

Me: “Sir… [dog food brand] is a brand of dog food.”

Customer: “Yes! Yes! Is chili with dog picture! Where is it? My family love it!”

Directionless Call, Part 2

| Chicago, IL, USA | Funny Names, Uncategorized

Me: "Hello, this is [Company Name]."

Caller: "Hi, who just called me?"

Me: "I’m not sure. You’ve reached general reception."

Caller: "Well, someone just called me from this number."

Me: "Sorry, but there’s no way for me to tell who called you, as this is the general number."

Customer: "What are you?"

(I explain the company.)

Customer: "I didn’t understand anything about what you just said. Why did you call me?"

Me: "It could be a wrong number."

Customer: "Ugh, fine. Stop wasting my time by calling me if you don’t know who you are, please!"

Related:
Directionless Call

Not Quite Streets Ahead

| USA | At The Checkout, Funny Names, Rude & Risque, Uncategorized

(I am checking out a customer and taking their details.)

Me: “Ma’am, what is your street name?”

Customer: “I don’t really have one of those. I usually just go by Shanice.”

Me: “Uh, ma’am, I meant the street name where you live.”

Customer: “Oh, I knew that!”

Source: Pope Michael

Spelling Gone Rogue

| North Carolina, USA | Funny Names, Technology, Uncategorized

Caller: “I have a question about my account.”

Me: “I’d be happy to help! What email address do you use to log in?”

Caller: “It’s rogue@[email host].com.”

Me: “Sorry sir, I can’t seem to find that email in the system. To confirm, let me spell out the full address: r-o-g-u-e@[email host].com?”

Caller: “No, it’s *****r-o-u-g-e!”

Me: “Oh, “rouge” like the makeup. The word “rogue” is spelled r-o-g-u-e.”

Caller: “That’s not how “rogue” is spelled! I can’t believe how stupid your customer service is!”

Me: “If you want to be sure, you can check a dictionary for the correct spelling.”

Caller: “Fine, I will! I’m going to search dictionary.com right now!”

(A minute passes as he searches.)

Caller: “F***! I’ve been using this email for years! I can’t believe my guild members never pointed this out to me!” *hangs up*

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