Category: Funny Names

If there’s one common mistake that all stupid customers have made, it is that simple error of getting a name wrong. Be it a product, a person, a store or a place, these simplest of gems often have the most horrific and memorable results…

Worst Sequel Ever

| Kitchener, ON, Canada | Funny Names, Movies & TV

(A customer rushes in, looking flustered.)

Customer: “Excuse me! I need that new movie!”

Me: “Which movie is that?”

Customer: “Fury Avengers!”

Me: “…I’m sorry? What’s the name?”

Customer: “Fury Avengers! Fury Avengers! It just came out!”

Me: “Who’s in the movie? I don’t seem to have anything called ‘Fury Avengers’ in our system.”

Customer: “I don’t know who’s in it! It’s called Fury Avengers! Brendan Fury Avengers!”

Me: *light bulb* “OH! Do you mean Furry Vengeance, with Brendan Fraser?”

Customer: “Yes! Whatever it’s called!”

Me: *sigh* “Right this way, sir.”

In Need Of A Four-Letter Word

| NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Funny Names, Money

Customer: “I forgot my account number; can you look it up?”

Me: “Sure. Just tell me how to spell your last name.”

Customer: *gives me a five-letter name*

Me: “I’m sorry; it’s not working. Are you sure it’s spelled [spells out loud]?”

Customer: “Yes, that’s right.”

Me: “I’m sorry; still nothing’s coming up. Are you certain you have an account here?”

Customer: “Yes, I just made a deposit yesterday!”

Me: “I’m sure it’s just something simple; perhaps I’ve spelled your name wrong. Can I see your ID?”

(The customer hands me their ID, at which point I see that the last name is nine letters long.)

Me: “You’ve only been giving me the first five letters of your last name.”

Customer: “What, you need my whole name?”

Getting In A Puff About The Pastry

| Bethesda, Wales, UK | Extra Stupid, Funny Names, Language & Words

Customer: “What’s that?”

Me: “That’s an almond croissant.”

Customer: “What about that one?”

Me: “A chocolate croissant.”

Customer: “And that one?”

Me: “Plain croissant.”

Customer: “Nah. What’s that?”

Me: “Pain au chocolat.”

Customer: “What the f*** does that mean?”

Me: “It’s a pastry with chocolate in it.”

Customer: “So, it’s like nutty, yeah?”

Me: “Well, we can’t guarantee it’s nut free, but the pastry just contains a roll of chocolate paste.”

Customer: “So what does ‘pain’ mean?”

Me: “It’s the French word for ‘bread’.”

Customer: “Oooh! Posh! So what’s ‘chocolat’ mean, peanuts?”

Me: “Nope, ‘chocolat’ is French for ‘chocolate’.”

Customer: “I don’t like France; too artsy-fartsy. I’ll just have one of them chocolate croissants, then.”

Don’t Ask What He Puts In His Granola

| SC, USA | Funny Names

(A customer comes in, and looks confused for several minutes.)

Me: “Sir, can I help you find something?”

Customer: “Where is the yogurt?”

Me: “All of our dairy products are in the cooler.”

Customer: “No, yogurt. You know, yogurt that you put under your arms.”

Me: “…you mean deodorant?”

Customer: “Yes, yogurt!”

Me: “…aisle four.”

How To Devalue Your Crown Jewels

| UK | Funny Names, Rude & Risque

Me: “Are you looking for something in particular, sir?”

Customer: “Yes, do you sell those Chlamydia beads?”

Me: “Uh… do you mean the Chamillia beads?”

Customer: “Yes, why, what did I call them?”

Me: “You don’t want to know what you called them.”

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