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    Category: Funny Names

    If there’s one common mistake that all stupid customers have made, it is that simple error of getting a name wrong. Be it a product, a person, a store or a place, these simplest of gems often have the most horrific and memorable results…

    Killing One Cold Bird With Two Stores

    | Melbourne, Australia | Food & Drink, Funny Names, Top

    Customer: *throws bag of food at me* “It’s f***ing cold! Your chicken is terrible and the bun is stale!”

    Me: “Uh, this is–”

    Customer: “No, shut up! You guys always f*** me over, you’re not getting away with it today!”

    Me: “You didn’t–”

    Customer: “Fine! Get your manager, if you won’t help me. Enjoy being fired, a**wipe!”

    Another customer: “You’re at [fast food outlet], mate. You bought your food from [rival store], next door.”

    Customer: “Oh.” *awkward silence* “Can I have that bag back?”

    Some Calls Really Push The Envelope

    | Australia | Crazy Requests, Funny Names, Technology

    Me: “Hi, Welcome to the post office. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes, I have a problem, I deleted all the messages on my house phone, how do I get them back?”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “Well I only wanted to delete one message on my phone, but they all got erased, can you help me?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but I don’t quite understand the problem. You know you have called the postal service, yes?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Me: “Well unfortunately I can’t assist you. You may need to ring the manufacturer of the phone and see how to get your messages back.”

    Customer: “But it’s voice-mail! Mail! Why can’t you help me?!”

    Hugh Do You Think You Are

    | Tucson, AZ, USA | Funny Names, Technology

    Me: *wrapping up the call* “Thank’s very much Hugh! Was
    there anything else?”

    Caller: “And what was your name? Oh Emma, right.”

    Me: “My name is Uma.”

    Caller: “Yuma?”

    Me: “Like Uma Thurman.”

    Caller: “Oh, like the actress? Are you as pretty as she is? Do you look like her?”

    Me: “No. Do you look like Hugh Grant? Or Hugh Jackman?”

    Caller: “Try Hugh Hefner.”

    When Bygones Mean Bi-Gones

    | Kentucky, USA | Funny Names, Language & Words, Tourists/Travel

    Me: “You’re not from around here are you?”

    Customer: “Nope, I’m from Canada.”

    Me: “Oh cool! Do you speak French?”

    Customer: “Yup, I’m bilingual.”

    Other Customer In Line: “Down here, if something’s bi, we shoot it.”

    When The Only Typing Available Is Stereotyping

    | Elkridge, MD, USA | Extra Stupid, Funny Names, Technology, Top

    Me: “Sir, can I help you?”

    Customer: “I need a cable.”

    Me: “Ok. I’ll take you to our cables, what kind of cable do you need?”

    Customer: “Uhm…. a cable. USB? I need to hook up a computer.”

    Me: “Here are our USB cables, but could you be a little more specific?”

    Customer: *getting angry* “These are not what I need at all! I need a cable! Are you deaf? I need a  C-A-B-L-E. I need one for my computer.”

    Me: “Sir, there are a lot of cables, if you could tell me what kind of thing you were trying to hook up?”

    Customer: “Is there anyone else on the floor that can help me!? Maybe one of the computer guys? You’re obviously too stupid to understand.”

    Me: “Sir, I am the only one on the floor at the moment and I am trying my best to help you find your cable.”

    Customer: “Miss, why don’t you go back to the registers where you belong and bring me a computer guy?”

    Me: “Sir, I am the tech person and would be happy to help you find your cable. Could you show me an example of what you mean?”

    (The customer, extremely agitated, goes to a display computer.)

    Customer: This is what I wanted! A cable!”

    Me: “You mean a keyboard?”

    Customer: “Um…yes.” *sheepishly leaves the store*


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