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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    Category: Funny Names

    If there’s one common mistake that all stupid customers have made, it is that simple error of getting a name wrong. Be it a product, a person, a store or a place, these simplest of gems often have the most horrific and memorable results…

    Had Too Many Muska-Beers

    | Nanaimo, B.C., Canada | Books & Reading, Funny Names, Language & Words

    Me: “Can I help you sir?”

    Customer: “Yes do you have any books by Alexander Dumba**?”

    Me: “I think you mean Alexandre Dumas?”

    Customer: “Oh, is that how you say it?”

    Prices Also Listed For Karate Kids

    | Mammoth Lakes, CA, USA | Funny Names, Language & Words, Movies & TV

    (The movie theater is small and only shows two movies. This week we were playing Grown Ups and another movie. A customer stands outside the box office looking very confused.)

    Me: “Can I help you?”

    Customer: “I’m confused about the movie times.”

    (I print out the movie schedule and hand it to her. She looks at it for a minute but still looks lost.)

    Customer: “No, it doesn’t help. It shows the times that you let the grown-ups in, but it says nothing about the children.”

    Ooooooooh Dear

    | Fort Kent, MN, USA | Funny Names

    (I am stocking shelves, a customer comes up asking for assistance to find an item.)

    Customer: “I need to find some Eight O’s corn.”

    Me: “I’m not familiar with that brand, ma’am, but I will do my best to help. Are you looking for corn that is fresh, frozen or canned?”

    Customer: “How am I supposed to know that? It’s Eight O’s corn!”

    Me:  “Well, is it cold?”

    Customer: “Yes!”

    Me: “It is probably in our frozen section, then. Let’s go take a look.”

    (After pointing out our selection of frozen corn, she picks up a bag of store brand frozen corn excitedly.)

    Customer: “This is it! Eight O’s!”

    (I look at the item and see she has picked up an 8 oz. bag).

    Cinnamon Puns

    | North Bay, ON, Canada | Books & Reading, Funny Names, Language & Words, Top

    Customer: “Our daughter is looking for a book called Antonyms and Cinnamons.”

    (I type it into our search system, but no dice.)

    Me: “Would you know the author’s name?”

    Customer: “No, I forget. It was something weird though. She wrote it down, but I forget.”

    Me: “Might you mean Antonyms and Synonyms?”

    Customer: “Yes! That’s it!”

    (I search again.)

    Me: “Nothing with that exact title is coming up. Was there more to it?”

    Customer: “The author’s name. It was something funny. Sounded like a dinosaur. Wait, I think I might have it here.”

    (She searches through her pockets and fishes out a little folded piece of paper.)

    Customer: “Here it is. Antonyms and Cinnamons by Theo Saurus!’”

    A-Paul-ing Service

    | Carpinteria, CA, USA | Funny Names

    (I am making drinks and I notice a small mocha for Paul. We have a regular customer named Paul who always orders a small mocha, but at that moment I couldn’t remember whether or not he liked it with whipped cream.)

    Me: *calling out* “Paul? Did you want whipped cream on your mocha?”

    Customer: *not a regular* “Yes, I wanted whipped cream.”

    (I realize that this might be a drink for a different customer also named Paul. I add the whipped cream and hand it off with a smile.)

    Me: “Here you go, a small mocha with whipped cream. Have a nice day, Paul.”

    Customer: “I ordered a large.”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. Let me remake that for you.”

    (I make a new drink, figuring that one of my co-workers might have grabbed the wrong size in the rush.)

    Me: “Here’s your large mocha with whipped cream. Sorry for the mix-up, Paul.”

    Customer: “I ordered a pumpkin spice latte.”

    (I start my third attempt at making a drink for this customer.)

    Customer: “…and my name isn’t Paul.”


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