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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    Category: Funny Names

    If there’s one common mistake that all stupid customers have made, it is that simple error of getting a name wrong. Be it a product, a person, a store or a place, these simplest of gems often have the most horrific and memorable results…

    Undeserved Credit

    | Ohio, USA | Funny Names

    Me: “Thank you for calling. How may I help you today?”

    Caller: *yelling* “I want to make sure that idiot woman I spoke with a little while ago credited my card back because I think she was stupid and didn’t know what she was doing!”

    Me: “Okay, I’ll be happy to check on that credit for you today. After looking at the account, it looks like it was credited back to the credit card as stated it would be.”

    Caller: “Are you sure that idiot did it? She sounded like a liar to me!”

    (After looking closer at the account, I see it was me who spoke to her last.)

    Me: “Yes, ma’am, I did take care of that credit just like I said I would when you called me a little while ago.”

    Caller: *silence* “Uh… I knew you would. You’re such a sweet girl!”

    Rich Has Checked Out

    | Michigan, USA | Funny Names

    (This is an independent bank with only four loan officers.)

    Me: “Here’s you receipt. Are you all set?”

    Customer: “I need to speak with my loan officer for a minute.”

    Me: “Okay, that’s Joe. Let me check if he’s available.”

    Customer: “No! Rich is my loan officer.”

    Me: “No, Joe is. He talked to you last week, remember? Tall guy with a moustache?”

    Customer: “Rich has been my loan officer for eight years. I want to speak with him!”

    Me: “Rich died three years ago.”

    Customer: *silence*

    Me: “So, I’ll get Joe?’”

    Customer: “Right, Joe.”

    Perturbed By The Verb

    | Queens, NY, USA | Funny Names, Politics

    Caller: “You need to do something about that new surf shop. You need to shut them down.”

    Me: “Ma’am, we can’t just shut the surf shop down, but why don’t you tell me the problem?”

    Caller: “Well, they’re very inappropriate! My teenage daughter walked by the other day, and they ‘Googled’ her!”

    Me: “They ‘Googled’ your daughter?”

    Caller: “Yes!”

    Me: “As she walked by?”

    Caller: “That’s what I’m telling you!”

    Me: “Do you mean they ‘ogled’ her?”

    Caller: “Same thing!”

    Stupidity That Makes You Go Wow

    | Henderson, NV, USA | Funny Names, Technology

    Customer: “I wanted to know about SEO. What’s that?”

    Me: “SEO is Search Engine Optimization. In a nutshell, I can help you to get noticed by search engines.”

    Customer: “So, you’re SEO are you? I want to meet him.”

    Me: “I don’t understand. What do you mean?”

    Customer: “SEO is the name of a friend of mine in World of Warcraft. Are you him? Hey! How are you? I didn’t know you did web sites!”

    Fauxxx Pas

    | Pittsburgh, PA, USA | Funny Names, Rude & Risque

    Customer: “Hi, do you have coitus?”

    Me: *pause* “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “Coitus! Do you have coitus?!”

    Me: “Alright, sir, I really hope I’m understanding you wrong, so I need you to say what you want a bit slower.”

    (He thinks for a long time, then slowly says the word, drawing out every letter.)

    Customer: “Curtains?”


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