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  • Category: Funny Names

    If there’s one common mistake that all stupid customers have made, it is that simple error of getting a name wrong. Be it a product, a person, a store or a place, these simplest of gems often have the most horrific and memorable results…

    No Common Scents

    | North Riverside, IL, USA | Funny Names, Health & Body

    (I work at a store that specializes in body-care; lotions, perfumes, shower gel, all that good smelling stuff. I’m at the register, and three customers come up to check out.)

    Me: “Hi ladies, did you find everything you were looking for today?”

    (All three of them ignore me for the most part, save for some brief nods. Eventually, as I’m ringing up their purchase, they start talking amongst themselves about their purchases.)

    Customer #1: “What fragrance is this?”

    Customer #2: “It’s Pink Chiggon; it says right on the label!”

    Customer #1: “Chiggon? I can’t read that!”

    Customer #2: “It’s right there on the label, girl!”

    Customer #3: “It’s not Chiggon, it’s CHITTOF.”

    Customer #1: “Chittof?”

    Customer #3: “Yea!”

    (All this time, I’ve been ringing them up in silence and ever-growing amusement. Finally, I decide to pipe up.)

    Me: “Ma’am, it’s Pink Chiffon.”

    All Three: “That’s what I said!”

    You Really Don’t Want That On An Open Wound

    | Canada | Funny Names, Health & Body

    (I’m currently doing inventory at the local pharmacy where I work. An older customer comes up to me with her friend, in a panic.)

    Customer: “Can you help me?! I need some ‘Polysperm’!”

    (I assume she means ‘Polysporin’, the topical ointment that treats infections.)

    Me: “Did you mean ‘Polysporin’?”

    Customer: “Oh, no! I DEFINITELY need some ‘Polysperm’!”

    Me: “I’m sorry; I haven’t heard of that product. May I ask what you are using it for?”

    Customer: “Oh, I scraped my elbow, and want to put that ‘Polysperm’ on it!”

    Me: “Okay, let me show you where it’s stocked.”

    (I point to the display of ‘Polysporin’.)

    Customer: *to her friend* “Young kids these days! They don’t know anything!”

    Worst Sequel Ever

    | Kitchener, ON, Canada | Funny Names, Movies & TV

    (A customer rushes in, looking flustered.)

    Customer: “Excuse me! I need that new movie!”

    Me: “Which movie is that?”

    Customer: “Fury Avengers!”

    Me: “…I’m sorry? What’s the name?”

    Customer: “Fury Avengers! Fury Avengers! It just came out!”

    Me: “Who’s in the movie? I don’t seem to have anything called ‘Fury Avengers’ in our system.”

    Customer: “I don’t know who’s in it! It’s called Fury Avengers! Brendan Fury Avengers!”

    Me: *light bulb* “OH! Do you mean Furry Vengeance, with Brendan Fraser?”

    Customer: “Yes! Whatever it’s called!”

    Me: *sigh* “Right this way, sir.”

    In Need Of A Four-Letter Word

    | NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Funny Names, Money

    Customer: “I forgot my account number; can you look it up?”

    Me: “Sure. Just tell me how to spell your last name.”

    Customer: *gives me a five-letter name*

    Me: “I’m sorry; it’s not working. Are you sure it’s spelled [spells out loud]?”

    Customer: “Yes, that’s right.”

    Me: “I’m sorry; still nothing’s coming up. Are you certain you have an account here?”

    Customer: “Yes, I just made a deposit yesterday!”

    Me: “I’m sure it’s just something simple; perhaps I’ve spelled your name wrong. Can I see your ID?”

    (The customer hands me their ID, at which point I see that the last name is nine letters long.)

    Me: “You’ve only been giving me the first five letters of your last name.”

    Customer: “What, you need my whole name?”

    Getting In A Puff About The Pastry

    | Bethesda, Wales, UK | Extra Stupid, Funny Names, Language & Words

    Customer: “What’s that?”

    Me: “That’s an almond croissant.”

    Customer: “What about that one?”

    Me: “A chocolate croissant.”

    Customer: “And that one?”

    Me: “Plain croissant.”

    Customer: “Nah. What’s that?”

    Me: “Pain au chocolat.”

    Customer: “What the f*** does that mean?”

    Me: “It’s a pastry with chocolate in it.”

    Customer: “So, it’s like nutty, yeah?”

    Me: “Well, we can’t guarantee it’s nut free, but the pastry just contains a roll of chocolate paste.”

    Customer: “So what does ‘pain’ mean?”

    Me: “It’s the French word for ‘bread’.”

    Customer: “Oooh! Posh! So what’s ‘chocolat’ mean, peanuts?”

    Me: “Nope, ‘chocolat’ is French for ‘chocolate’.”

    Customer: “I don’t like France; too artsy-fartsy. I’ll just have one of them chocolate croissants, then.”

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