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    Category: Funny Names

    If there’s one common mistake that all stupid customers have made, it is that simple error of getting a name wrong. Be it a product, a person, a store or a place, these simplest of gems often have the most horrific and memorable results…

    Getting In A Puff About The Pastry

    | Bethesda, Wales, UK | Extra Stupid, Funny Names, Language & Words

    Customer: “What’s that?”

    Me: “That’s an almond croissant.”

    Customer: “What about that one?”

    Me: “A chocolate croissant.”

    Customer: “And that one?”

    Me: “Plain croissant.”

    Customer: “Nah. What’s that?”

    Me: “Pain au chocolat.”

    Customer: “What the f*** does that mean?”

    Me: “It’s a pastry with chocolate in it.”

    Customer: “So, it’s like nutty, yeah?”

    Me: “Well, we can’t guarantee it’s nut free, but the pastry just contains a roll of chocolate paste.”

    Customer: “So what does ‘pain’ mean?”

    Me: “It’s the French word for ‘bread’.”

    Customer: “Oooh! Posh! So what’s ‘chocolat’ mean, peanuts?”

    Me: “Nope, ‘chocolat’ is French for ‘chocolate’.”

    Customer: “I don’t like France; too artsy-fartsy. I’ll just have one of them chocolate croissants, then.”

    Don’t Ask What He Puts In His Granola

    | SC, USA | Funny Names

    (A customer comes in, and looks confused for several minutes.)

    Me: “Sir, can I help you find something?”

    Customer: “Where is the yogurt?”

    Me: “All of our dairy products are in the cooler.”

    Customer: “No, yogurt. You know, yogurt that you put under your arms.”

    Me: “…you mean deodorant?”

    Customer: “Yes, yogurt!”

    Me: “…aisle four.”

    How To Devalue Your Crown Jewels

    | UK | Funny Names, Rude & Risque

    Me: “Are you looking for something in particular, sir?”

    Customer: “Yes, do you sell those Chlamydia beads?”

    Me: “Uh… do you mean the Chamillia beads?”

    Customer: “Yes, why, what did I call them?”

    Me: “You don’t want to know what you called them.”

    Initially Incorrect, But They Nipped It In The Bud

    | St. Louis, MO, USA | Funny Names, Language & Words

    (I work at a design firm. A few of our designers have special design achievements that are abbreviated in initials in a smaller script after their name on their business card. I am working in our showroom when a customer comes up to me with a question.)

    Customer: “Excuse me. I am looking for the young man I was talking to earlier.”

    Me: “Sure, we have several male designers here. Do you remember his name?”

    Customer: “No, but he gave me his business card.”

    (She looks around confused for a moment, then her face lights up when she remembers something.)

    Customer: “He has really small nipples!”

    Me: “Excuse me!”

    Customer: “Nipples.”

    Me: “Uhm… anything more descriptive?”

    (A look of horror crosses her face as she realizes what she has said.)

    Customer:Initials! After his name on his card, he has really small initials.”

    Darn-Fangled Dangle

    | Adelaide, SA, Australia | Funny Names, Technology, Theme Of The Month

    Me: “Welcome to [name of ISP] support. This is [my name]; how can I help?”

    Customer: “I have a new dangler!”

    Me: *stifling a laugh* “I’m sorry, I didn’t quite hear you. Could you repeat that?”

    Customer: “I. HAVE. A. DANGLER!”

    Me: “I see, and what help might I offer you today?”

    Customer: “My dangler isn’t working! Fix my dangler!”

    (I realize she is talking about a mobile broadband ‘dongle’. I run through some basic troubleshooting, and fix the problem.)

    Customer: “Thank you for your help! I do hate danglers, they never work the way you want them to!”

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