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    Category: Funny Names

    If there’s one common mistake that all stupid customers have made, it is that simple error of getting a name wrong. Be it a product, a person, a store or a place, these simplest of gems often have the most horrific and memorable results…

    Yes, Master

    | Denver, CO, USA | Extra Stupid, Funny Names

    Me: “I would be happy to process that payment for you today. First, could I have the name exactly how it appears on the card?”

    Customer: “Master Card.”

    Me: “Oh, no, I’m sorry. I am looking for the human’s name that is on the card.”

    Customer: “Capital One.”

    Me: “No, not that one; the human’s name that is on the card.”

    Customer: “I already told you, it’s Master Card!”

    Get The Correct Word, Step By Step

    | Omaha, NE, USA | Funny Names, Spouses & Partners

    (I’m stocking the shelves in the electronics/gadgets section when a husband and wife come over. The husband is shouting behind the wife.)

    Husband, to me: “Pedometer! She wants a PEDOMETER!”

    Wife, to husband: “Shut up! I know what I want!”

    Husband: “Tell her it’s a Pedometer!”

    Wife, to me: “Hi, do you have any pedofi–”

    Me: “Pedometers!”

    Throw Your Claims Up At Me

    | UK | Funny Names, Language & Words

    (I am asking a customer if there were any independent witnesses to an accident. To make it clear, an independent witness is one not known previously to either party.)

    Me: “Were there any independent witnesses?”

    Customer: “Well, there was a 92 year old woman.”

    Me: “Excellent. Is she known to either party?”

    Customer: “Oh yes. I was taking her for her weekly shop at the time.”

    Me: “Right. Well, I don’t think we can class her as an independent witness but we can still take a statement if necessary.”

    Customer: “Oh, but she is independent! She lives by herself and does all her housework by herself! We only help out with taking her shopping because she can’t drive!”

    Language Barrier Drives A Wedge Between Us

    | Louisville, KY, USA | Food & Drink, Funny Names, Language & Words

    (Our snack bar sell typical snack bar type stuff, like popcorn and pretzels, as well as pizzas. Two clearly foreign women come to the counter and look at the menu for a few moments.)

    Me: “What can I get you tonight?”

    Customer #1: “You have pizza?”

    Me: “Yes, I have a cheese pizza coming out of the oven in just a minute, and a pepperoni ready right now.”

    Customer #1: “You have wedgie?”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer #2: “You have wedgie deluxe?”

    Me: “I don’t think so.”

    (I suddenly realize that they’re trying to say ‘Veggie’.)

    Me: “No, we don’t. We only have cheese and pepperoni.”

    Customer #1: “No wedgie toppings?”

    Me: *trying very hard not to crack up laughing* “No, sorry, just cheese and pepperoni.”

    (They thank me and walk away. A few moments later, they return and order the cheese pizza.)

    Customer #1: “You should get wedgie. I love it.”

    Willy Always Was A Bit Wonky

    , | Chicago, IL, USA | Food & Drink, Funny Names

    Me: “Hi, how are you today?”

    Customer: “Yes, I would like an oompa loompa.”

    Me: “Oompa loompa?”

    Customer: “Yes, one of those caramel apple oompa loompas!”

    Me: “Do you mean an empinada?”

    Customer: “That’s exactly what I said.”


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