Category: Funny Names

If there’s one common mistake that all stupid customers have made, it is that simple error of getting a name wrong. Be it a product, a person, a store or a place, these simplest of gems often have the most horrific and memorable results…

The Heavenly Penny Finally Dropped

| Salt Lake City, UT, USA | At The Checkout, Funny Names, Movies & TV, Rude & Risque

(I work in a small local library. A patron comes up to the front desk with a mischievous look in his eye. He plunks down a stack of movies.)

Patron: “I didn’t know you guys had stuff like this.”

(Not everyone knows that we lend videos and music, so I start on my standard ‘things you can get from the library’ spiel.)

Patron: “No, man, I know about that! I meant porn!”

Me: “Wha?”

Patron: “Like this one, here!”

(He holds up an old VHS.)

Patron:Penis from Heaven!”

Me: “‘Pennies,'” sir. It’s Pennies from Heaven.”

Patron: “Oh. Well, you can keep it, then.”

Suddenly Not Feeling So Hot

| NC, USA | Funny Names, Health & Body

(The male in this story is a regular customer who has become a really good friend. Working the door at a Gentlemen’s Club, I have to use a fake name at work. When at work, the regular customer refuses to call me by my fake name, which is ‘Jessica.’)

Regular: “Sandy! How’s Monday going?”

Me: “Okay, slow, but the name’s not Sandy. That’s not even my real name. You know that.”

Regular: “I know. You’re just… not a Jessica. I can’t call you Jessica.”

Me: “What exactly makes me ‘not a Jessica’?”

Regular: *pauses* “Well, because I know another Jessica, and she’s really hot.”

Me: “…”

Regular: “I gotta go study. See you later!”

Club Manager: *over radio* “Did he… did he really just say that?”

Books Are Going The Way Of The Dinosaur

| AK, USA | Books & Reading, Funny Names, Language & Words

Me: “Hi. What can I help you find today?”

Customer: “I want to find a book.”

Me: “What book are you looking for?”

Customer: “I’m looking for that book with a bunch of words in it that sounds like a dinosaur?”

Me: *stares for a moment* “…a thesaurus?”

Customer: “Yes!”

Where Blow Dry Has Another Meaning

| Sydney, NSW, Australia | Funny Names, Rude & Risque

(I work at a shopping centre. A customer approaches the desk to ask for directions to a shop.)

Me: “Hi! How may I help you?”

Customer: “Hi. Where is ‘Hairhouse Whorehouse?’”

Me: “Um? Do you mean ‘Hairhouse Warehouse?’”

Customer: “…Oh, god! What did I just say?!”

How To Make Your Cake Extra ‘Special’

| NC, USA | Food & Drink, Funny Names

(I am helping a customer place an order for two cakes.)

Me: “Okay, that’s about everything. Did you want anything written on the cakes?”

Customer: “I’m not sure.” *turns to his wife* “Honey, what should I have written on the cakes? How about ‘Pot’ on one and ‘Luck’ on the other since it’s a potluck?”

Customer’s Wife: “Are you asking if I think you should have ‘Pot’ written on a cake?”

Customer: “Good point. No, nothing written on them.”

Me: “Sounds like a good choice.”

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