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    Category: Wild & Unruly

    His Excuse Is A Total Cop Out

    | SC, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Health & Body, Wild & Unruly

    (I work for security in a very rural hospital and am dealing with a very unruly patient who isn’t allowed to leave due to medication he has taken.)

    Me: “Sir, I just want to make you aware that because of the medications you have taken, for your safety, I need you to go back inside and call a ride to pick you up.”

    Patient: “F*** you! I’m an adult! I’ll do what i want!”

    Me: “Sir, I understand that you don’t feel well, and I’m trying to be nice to you. So, will you please return to the ER?”

    Patient: “F*** YOU!”

    (I notify my partner of the incident and the police are called to deal with the individual. As we await the police, the patient comes back to the ER lobby and confronts the very outspoken desk clerk who has no idea what is going on.)

    Patient: “WHO SENT THAT RENT-A-COP OUTSIDE TO WATCH ME LIKE A CHILD?!”

    Desk Clerk: “Can I help you?”

    Patient: “I want to speak to the rent-a-cop who followed me to my vehicle to watch me like I’m some three-year-old! I’ll have him know that I’m very good friends with the owner of his company and I’ve been a security guard for over 10 years!”

    Desk Clerk: “Well, sir, wouldn’t that make you a rent-a-cop, too?”

    Patient: “That’s not the same!”

    (As the patient is leaving, he has one more question.)

    Patient: “Hey, man. I would like to apologize for the behavior. It was the meds talking. But I do have a question.”

    Me: “What’s that?”

    Patient: “Are y’all hiring?”

    Popped Off

    | Canada | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Theme Of The Month, Wild & Unruly

    (A customer walks into the store and walks over to the service desk with a cart FULL of pop.)

    Customer: “I want to return this pop. I didn’t seem to need it.”

    Coworker: “I’m sorry, sir, but this isn’t a brand we carry. You have to buy the pop here at our store in order to return it here.”

    Customer: “I bought them here last week! I just want my d*** money back!”

    Coworker: “Do you have a receipt?”

    Customer: “I don’t have my d*** receipt. Don’t you have it on file?”

    Coworker: “I apologize, but we don’t.”

    (The customer immediately kicks over the whole cart of 30 bottles of pop and storms away. We all stand there in shock after, but on a positive note we all got to keep the pop that he had left behind!)

    Rage Against The Machine, Part 2

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | Extra Stupid, Technology, Wild & Unruly

    (I am a regular at an internet cafe and am quite friendly with the staff. I’m at the front counter chatting with one of them, while there is a young lady working on one of the computers that’s becoming visibly more and more frustrated. Eventually she slams her fists down on the keyboard. The staff member looks up from our conversation and goes over to see what’s wrong as I listen in.)

    Staff: “I’m going to have to ask you not to do that, miss, or you’ll have to pay for any damages. Is something wrong? Can I help you with anything?”

    Customer: “The computer won’t respond to me! It’s not sending the email I wrote up!”

    Staff: “Okay, I might be able to help you with that. How are you sending the email?”

    Customer: “You don’t understand. The computer won’t respond to me! It won’t do what I want it to!”

    Staff: “I understand, miss, but you’ll need to explain to me exactly what you’re trying to do so I can help you.”

    (Suddenly the customer goes ballistic and starts screaming at the staff member.)

    Customer: “CAN’T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT I HATE COMPUTERS?! I HATE COMPUTERS! I HATE COMPUTERS! I HATE COMPUTERS!”

    (With this the customer picks up the keyboard and slams it down on the desk before pushing past the stunned staff member and running out of the internet cafe. The staff member eventually picks up and unplugs the now broken keyboard as I wander over to him.)

    Me: “Why would she be in here trying to send an email if she hates computers?”

    Staff: “I don’t know, but I’m going to go have a smoke.”

    Related:
    Rage Against The Machine

    Don’t Let Your Hair Down

    | UK | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Money, Wild & Unruly

    (I am a cashier. An older woman and her son come in, and spend about 20 minutes perusing the sweets section, all the while glancing back at me and smiling quite creepily. She finally comes to the counter with two bags of Jelly Babies.)

    Me: “Hi. How are you? Will this be everything?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Me: “That will be £2.10 please.”

    (She gives me a £50 note.)

    Me: *sighing inwardly for having to get such a large amount of change* “Thank you. Here is your change, £47.90.”

    Customer: “No, no, no. I am only paying £1.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but individually they are £1.05. That won’t be enough.”

    Customer: “No, this is not right. I don’t want to pay that.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but the price is clearly marked on the shelf, and they have scanned into to till at the correct price.”

    Customer: “Well, fine, but I want smaller notes in my change.”

    (I oblige, and change out the larger notes for smaller ones, noticing there is now a queue of about 5 people behind her, looking impatient.)

    Me: “Thank you very much. Have a nice day.”

    Customer: “You have nice hair. So long, such a nice colour.”

    Me: “Err, thank you. Is there anything else I can get for you today?”

    Customer: “Yes. No. I don’t want these sweets. Refund me, and I want my £50 note back.”

    (By this point I am getting quite impatient, but I still remain polite, and do as she asks, taking her change back off the counter and putting it back in the till drawer.)

    Me: “Okay. Here is your £50 note. Have a nice day!”

    (The customer suddenly lunges over the counter and grabs my hair, pulling me halfway over the counter, which is quite painful!)

    Customer: “Such nice hair! I want it! SO nice!”

    (I manage to get my hair free and jump back, quite startled.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, but it is not okay for you to invade my personal space and yank my hair. If you do not wish to purchase anything today, then I will have to ask you to leave as you are holding up a line of customers!”

    (The customer gives me a dirty look, practically snarling at me, and flounces out of the shop.)

    Next Customer: “What the h*** was that about?”

    Me: “I… I have no idea.”

    (Apparently the woman came back into the shop later in the week when I am not working, did the same long, drawn out process with the £50, requesting a lower price after the transaction has gone through, and then asking for a refund. She also asked after me, ‘the rude girl with the nice hair.’)

    Guaranteed Room For Improvement

    | USA | Bizarre, Criminal/Illegal, Hotels & Lodging, Wild & Unruly

    (I am checking in a guest. I do the usual: swipe his card, and make the keys.)

    Me: “Here are your keys, sir. Please sign this registration card.”

    Guest: “No problem!” *signs with a flourish and takes keys*

    (The computer beeps, and shows that his card was declined.)

    Me: “Uh, excuse me? Sir? Sir?”

    Guest: *looks over at me while walking away*

    Me: “Your card was declined. Do you have another?”

    Guest: *blank stare* “No.”

    Me: “Well, I’m afraid that I can’t let you have the room unless you give us another method of payment.”

    (I hold my hand out for the keys. The guest clutches them to his chest keeps walking away, faster this time.)

    Me: “Sir, please give me back the keys.”

    Guest: “No! I made a reservation… therefore… I am guaranteed a room! Guaranteed!” *runs off*

    (The guest disappeared in the elevator before I could catch him, and was in his room in a flash. He set the deadbolt and ignored all calls and knocks. Finally the authorities had to BREAK down the door to the room and he was hauled away, yelling that he was ‘guaranteed’ a room and that he would complain to corporate. He did, and was charged for the cost of a new door.)

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