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    Category: Wild & Unruly

    Should Have Stolen Some Military Intelligence

    | Albany, NY, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Liars & Scammers, Military, Wild & Unruly

    (I’m working at the service desk of a large retailer when I’m called into the security office by the asset control associate while he detains and questions a female who was caught shoplifting. I walk in and the girl is obviously in her early 20s. She’s sitting there trying to force out the most fake sobbing I’ve ever seen. Her boyfriend has come in to support her, but at the moment he has to wait outside the room.)

    Coworker: “Alright, well, the police are on the way and the Store Manager is on her way up—”

    Shoplifter: “No! Please! You can’t do this! I can pay for the stuff!”

    Coworker: “Miss, you tried stealing $300 worth of electronics.”

    Shoplifter: “No, you don’t get it! I can pay for it! I was just… I wasn’t thinking! I’ve been really stressed!”

    Coworker: “Stressed enough to try and walk out the front door with groceries covering a blu-ray player?”

    Shoplifter: “Please! I can pay!”

    Coworker: “You had a chance to pay for it when you went through the cash register to pay for your groceries, and you had a chance to pay for it when you walked through the store again, picked it up and walked right by MORE registers to leave with it.”

    Shoplifter: “I just… you’re wearing dog tags, right?! What military branch?”

    Coworker: “Marines.”

    Shoplifter: “Please! My boyfriend is a marine too! He just got back from Afghanistan!”

    Coworker: “Really?”

    (My coworker stands up, opens the door, and looks to her boyfriend who is still standing there waiting.)

    Coworker: “Hey, what military branch were you in?”

    Boyfriend: “Huh? I just finished boot camp for Air Force.”

    Coworker: “Thanks.”

    (My coworker shuts the door, and stares at the shoplifter accusingly.)

    Coworker: “Air Force boot camp? Really? That’s cheap, miss.”

    Shoplifter: “SAME THING!”

    Coworker & Me: “It really isn’t.”

    Shoplifter: “You guys suck! This is so stupid! Let me pay for it! Don’t call the cops! Please!”

    Coworker: “Too late. Speaking of the police, your chariot awaits.”

    (The Store Manager decided to press charges as it turned out she’d stolen from other stores in the area.)

    A Burger, A Side Of Obnoxiousness, Hold The Manners

    , | Germany | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Wild & Unruly

    (I am ordering inside at a fast food restaurant. There aren’t many people inside but several cars lined up outside at the drive in and most burgers are sold out.)

    Me: “I’ll have a [burger].”

    Cashier #1: “Alright, but I fear you’ll have to wait a bit. Those are out right now, and several other customers are waiting for one as well.”

    Me: “That’s not a problem; I’ll just wait here.”

    (I’ve waited for several minutes with my cashier constantly apologizing to me about it taking so long, when another customer stomps in and goes to the next register.)

    Cashier #2: “Welcome, sir, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “I’ll have a [same burger as me] and some fries.”

    Cashier #2: “Yes, sir, I apologize in advance, but the burgers are out at the moment and you’ll need to wait a bit.”

    Customer: “Hmph! You’d better hurry up. I’m paying good money for this.”

    (After about two minutes of waiting, the customer starts to curse at the cashiers about being idiots and not working at all. This goes on for several more minutes until the first burger is done and my cashier starts to pack it up for me.)

    Customer: “Oi, that’s my burger! Give it to me now!”

    Cashier #1: “I’m terribly sorry, sir, but this lady here came in first and therefore it’s hers.”

    Customer: “Stop talking nonsense! Give it to me!”

    Cashier #2: “No, sir, that’s not your burger. We will give it to her.”

    Customer: “I’ve been waiting for ages now. I demand you to give me my burger. NOW!”

    Cashier #1: “But sir it’s—”

    Me: “Ah, just give the burger to him. This poor bloke is probably starving since he lost all his manners already.”

    Cashier #1: “Are you sure about this?”

    Me: “Yep, absolutely. After waiting this long, a few more minutes won’t make it any worse.”

    (The cashier gives the burger to the customer, who immediately retorts…)

    Customer: “Why didn’t you give it to me faster, you idiots?!”

    (I’ve had enough of the customer’s sour attitude and speak up.)

    Me: “For one, because that actually was MY order and I was kind enough to have it. For another, in case you didn’t notice, there is a large line of cars outside waiting and the poor guy in the kitchen is all alone. So stop being an a** and go eat your food which you needed so desperately!”

    Customer: *storms out*

    Cashier #1: “I’m really sorry that you have wait even longer because of him now.”

    Me: “It’s alright. I don’t have anything to do anyway.”

    (After another two minutes, Cashiers #1 and #2 pack my order and add an extra burger.)

    Cashiers #1 & #2: “There you go. A little thank you from all of us!”

    The Engendered Confusion, Part 2

    | St. Paul, MN, USA | Bigotry, Family & Kids, Wild & Unruly

    (I’m in my hometown, babysitting my three-month-old nephew while my brother gets some much-needed sleep. I live on campus nearby, but because I look much younger than I am people tend to assume I’m still in high school. I’m picking up some groceries with my nephew when an older woman grabs my arm.)

    Older Woman: “You ought be be ashamed of yourself! How dare you!”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Older Woman: “Parading your little b*****d around like it’s no big deal to get pregnant and drop out!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I didn’t drop out. I—”

    Older Woman: “Don’t you lie to me, you stupid b****! I’ll have you thrown out of the store!”

    (My nephew begins to cry.)

    Older Woman: “See, look at what an incompetent mother you are! You’re just letting him cry without—”

    Me: “Listen, lady: I don’t know what your problem is, but making my nephew cry because you’re screaming at me is not okay. Even if he was my kid, do you really think it’s okay to yell at a stranger because they may or may not have made a choice you disagree with?”

    (As I say this, I can see the store manager, a close family friend, approach to see what the fuss is about.)

    Older Woman: “I can’t believe you! I’m going to get the manager and he’s going to teach you about respecting your elders, and maybe he’ll teach you to keep your legs closed!”

    Manager: “Don’t bother. You…” *points at her* “…get out of my store, NOW.”

    Older Woman: “I am a paying customer! You cannot—”

    Manager: “I can and I will, and unless you want the police to get involved, you’ll leave now.”

    Older Woman: “This little b****—”

    Manager: “—first of all, is a GUY, and second of all, is on the honor roll at [University], and third, is my son’s best friend and grandson’s babysitter.”

    (At this, the older woman turns red and leaves without buying anything. My nephew stops crying almost immediately.)

    Me: “Thanks, Mr. [Name].”

    Manager: “No problem, kiddo.” *grins* “It was kinda fun getting to yell at her. I’ve just got one question.”

    Me: “Yeah?”

    Manager: “Did she seriously think you were a teenage mother?”

    Me: *shrugs* “Some people…”

    The Engendered Confusion

    Hear Her Evil, See Her Evil, Speak Her Evil

    | USA | Bad Behavior, Health & Body, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (One of my coworkers has partial hearing loss in her right ear, and has a medical condition that has caused her to lose almost all of her peripheral vision in her right eye. On this day, she’s putting away a cartload of items and just happens to be working directly under a speaker. A customer approaches her from the right, and speaks very, very softly.)

    Customer: *very softly* “Excuse me; where are your bedsheets?”

    Coworker: *doesn’t hear her and keeps working*

    Customer: “Excuse me? EXCUSE ME?!”

    (Suddenly, the customer KICKS my coworker in the hip. The kick is so hard that my coworker has to catch herself so she doesn’t fall over.)

    Customer: “How DARE you ignore me?!”

    Coworker: “I’m terribly sorry, ma’am! I didn’t see you.”

    Customer: “Bulls***! I was standing right here! Everyone has peripheral vision!”

    Coworker: “Except for people with vision problems, ma’am. Can I help you?”

    Customer: “Then you should’ve heard me!”

    Coworker: “I also have partial hearing loss, and that…” *points up at the ceiling* “…is a speaker.”

    Customer: “Well, you should be checking every direction for customers every five seconds!”

    Coworker: “Ma’am, is there something I can help you with? I don’t actually work on the sales floor; I work in the stock room, and I have to get back…”

    (My coworker ends up helping the customer and taking her to the bedsheets section. However, later I hear the customer complaining to my manager.)

    Customer: “…and she just ignored me! And then she kicked me and called me a b****!”

    Manager: “I’m so, so so sorry! I’ve never seen her act like that.”

    Me: “…Sir?”

    Manager: “Not now.”

    Me: “But I witnessed the incident.”

    Customer: *goes pale* “I didn’t see you anywhere nearby!”

    Me: “I was ten feet away, in the clothing racks. Ma’am, YOU kicked HER when you thought she was ignoring you and yelled at her.”

    Manager: *lightbulb goes on* “She was on [Coworker]‘s right, wasn’t she?”

    Me: “Yes, sir.”

    Manager: *to the customer* “Well, ma’am, under these circumstances I can’t give you any discounts, nor will I. I’m not giving you anything for free, and I’m going to call corporate myself to tell them what happened. I’ve got video cameras and an employee witness. You assaulted one of my associates. Get out of my store!”

    (The customer did try to call corporate. When they hung up on her, she called the cops, who reviewed the tape and nearly arrested her!)

    Past The Point Of No Return, Part 4

    | West Seattle, WA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Wild & Unruly

    (I work at a pet store as a dog trainer and cashier. My brother drops me off to work, and since he has a cat, he decides to come inside to buy a few things. I clock in and start to ring up a customer’s product.)

    Customer: “Oh, this is a return.”

    Me: “Ah, okay. Do you have your receipt with you?”

    Customer: “No, but I want my money back.”

    Me: “Okay, well [Store] policy says that if you don’t have a receipt, the only thing that I can do is give you store credit. I—”

    Customer: “That is just bull-s***! The other stores in [location] always give me my money back! You are going to give me my money back!”

    Me: “Sir, we don’t have a store in that location. I know what store you are talking about, but they aren’t connected to us.”

    Customer: “I don’t care! You are going to give me my money back! YOU are going to right now!”

    (My brother decides to come to my help.)

    My Brother: “HEY! You do NOT talk to her, or anyone, like that!”

    Customer: “She won’t give me my money back; I want my money back!”

    My Brother: “I get that it’s an inconvenience for you, but she explained the policy to you. You did not have to swear at her like that. You should be ashamed of yourself! There are kids here! That is completely disrespectful!”

    Customer: “You’re right; I’m sorry.”

    My Brother: “Don’t apologize to me; apologize to HER!”

    (My brother then proceeds to point at me. At this point I know just to keep my mouth shut, and let my brother talk. This isn’t the first time he’s saved me from bullying; it has just been years since he had to. The customer does a double take at me, and with much hesitance speaks.)

    Customer: “I’m sorry.”

    (My manager comes up and saves me from the situation.)

    Manager: “Why don’t you finish up with the family I was working with?”

    (I nod. My brother then goes back to finishing his purchase and leaves while I finish up with the family. I start to walk away when I hear the customer again, talking to my manager.)

    Customer: “I want you to know that I am NEVER coming here again! This is NOT how you treat customers! We are always right!”

    Manager: “Well, sir, she did try to explain the policy to you, and you did interrupt her. Had you let her finish, she’d have told you that only a manager would take care of what you wanted.”

    Customer: “She didn’t explain anything to me! I am going to write a horrendous report and shut you guys down!”

    Manager: “Well, that’s alright sir; I hope you have a nice day and good luck with another store.”

    (He then storms out. The rest of the day I worry that I might have got the store in trouble. The next day someone who witnessed the whole thing sent a report to corporate and explained, in detail, everything that happened and that I, nor the store, did anything wrong. To this day I have no clue who it was that sent in that report, but they might’ve saved my job, and definitely made my day. Faith in humanity restored!)

    Past The Point Of No Return, Part 3
    Past The Point Of No Return, Part 2
    Past The Point Of No Return

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