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    Category: Wild & Unruly

    The Return Of The Ninja

    | NH, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Wild & Unruly

    (I have a 14-hour shift because a friend of mine is out sick as she is having surgery. It’s about eight hours into the day, and a customer comes in, with something in a paper bag and a giant scowl on her face.)

    Me: “Hello, Ma’am. How may I help you today?”

    Guest: “Yes. I’d like to return this, please? Here’s my receipt, and I want the full amount back.”

    Me: “Yes, Ma’am. I’ll do what I can.”

    (I go to scan the receipt, and it’s declined, because she’s had the items for more than 90 days. We aren’t allowed to return things over that limit without a supervisor’s approval.)

    Me: “I’m very sorry ma’am, but my system is showing me that I can’t return these, due to the fact you purchased them more than 90 days ago.”

    Guest: “That’s f****** stupid! I demand to speak with your supervisor! I work in retail, and we return everything the guest gives us!”

    (I look over, and see my supervisor is busy dealing with another customer.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. If you’d just wait right over here for a moment, I’m sure he’ll be with you very shortly.”

    Guest: “No! I’ll not be treated this way!”

    (She takes out her purse, and slams her bag down on the guest services counter, throwing her store card and three gift cards at my face. I catch one, and dodge the others.)

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m going to have to ask you to leave, please. We do not allow that kind of behavior here. I’m very sorry for any inconvenience.”

    Guest: “You know what? You’re simply a stupid little s*** with no chance at ever being successful, or pretty!” *storms out*

    Customer In Line Behind Her: “Well, I never! Miss, you are beautiful, very kind, and I’m in awe of your ninja skills!”

    Me: “Thank you, ma’am. I appreciate it!”

    Driven Over The Edge

    , | TX, USA | Bad Behavior, Criminal/Illegal, Transportation, Wild & Unruly

    (My mother and I are entering a parking lot with the intent to go shopping when a large blue truck turns down the wrong lane and cuts us off. Trying to be courteous, my mom hurries to park in the nearest lot to allow him through. He sits there instead.)

    Driver: “F****** b**** driver.”

    Mom: “Excuse me?”

    Driver: “Yeah, I’m talking to you. You f****** b****es need to learn how to drive. You were going way too f****** fast down that lane and you almost hit me!”

    Mom: “I most certainly did not! You cut me off.”

    Driver: “The f*** I did, you b****! You cut ME off! I ought to slam the s*** out of your car, you f***.”

    Me: *getting angry* “Hey, inbred, I dare you.”

    Driver: *noticing me* “F*** you, you ugly w****!

    (He jerks his wheel toward us like he’s about to ram us and I stand my ground.)

    Me: “What was that about running our car over?”

    Driver: “Yeah, you keep talking, w****. I’m about to get out and f*** you up!”

    Me: “Try it.”

    (He hasn’t noticed this whole time that he’s in a parking lot full of witnesses and that one of these witnesses has gone in to get the police officer who acts as lot security. He’s outside listening, silently moving up along the truck waiting for the guy to do something.)

    Driver: “B****! Keep talking, you fat f*** skank b****. Need to f****** learn the right of way.”

    Me: “Buddy, from what I see, you’re just running your lip and making a moron out of yourself. Instead of turning into a larger humiliation, maybe you should drive on and shut up.”

    Driver: “F*** YOU!”

    (The driver again jerks his wheel and almost slams into the car parked near us.)

    Driver: “I’m going to f*** your face up, you c***!”

    (He climbs out of his truck and BAM! He’s instantly against the side of his truck with his arms behind his back, because the officer grabs hold of him once he’s stepped down.)

    Cop: “That’s assault, attempted assault, we’ll slap in attempted vehicular manslaughter if you open your mouth again, and on top of that driving while intoxicated. Thank you, ladies. Have a nice day!”

    Won’t Get To Hear The High Notes

    | Los Angeles, CA, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Liars & Scammers, Wild & Unruly

    (I work event security for part time work. Usually it’s pretty mellow, and I just tell people they can’t bring in outside food and beverages. This event is a huge dub-step concert, and it is widely known that most people will try to sneak ‘stuff’ (like drugs) in by the strangest ways. There are a few giveaways when we think someone is trying to sneak stuff in. I notice a tall, skinny guy in his early 20s walking a bit off and see that his eyes are bloodshot.)

    Me: “Hello, sir. How are you doing today?”

    Guest: “Uh, I’m fine…”

    (The guest pauses and starts walking away with a worried look on his face.)

    Me: “Hold on one second. I noticed you were walking a bit off. Are you doing all right?”

    Guest: “Oh, yeah, haha. I’m okay, I guess. It’s just hot, and uh, yeah.” *continues to try to walk away*

    Me: “Just out of curiosity, you wouldn’t happen to be trying to hide any contraband to bring inside the venue, would you?”

    Guest: “Pft! F*** no. F*** that s***. F*** you for assuming that. Is it because I’m white?”

    Me: “Sir, I’m white, too… Since you don’t have anything on you, you wouldn’t mind if one of our K-9 units sniffed you, right?”

    Guest: *still looking worried* “I don’t have to f****** do that! F*** you, lady!”

    Me: “And I don’t have to let you in. Here’s what I’m going to do. Whatever it is you have on you, give it up now, all of it, and I’ll let you go into the venue with no consequences. If you do not give it up right now, I can have you arrested for possession. This is your only free pass. Take it or leave it. Which will it be?”

    (I see him contemplating this, which is just another give-away.)

    Guest: “I don’t have nothin’ on me, b****, so take that.”

    (At this point I have him step off to the side while an officer with a K-9 unit comes over.)

    Me: “Last chance for a free pass, man. All you have to do is surrender whatever it is you are hiding, and I’ll let you go in and have fun. You paid a lot of money to come here. Is it worth not going in just to hold onto some stuff?”

    Guest: “F*** you, b****. I don’t have nothin’ on me. I just want to go inside and have fun.”

    Me: *sigh*

    (Almost as soon as the K-9 gets near us, he makes his motions and sounds indicating he is picking something up.)

    Officer: “Sir, what do you have on you?”

    Guest: “F*** off, a**hole. I just want to go inside.”

    Officer: “I know you have something. Do you want me to find it the easy way or the hard way?”

    Me: *puts on latex gloves, dramatically snapping the wrist as if I’m ready for a cavity search*

    Guest: “Oh, you mean like drugs? Yeah, I forgot I lent these shorts to a friend, and he, uh, must have left some stuff in the pockets without me remembering. I don’t do that s***.”

    (The officer and I look at each other, rolling our eyes and trying not to laugh.)

    Officer: “Sir, can you empty your pockets, please?”

    (The guest reaches into the back of his shorts, pulls a small baggie from his rectum containing packaged heroin, Molly, Ecstasy, and cocaine, throws it at me, and tries to walk away. The officer and I stop him.)

    Guest: “WHAT THE F***, YOU B****! YOU SAID I COULD F****** GO IN IF I GAVE YOU THE F****** DRUGS!”

    Me: “Yes, and you denied that you had anything. I let you know that if you didn’t give it up, you would be arrested for possession.”

    Guest: “I JUST GAVE IT UP, B****!”

    Me: “After your free pass expired…”

    (He continued to curse at me while the officer and I walked him over to the security tent to get booked. We let him know he would not be arrested, but that he was no longer allowed to enter the venue, that his ticket would be confiscated, that he would be walked off the property, and that if he was found back on the property he WOULD be arrested for trespassing. I walked him off the property as he continually mumbled that I was a ‘f****** b****.’ Since I’m a female, the officer trailed behind to make sure I didn’t have any more problems. I started to walk back in when the guest runs up behind me, and punches me square across the face. Only seconds later, the dog was on him. All I got was a bruise on my cheek and a laugh about his stupidity. He got arrested for trespassing, assaulting me, and for the smorgasbord of drugs that were currently in his system.)

    Gives New Meaning To Turn-Down Service

    | USA | Hotels & Lodging, Rude & Risque, Wild & Unruly

    (Three teenagers, two guys and girl, reserve a room together. Our motel has a policy of only 18 and over, so they barely reach that. Two are boyfriend and girlfriend, and the other boy is the boyfriend’s friend. The girlfriend and the friend sneak in the room together, and later the boyfriend comes up to my counter.)

    Boyfriend: “My key is not working. I tried it a million times!”

    Me: “Sir, your key is not working because the people in there have thrown the deadbolt. Therefore, the key will not work unless they open. It’s for the guests’ security.”

    Boyfriend: “I wonder why they would do that?”

    Me: *coughs* “I have no idea. Have you tried their phone?”

    Boyfriend: “Yeah, and they won’t pick up!”

    Me: “Hmmm…”

    Boyfriend: “Maybe you could call their room?”

    (I do so and get no answer. The customer gets even more agitated.)

    Boyfriend: “This is f****** ridiculous, man! I just wanna get into my f****** room, man!”

    Me: “The only thing we can do is go there and knock to see if they will answer.”

    Boyfriend: “Fine! F**k!”

    (Even though I’m not supposed to leave the front desk, the room is not far and I figure only to be away for a minute or so. We go and I knock gently on the door.)

    Me: *calling* “Hello? Anyone there?”

    (Inside, I can hear someone moving around and a radio being turned off.)

    Boyfriend: “HELLO? YO, MAN! IT’S ME, MAN! OPEN UP! I CAN’T GET INSIDE WITHOUT YOU F****** OPENING, MAN!” *bangs on door really loudly*

    (He continues yelling despite me trying to hush him because of disturbing the other guests. The room next door opens and a angry old man glares at us.)

    Old Man: “Shut up! I’m trying to sleep!”

    (The boyfriend ignores him and continues yelling at his friend to open up. Finally, the door opens. Inside I catch a glimpse of the girl and the friend in varying states of undress, staring at us like deer in headlights. I leave quickly, knowing this’ll get ugly soon.)

    Boyfriend: “HEY, MAN! YOU TWO WERE F******?! WHAT THE H***, MAN!”

    (The next day, a very red faced girl checks out with her new boyfriend — the friend, and we get multiple, angry complaints from the angry old man and others about their fighting. The following day, we changed the policy to 21 years and older.)

    Getting Owned By The Owner, Part 6

    | Brighton, England, UK | Awesome Workers, Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink, Wild & Unruly

    (I’m a waitress at a café. We have a really moody customer who just keeps complaining about everything. He asks for the manager but our owner, who is usually really sweet, kind, and caring, goes out to him. The customer and his daughter are sitting at our pavement area. I follow to clear some tables.)

    Owner: “Sir, I’ve been told there’s a problem. How can I help?”

    Customer: “It’s ridiculous! I wanted a can of drink and you only have bottles; my sandwich was so over-filled half of it fell out when I bit it; and my daughter’s milkshake is so cold she can’t drink it! We asked for…”

    (Just then we hear shouting coming from another restaurant about 10 doors down.)

    Other Café: “Stop him! Stop the kid on the bike! He stole my bag!”

    (My boss suddenly flings her arm out and smacks the kid on the bike in the face with the tray she’s holding, sending him flying off his bike, with the stolen bags around his wrist. Everyone just stops what they’re doing and stares, silently. The other café customers come running and we soon hear police sirens. My boss then turns to the grumpy customer.)

    Owner: “You were saying, sir?”

    Customer: “Er… you know what? It’s a bit crazy now. I think we’ll just go…”

    Related:
    Getting Owned By The Owner, Part 5
    Getting Owned By The Owner, Part 4
    Getting Owned By The Owner, Part 3
    Getting Owned By The Owner, Part 2
    Getting Owned By The Owner

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